Responding to Breakdown of Trust in Police: Capitalism, Racism, and Creative Compassion

Article • 39 - 60 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
39 - 60 minutes
If we're to have a better future, our biggest task will be to reexamine what the police are, their place in the system, and more. Police violence exists by systemic design. The myths of where the problems and symptoms lie with the police, capitalism, laws, government, citizens, class and racism --plus the relationship between all these-- is what keeps oppression ongoing on a mass scale. For change to happen, we'll need to find systemic leverage points, and use privilege to benefit those without it. Read on for more.

Change Your Thoughts to Change Your World

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Changing your thoughts can change the way people experience you. Just for today, see if you can notice when you have judgmental thoughts about yourself or other people. Then look to translate those thoughts into your feelings and needs. Read on for an example of how this works.


Signs of Healthy Differentiation With Empathy

Article • 4- 6 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
4- 6 minutes
If you ask for or give empathy and are met with accusations of codependency, there are a number of things you can do to check that you are coming from a place of healthy differentiation. You can see if you're doing so from a place of healthy differentiation -- and notice signs of healthy differentiation when you offer empathy. You can also bring a profound respect for differences, and clear boundaries. Read on for more.

Unpacking OFNR - Requests

Article • 5 - 8 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes
Many believe it's only a true NVC request when we can ask for what we need without urgency or insistence. But what if we're the target of oppression and hate in a world with systemic inequality? Is it still nonviolence to abdicate power by allowing the person enacting harm to be the one to decide whether harm continues? The intensity of the need, degree of harm, and how chronically unmet the need is, are factors to guide us for when to apply force and demand within NVC. We can be attached to outcome, without being attached to strategy.

Being the Change We Seek

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Is there something you would like more of in your life right now? Try not to look to other people to provide the kind of experiences you want. Can you think of a way that you can be the change you seek? See if responding to the people the way you would want them to respond to you shifts something. Read on for an example of how.


Contributing to Emotional Safety Without Giving Up Honesty

Article • 5 - 7 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 7 minutes
Even in a conflict, you can offer emotional safety without being enmeshed -- and you can do this without sliding into strategies to gain power over another. You can prioritize connection, express your intention, make space for mutuality, honestly reveal what you care about and propose a way forward. This means caring for your needs regardless of their response -- and mourning if their response isn't what you want. Read on for more.

Independence vs. Interdependence in NVC

Article • 3 - 5 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
3 - 5 minutes
For us to have a more peaceful world and relationships, growing our skills to engage interdependently is key. An interdependence-oriented person may choose to attend to both inner factors and outer factors that affect their own and others' experiences. Unfortunately, this is likely to be misunderstood by independence-oriented people as enmeshment -- and this is where conflict emerges. Read on for more.

Become Willing to Express Appreciation

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: If someone has enriched your life (or moment) in some way, consider telling them about it. Your appreciation might be just the gift they need to contribute to brightening their day.


Understanding Selfishness, Self-Responsibility, and Self-Care

Article • 6 - 9 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
6 - 9 minutes
What we refer to as "selfishness" is action taken without concern for the impact or cost of that action. Self-responsibility, on the other hand, includes actively living from the truth of interdependence, care for your and others needs, thriving of all, and more. We can access clarity of self care when we have open flexibility, curiosity, and responsiveness. Read on for more on the indicators and attributes of each of these distinctions.

Finding Your Way Through Hard Times

Article • 2 - 3 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Article
2 - 3 minutes

What have you lost this year? Are you grieving too? Recognition of loss can helped contextualize our emotions. When we can meet grief with understanding, patience and tenderness, when we create space to mourn our losses -- and to begin to process, heal and metabolize loss. This can helps us make sense of change and orient to a new reality. Grief is a longing for what we love.


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