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Four Ways to Hear Any Message

Trainer Tip •  1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: In every interaction, we have a choice of responding in one of these four ways: judge/blame self, Judge/blame others, empathize with self, and/or empathize with others. The goal is to make a conscious choice about our response. Notice the choices you have when you receive someone’s communication today.


Courage

Article •  4 - 6 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
4 - 6 minutes

In listening to what our emotions tell us, and embracing what we do not know, we begin the path of courage. Even though our culture tells us not to, revealing our imperfections is where we can deeply connect. Living our lives more courageously honest, can shift us towards inspiring one another. Read on for how some people experienced this in coming together to transform one woman's heroine addiction.


Hearing the Yes behind the No

Trainer Tip •  1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: It's often easy for us to hear rejection when someone says “no” to us. If we focus on the rejection, we may feel hurt and fail to take the time to understand what is going on with them. However, if we focus on their feelings and needs, we're more likely to uncover what they want and what prevents them. To increase success in resolving conflicts and find solutions that work for everyone, hear the “yes” behind their "no".


Transforming Complaint

Trainer Tip •  1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: NVC-based social change naturally emerges from “a certain kind of spirituality”, a quality of spiritual clarity. Intuitions and impulses arising from spiritual clarity are more likely to support sustainable systems. Read on for how to bring more of this in, and ways to transform your complaint into commitment.


Saying Thank You without Judgment

Trainer Tip •  1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: From the NVC perspective, everything someone says or does is either a “please” or a “thank you". In our culture, saying “thank you” usually involves an appreciation in the form of judgment or evaluation. Remember, whether we judge someone as good or bad, judgments and evaluations can create disconnect or tension. Instead, notice how their actions have enriched life, and what feelings it stimulated.


Observing: Practicing the distinction between "observation" and "observation mixed with evaluation"

Practice Exercise •  1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
1 - 2 minutes

Recalling Krishnamurti, Marshall referred to the capability of distinguishing observation vs observation mixed with evaluation as "the highest form of human intelligence." Read on for an exercise to help practice the skill of observation in combination with mindful walking.


Interdependence vs. Dependence/Independence

Trainer Tip •  1 - 2 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: NVC consciousness recognizes interdependence. In this process each person is autonomous; everyone's needs matter; people have choice and responsibility for their actions; there's abundance, and a valuing of coming together. The dependence / independence paradigm assumes we either need someone else to be whole -- or we don’t need others at all. Commit to living autonomously. Notice where you struggle with this.


Life-Alienating Communication

Trainer Tip •  2 - 3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Trainer tip: Be aware of times when you are judging others, demanding, making comparisons, or denying responsibility for your actions. Notice how these communication patterns affect your connection with other people.


Taking Responsibility for Meeting Our Needs

Trainer Tip •  3 - 5 minutes
Beginner Skill Levels
Trainer Tip
3 - 5 minutes

This trainer tip suggests ways to transform blame in to personal power. He suggests having multiple sources of support and multiple pathways to achieving the outcome you want, to allow more room to hear a "no". Read on for more.


Enjoying the Jackal Show

Trainer Tip •  2 - 3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Trainer tip: Be aware of your inner jackal chatter today and make a commitment to listen for the underlying needs they are trying to tell you about.