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While someone is upset or hurt they may "listen" to us to gather evidence for a rebuttal, to assert or validate a preconceived idea, and so on. When in this "predatory listening" mode, the "listener's" needs overshadow relational values like understanding, connection, or mutuality. In response to this we can consider our purpose, affirm any positive intent or need in what they say, and ask direct, honest questions.

Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy these statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or thank you in your conversations today.

Dialogue is a life-changing, heart-opening experience. It’s collaboration instead of compromise. Join Miki Kashtan for a practical, step-by-step framework to help you understand how a community develops, how to maintain or repair a community, and how this unique process creatively supports you and each member of your community in getting things done.

This 3-part telecourse recording explores what it means to practice “power with” parenting with babies, toddlers and preschoolers. Ingrid has been teaching and writing about very young children for a decade and has a special passion for this age range.

Trainer Tip: List specific things that would signify love to you. Based on who the other person is and who you are, how could your need for love be met? Being specific is important. General statements, such as “I just want you to love me” or “I would like you to be more attentive and listen to me more” won’t work. (S)he may already think (s)he is attentive. What would being attentive look like to you? And how will he know if (s)he’s been attentive enough?

We can cultivate spiritual clarity through bringing attention to our intentions, mourning, gratitude, and the dynamic flow of feelings and needs. This can bring more autonomy, choice and liberate the energy of connection and contribution. We can also awaken our hearts to see the reality that our well-being is mutually interdependent. Read on for more.

When we're faced with certain situations we tend to go into a fight, flight or freeze mode. While these can sometimes be helpful and even lifesaving, they can also be crippling when the situation may not be life-threatening. In this episode, we give you some tips on how to shift into a more intentional way of handling difficult situations.

This guide features three activities that use feelings and needs cards: two verions of "Feelings and Needs Poker" and one for "Self-Empathy". Great for practicing alone, with a partner, or in a group.

Mary offers tips for developing effective tracking skills, including how the energy of the group is managed discerning the qualities of presence for each of the members, and monitoring group participation while striving for a balance of inclusion.

Ever wish you knew how you might experience more choice when you've been triggered, instead of being trapped in old habits and unmet needs? Wish you could REALLY heal old internal messages that tell you you're not good enough… not loveable… or not deserving? Join veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, Mary Mackenzie, for this 6-session course designed to deepen your ability to connect with self and heal your past through the process of Self-empathy.