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Anatomy of a Trigger: Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

Article •  7-10 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
7-10 minutes

When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger?  There may be more than is immediately visible.  This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...


Independence vs. Interdependence in NVC

Article •  3 - 5 minutes • 
All Skill Levels
Article
3 - 5 minutes

For us to have a more peaceful world and relationships, growing our skills to engage interdependently is key. An interdependence-oriented person may choose to attend to both inner factors and outer factors that affect their own and others' experiences. Unfortunately, this is likely to be misunderstood by independence-oriented people as enmeshment -- and this is where conflict emerges. Read on for more.


Finding Systemic Solutions to Systemic Problems

Article •  23 - 34 minutes • 
All Skill Levels
Article
23 - 34 minutes

Society gives us short-sighted explanations about human nature, life and what’s (un)changeable. The coronavirus pandemic is disrupting that explanation. Our current social order upholds impoverishment, police brutality, and is leading us towards our extinction. Change begins with people mobilizing resources towards a vision that holds systemic care for all, plus engages shared risk and collective action towards that vision.


Intention and Effect

Article •  12 - 18 minutes • 
Advanced Skill Level
Article
12 - 18 minutes

When someone expresses upset about our actions, and we focus on our intention being seen and understood (e.g. "I didn’t mean to hurt you”) it doesn't support the speaker in being heard more deeply with care. Here we'll explore this dynamic in a way that supports more clarity and the possibility of greater personal liberation. Read on for more.


Stimulus vs. Cause

Trainer Tip •  1 - 2 minutes • 
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: Notice how the exact same actions can stimulate different feelings depending on if your needs are met or unmet. So while what people say or do is the stimulus, the actual cause of our feelings comes from our met or unmet needs. Read on for more on this.