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Getting Past the Parenting "Shoulds": Compassionate Parenting Starts With Self-Acceptance

Practice Exercise • 3 - 5 minutes • 11/16/2021
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
3 - 5 minutes
11/16/2021

Without self-acceptance any attempt at growth and transformation, even while parenting, can easily become a path to self-judgments and another yardstick against which to measure ourselves as falling short. Instead, we can practice 1 minute a day or more, or while doing other tasks, to develop the self-compassion and self-acceptance needed to grow both new habits and our capacity to meet our children with calm and compassion.


Hearing The Yes Behind The No

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005

Trainer tip: It's often easy for us to hear rejection when someone says “no” to us. If we focus on the rejection, we may feel hurt and fail to take the time to understand what is going on with them. However, if we focus on their feelings and needs, we're more likely to uncover what they want and what prevents them. To increase success in resolving conflicts and find solutions that work for everyone, hear the “yes” behind their "no".


Working with Resistance

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 4/2011
All Skill Levels
Article
4 - 6 minutes
4/2011

With coaching or counselling clients, their resistance can show up as “bracing against” something. But if we push back against their resistance, we miss noticing what they're protecting or embracing. By going into resistance clients build awareness and often shift when they get clear about their underlying needs, and new choices. Some clients don’t shift even after we’ve tried everything. In that case, read on to learn about Frank Farrelly's "provocative therapy".


Working With Our Mixed “Yes”

Practice Exercise • 1-2 minutes • 1/29/2022
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
1-2 minutes
1/29/2022

For this exercise choose a situation in which you have said a “yes” to someone‛s request but you didn't experience your “yes” as given freely or joyfully. Then explore judgements, feelings, needs, and alternate strategies that come up in relation to your “yes”, your “no”, and in relation to what the other person might be experiencing.


Dissolving Reactivity With Your Partner

Article • 3-5 minutes • 2/2019
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes
2/2019

Most reactivity in intimate relationships comes from a lack of confidence in maintaining intimacy, autonomy, or security. What may help is naming what's happening, interrupting shame, and anchoring or reassuring yourself. You can also reflect on the effects of acting from reactivity. Knowing what helps center you, ask your partner to do or say specific things that might help. Read on for more.


Help For The Cycle Of Overwhelm And Withdrawal

Practice Exercise • 3-5 minutes • 03/02/2022
Intermediate Skill Level
Practice Exercise
3-5 minutes
03/02/2022

If withdrawal is your stress pattern, you likely want to belong and yet have habits of expression that others find uninviting. Instead, soften, relax, and open your posture and energy. Find something that will bring you to smile. Engage with others -- make eye contact, smile, walk towards others, say hello, and sit in an open posture. Let others know that you're a bit overwhelmed, but want to connect and are glad to be here.


Somatic-Based Empathy

Practice Exercise • 1-2 minutes • 11/16/2021
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
1-2 minutes
11/16/2021

Use this interactive empathy exercise to track the relationship and shifting of body sensations, feelings and needs as you note them out loud.


Hear the Needs

Video • 27 minutes • 06/2010
Introductory Skill Level
Video
27 minutes
06/2010

This is a documentary of the use of Nonviolent Communication at Euclid High School, Ohio, in a history class with a teacher practicing NVC accompanied by CNVC Certified Trainer Catherine Cadden. Remastered in February 2019 to reduce ambient noise.


Going Deep: Understanding Your Own and Others’ Deeper Motivations

Practice Exercise • n/a • 09/2016
Intermediate Skill Level
Practice Exercise
n/a
09/2016

 One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan's exercise called  "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling.


When You Are Being "Talked At"

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 4/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes
4/2019

Has someone ever talked to you to the extent that you're no longer enjoying it, and you now wonder if they even know you're there? Learn ways to bring in emotional understanding, engage more honestly and open-heartedly, and bridge next steps to the type of conversation that engages everyone's needs.


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