Free NVC Learning Resources

Dear Friend,

It is 5:30 in the morning. I am sitting in a medical facility waiting for my wife, Kim, who has just gone in for a minor surgical procedure. I have only had a couple of hours of sleep and I can barely keep my eyes open. I am not very worried, but am a little worried about Kim. The kind of worry that happens to me when anyone I love (human or animal) is put “under” anesthesia.

Then, a lady sits down next to me and starts talking… A LOT.

Have I ever mentioned that I lean toward introversion? That means that I rejuvenate best when I am alone and when under stress, I do better with little or no talking. I am literally horrified that she is talking so much to me. My eyes continue to droop and try to close for a little rest.

I am certain that the level of tiredness I feel will prevent me from asking her to stop in a way that shows compassion or care, so I start to pray soundlessly instead: “Please help this lady to stop talking to me or help me find a way to enjoy her stories and her. Please help me find compassion and care and to know her beautiful being.”

Sigh. I really so much prefer it when I am resourced enough to receive people well, and to ask for what I want, but sometimes I just do not have it. Sometimes, asking for what I want is not the best approach. Do you know what I mean? 

There is a lot about this woman that could be easy to dismiss: Her dress, her use of the English language, her verbose stories, and the fact that she is drinking a large cup of punch and eating onion rings at 5:30 a.m. 

If I had chosen to do that, though, I would have missed out on getting to know a fascinating person! A person who, as it turns out, shares with me a devotion to Spirit, trusting one’s intuition through challenging life experiences, staying emotionally attuned even when life is really painful so we “don’t go numb” as she put it, and so much more.

She was called to her husband before Kim was ready for me and I missed her when she left. I wish we had exchanged names and I also acknowledge that our connection was perfect as it was. Now, I have time to write this letter and to integrate the sweetness she brought into my life. We found out later, from one of the nurses, that her husband’s surgery went really well, and also that she had sent well wishes to Kim and me, too.

I am grateful for this lady. Grateful for our connection. Grateful for her reminder to “not go numb” to our feelings.

What about you? Where do you go numb to your feelings? Is there a particular place in your being that calls for Life? Consider giving a little love and attention to that inner call or simply sidle up to someone and start joyfully chatting!

Here is to unexpected sweetness entering your life… 

Mary Mackenzie
CEO and Co-Founder, NVC Academy
CNVC Certified Trainer

p.s. Did you know that March 8 is International Women’s Day? Consider doing one simple thing on that day to honor the women in your life and YOU if you identify as female.