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Signs of Healthy Differentiation With Empathy

Article  • 4- 6 minutes • 08/2020
All Skill Levels
Article
4- 6 minutes

If you ask for or give empathy and are met with accusations of codependency, there are a number of things you can do to check that you are coming from a place of healthy differentiation. You can see if you're doing so from a place of healthy differentiation -- and notice signs of healthy differentiation when you offer empathy. You can also bring a profound respect for differences, and clear boundaries. Read on for more.


The Powers No One Can Take Away From Us

Article  • 16 - 24 minutes • 05/2019
All Skill Levels
Article
16 - 24 minutes

We can choose our stories of interpretation, and how to respond. And while stories of self-sufficiency can (to a degree) give us more influence over our own lives, they don't erase oppression, war, nor climate change. When stories omit a lens that includes impacts of interdependence, oppression, and structural inequities, stories can also keep us disconnected and blocked from compassion for self and others -- and perpetuating an oppressive status quo. However, with this lens we can make greater compassion and collective liberation possible. Even as the outcome is unknown.


Using an Anchor in Self-Empathy

Article  • 5 - 8 minutes • 4/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

An anchor awakens parts of you that can access a bigger perspective. Also, it can reduce your reactivity, increase conscious relating, and support self-compassion. An anchor helps you get a little bit bigger than the reactivity you are experiencing so that you can access a wiser discernment. It is simple, and can be done anytime and anywhere. Learn to direct your attention to develop your anchor in self-empathy.


The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions

Article  • 4 - 6 minutes • 4/2014
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection.  The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc).  Once we let the map drop away, we can engage with the people in our lives in a more heartfelt way.  This article explains more about how we can use the map to remind us of our  heartfelt consciousness...


Let it RAIN!

with Jim Manske
Article  • 5 - 8 minutes • 02/2017
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

This article outlines a four-part transformation process to help us recognize what's giving rise to our suffering and resentment -- and transform it into more freedom, creativity, and choice.


Anatomy of a Trigger: Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

Article  • 7-10 minutes • 10/2017
Beginner Skill Level
Article
7-10 minutes

When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger?  There may be more than is immediately visible.  This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...


Independence vs. Interdependence in NVC

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 08/2020
All Skill Levels
Article
3 - 5 minutes

For us to have a more peaceful world and relationships, growing our skills to engage interdependently is key. An interdependence-oriented person may choose to attend to both inner factors and outer factors that affect their own and others' experiences. Unfortunately, this is likely to be misunderstood by independence-oriented people as enmeshment -- and this is where conflict emerges. Read on for more.


Understanding Selfishness, Self-Responsibility, and Self-Care

Article  • 6 - 9 minutes • 11/2020
All Skill Levels
Article
6 - 9 minutes

What we refer to as "selfishness" is action taken without concern for the impact or cost of that action. Self-responsibility, on the other hand, includes actively living from the truth of interdependence, care for your and others needs, thriving of all, and more. We can access clarity of self care when we have open flexibility, curiosity, and responsiveness. Read on for more on the indicators and attributes of each of these distinctions.


How I Changed My Relationship to Time

Article  • 8 - 12 minutes • 1/2012
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
8 - 12 minutes

What would happen if you considered that time is a concept, and that it doesn't rule your life? What would it mean to make all choices based on needs and not on time? Do you obey the external rhythm of the clock over and above the internal rhythm of your life energy? This is an invitation into more responsibility, awareness, honesty, choice and freedom.


How To Stop Arguing

Article  • 9-13 minutes • 9/2/2021
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
9-13 minutes

Transform arguments with these steps: take responsibility for your mind, increase your capacity for discomfort, slow down, show up and remember your values, offer understanding, take risks, and speak from your heart. Learning new skills takes time, energy and effort. However, it’s entirely possible to radically shift the way we communicate. The key is patience, persistence, and taking it one step at a time.


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