Tips for the Road Series: Tip 24. Shine a Light on Your Shadow: Projection Detection and Reclaiming Disowned Parts
How do you know when you’re projecting disowned parts or replaying old relationship dynamics? It’s hard to know for sure, but if you find yourself upset or shutting down and unable to have a dialogue in which you can speak clearly about your feelings and needs and empathize with the other’s feelings and needs, there is likely a projection. The stronger your reaction, the more likely you are projecting.
Trainer Tip: Many of us are afraid of our anger because we haven’t learned how to express it in a way that brings relief or that helps us meet our needs in the situation. Consider a different approach to anger, one that helps you fully express your anger and is more likely to help you meet your needs for relief, to be heard, or to be understood.
Along with it’s potential for helping others calm their emotions and feel deeply understood, the Nonviolent Communication process of empathetic listening can help someone increase their capacity for finding their own truth.
In our fast-paced, busy lives it is tempting to practice NVC mostly with the left hemisphere of the brain, thinking through the steps quickly without slowing down to connect more deeply with feelings and needs. Don't miss an opportunity to integrate the hemispheres of the brain and the valuable information from the neural networks in the heart and gut.
This session is from the NVC Academy's 2017 Telethon. Listen in as Mary offers two experiential self-empathy exercises: I Love It When, and What Do I Want / Why Do I Want It. Deepen your ability to connect with self — novel and effective ways to engage the process of Self-Empathy!
Victor shares a story about a bystander who takes action without formal authority, using it s an example of transformatiive leadership skills, acting with care, needs-based commitment to the well-being of "the whole," and making a positive difference.