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Crafting Connection Requests

Practice Exercise •  2 - 3 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Practice Exercise
2 - 3 minutes

Try this four step exercise for making connection requests to support understanding, and to learn what effect your words had on the listener. In this exercise you'll choose a situation where you have clarity about what outcome will really work for you (your solution request), but where you imagine your desired outcome may not work for the other person, and/or are not sure there is sufficient connection for mutual trust.


Working With Anger: An Exercise

Practice Exercise •  2 -3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
2 -3 minutes

Fully connecting to the deeper need under the anger can transform and release the anger, without requiring the other person to do anything differently. From there, you can reach an understanding of the other person's experience, feelings and needs underlying the actions that stimulated your anger to re-establish connection with your own and the other person's humanity.


Working With Our Mixed “Yes”

Practice Exercise •  1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
1-2 minutes

For this exercise choose a situation in which you have said a “yes” to someone‛s request but you didn't experience your “yes” as given freely or joyfully. Then explore judgements, feelings, needs, and alternate strategies that come up in relation to your “yes”, your “no”, and in relation to what the other person might be experiencing.


Working With “No” To Deepen Self-Connection

Practice Exercise •  1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
1 - 2 minutes

Use this exercise to stay in dialogue and connect to needs while facing a “no”. Identify a situation where you have low confidence that you'll get your needs met, and it'll be hard hearing a “no” to your request. Explore your response to the “no” by working with feelings, needs, request and alternate strategies. Thus you can work towards meeting your needs while also releasing the idea that your needs “have to” be met.


From Blame To Power

Practice Exercise •  12 -18 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Practice Exercise
12 -18 minutes
Blame is opaque when we don’t reflect on it deeply. We blame when we don’t see ourselves as having power to shape things, and see others as the ones who can. Blame and how we respond to it, is both a symptom of inability to step into power, and an impediment to empowered relationships. Transforming blame requires self-responsibility. Read on for practices involving empathy, inner connection, power, preparation and engaging options.

Groups Tip Series: Working with Frequent Interruptions

Trainer Tip •  3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
3 minutes

How can I deal with someone who is constantly interrupting and derailing our process?


Groups Tip Series: How Can I Support More Collaboration?

Trainer Tip •  4 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
4 minutes

It seems to me that people see ideas which are different from theirs as threatening. Instead of listening, the group polarizes around the different ideas and a lot of judgments develop, conflicts develop and people feel hurt. Forward progress becomes a battle ground. How can I support more collaboration?


Groups Tip Series: The Value of Groups

Trainer Tip •  3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
3 minutes

Listen to Miki talk about the value of participating in groups, recognizing our inherent nature to do so, how industrialization has hindered our skills and the value of participating in a time when it's most needed.


The Cause of Our Feelings

Trainer Tip •  3-5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
3-5 minutes

Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”


Is NVC Always, in the End, “Just One-on-One”?

Trainer Tip •  3-5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
3-5 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "Can you share stories of transforming group conflict, or is NVC strictly intended for 'one-on-one' work?"


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