Library Resources with Introductory Skill Level

Trainer tip: From the NVC perspective, everything someone says or does is either a “please” or a “thank you". In our culture, saying “thank you” usually involves an appreciation in the form of judgment or evaluation. Remember, whether we judge someone as good or bad, judgments and evaluations can create disconnect or tension. Instead, notice how their actions have enriched life, and what feelings it stimulated.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips

Recalling Krishnamurti, Marshall referred to the capability of distinguishing observation vs observation mixed with evaluation as "the highest form of human intelligence." Read on for an exercise to help practice the skill of observation in combination with mindful walking.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Production Date 1/2020
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips

Trainer tip: Be aware of times when you are judging others, demanding, making comparisons, or denying responsibility for your actions. Notice how these communication patterns affect your connection with other people.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 2 - 3 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips

Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips

Little negative impacts can become big when left unattended. Watch for things like using a sharp tone, choosing not to share something, going along with something when you don’t really want to, trying to convince your partner, impulsively turning away, shrinking, losing access to parts of yourself, hiding, daydreaming about a different life, and judgmental thoughts. Instead, shift the dynamic: take responsibility, provide empathy, and commit to change.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Advanced Skill Level
  • Duration 4-6 minutes
  • Production Date 05/2019
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Trainer tip: When we express moralistic judgments we are implying that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. Judging the situation or people can create distance and hurt. Instead, we can express our needs and how we're affected, bringing greater connection and healing. Today, notice how often you judge, and how you feel when you judge.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Introductory Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips

Trainer tip: When we focus on needs further possibilities are more likely to open up. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce and conflicts can arise. Resolution comes when we value everyone’s needs and seek mutually satisfying solutions. We can ask for support towards this outcome.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 2 - 3 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips

Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 2 - 3 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips

Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at least two of your interactions.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Introductory Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips

Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 1-2 minutes
  • Production Date 04/2020
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
 
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