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Nonviolent Communication Basics

Article  • 4 - 6 minutes • 07/2017
All Skill Levels
Article
4 - 6 minutes

Here are some very basic forms and distinctions of NVC. It covers the 4 D's, OFNR, some NVC distinctions, tips, quotes from Marshall Rosenberg, and "feelings and needs" lists, and more. As with any art, these rudiments necessarily must be learned, practiced, understood, embodied and then let go of so as not to become rote and block creativity.


Feelings vs Interpretations

Article  • 1-2 minutes • 04/2020
Beginner Skill Level
Article
1-2 minutes

Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations.


Are You Living Your True Potential?

Article  • 5-8 minutes • 01/2010
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5-8 minutes

How can we live up to our true potential, a life filled with relationships and experiences that truly meet our needs? In this article, Mary offers us a way to bring about inner transformation that can lead to seeing ourselves, others and life differently -- for greater agency, empowerment and choice.


Anatomy of a Trigger: Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

Article  • 7-10 minutes • 10/2017
Beginner Skill Level
Article
7-10 minutes

When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger?  There may be more than is immediately visible.  This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...


Don't Take It Personally

Article  • 10 - 15 minutes • 04/2018
All Skill Levels
Article
10 - 15 minutes

When we don't like what someone is saying to us, sometimes people encourage us to hear their needs, and "not take it personally" -- and we're inclined to agree.  Could "not taking it personally" close our hearts and awareness to others, life and ourselves?  Rachelle Lamb invites us to take a closer look at what it's like when we attend to the situation from our hearts, and skillfully reflect upon our actions with tenderness.


Healing From Betrayal

Article  • 5- 8 minutes • 07/2019
All Skill Levels
Article
5- 8 minutes

Repairing betrayal may include rebuilding self trust, getting support, empathy on both sides over time, and new agreements. Even though your (in)actions don't "cause" someone's behavior, acknowledging any part you played in creating conditions for the behaviors to arise, can support repair. Trust builds slowly as new skills, ways of relating and experiences that reflect honesty, self responsibility, and respect are consistent over time.


Staying Self-Connected in a Challenging Dialogue

Article  • 6-9 minutes • 07/2020
Beginner Skill Level
Article
6-9 minutes

When we're judging we're less able to access both what we care about and constructive next actions. Instead, create more internal space and agency starting with connecting to your feelings and needs; then feel your grief or disappointment; followed by getting curious about the other party's needs and context -- and then based on collective needs and the long term effects make requests or take aligned action that works for all.


The Heart of the Matter: Connecting More Deeply to Your Feelings and Needs

Audio  • 2 hours, 21 minutes • 06/24/2008
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
2 hours, 21 minutes

Do you want to increase your capacity to identify and connect with feelings and needs?  Would you like to enhance your ability to translate judgments? Join Miki for this deep dive into feelings and needs.


Observing without Judgment

Trainer Tip  • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Today, identify the facts, without adding your ideas about why people behave in certain ways. Then consider connecting with the person about what was going on with them. You will find that the more you observe life without judgment and evaluation, the more open you will be to hearing and connecting with other people.


Understanding Judgments

Trainer Tip  • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: Whenever we judge someone else in any way, we create a barrier and distance between us and the other person. Instead, consider shifting from judging other people to awareness of how their behavior affects your feelings and needs. This can make a profound difference in your ability to live peacefully. Read on for more.


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