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When asked to talk about Self-Empathy to a professional group with no NVC background, Mary devised a quick and easy new practice: Jackal vs Needs. It takes the basics of NVC and turns them into delightfully clear and straightforward questions! Excerpted from the 2017 NVC Telethon.

Responding to a Painful Comment: How do you carry on a conversation when someone’s comment has had an impact on you? And what happens when two intentions clash because of different perspectives? Here’s Roxy’s powerful, common sense approach.

Listen in as Roxy Manning and Mary Mackenzie introduce NVC… share information on the dynamics of identity in social change movements… and demonstrate through role playing how NVC grows connection.

I greatly enjoyed my New Year’s Peace Meditation yesterday as it brings together NVC enthusiasts from across the world. It is one of my favorite traditions for welcoming the New Year!

That is my mantra this year. It came to me when I was headed somewhere to do something that I had wanted to do, and yet I was feeling annoyed about it because traffic was heavy and overwhelming. I then gave myself a few moments of self-empathy where I connected to the deeper needs that were propelling me to do the thing in the first place. In an instant, my annoyance and looming resentment slipped away and I felt happy and relaxed.

It is 5:30 in the morning. I am sitting in a medical facility waiting for my wife, Kim, who has just gone in for a minor surgical procedure. I have only had a couple of hours of sleep and I can barely keep my eyes open. I am not very worried, but am a little worried about Kim. The kind of worry that happens to me when anyone I love (human or animal) is put “under” anesthesia.

Recently, I have been pondering anger, how I express it and the jackal story I tell myself about it. Marshall Rosenberg taught that anger is a natural emotion that is based on a judgment of someone else or myself. I agree with this, so I have been doing some “enemy images” and self-empathy work (and praying for those who are most likely to be the recipients of my anger). My goal was to clear my judgments and take responsibility for my “stuff.” It has helped a lot, and yet I still feel a general anger in me that is not directly related to anyone or any specific situation.

I am writing to you with CELEBRATION on my mind. The NVC Academy has launched its new and improved website!! If you have not checked it out yet, please do so now: https://nvcacademy.com.

Last year, I planted my vegetable garden in February. It was an enormous amount of work to get it ready. This year, we decided to move the garden farther away from trees (to avoid the ongoing tree root issue and allow more sun). So, we created 4 new beds. Now, they are ready to be planted, and yet… forward momentum has stalled.

I want to report that after writing last month’s Growing Roots letter, I did indeed employ my tried-and-true method of moving past inertia: First step time limits. In doing so, I  made progress on planting my vegetable garden.