Here we explore variants of conflict patterns in part two (of this two part series) that include: refuting "straw man arguments"; not checking understanding, repeating unhelpful behaviour; repeatedly asking for what's already given; asserting rather than demonstrating responsiveness; assumptions; denying conflict exists; neglecting interdependence; stonewalling; absence of curiosity, humility, respect, empathy or care (even when reflecting).

To resolve conflict, information of what's important to each party, plus corrections, needs to be included and built upon. Here we explore nine patterns of ongoing conflict, including diagnosis; assuming understanding; refuting; unhelpful communication mediums; over focus on intent over effect; and “hit-and-run” engagement. This is part one of a two part series.

Codependency occurs when others' behavior affects us in unhealthy ways and we get obsessed with controlling their behavior. For example, we may focus on other's needs while neglect what matters to us, and resent it. Or we may depend on others to rescue us from results of our actions. Or we may fix or rescue others' neglected responsibilities. Or we may make others responsible for our needs. Instead, notice your needs, what you can('t) change, and your priorities.

Trainer Tip: You may find yourself assessing the relationship with someone just based on how they feel. Check in with yourself: How do you feel and what needs of yours are met when you spend time with someone? Consider whether this relationship is working for you. If it isn’t, be specific about which of your needs are unmet. Notice if you can do anything to help meet them.

• Understand the destructive dynamics that keep love from blossoming
• Learn how to deal with expectations, disappointments, and judgment
• Transform guilt, shame, and obligations into a flow of creativity
• Find out what tiny details are preventing natural love to flow!

• Discover what is yours to do in response to our global crises
• Weave nonviolence more deeply into how you live and lead
• Receive ongoing support in how to be effective and alive while pursuing your highest goals
• Increase your capacity to face and mourn current reality as a source of greater choice and energy
• Be a part of transforming the legacy of scarcity, separation, and powerlessness into a livable future

• Unpack interpersonal, internalized, and institutional racism from the lens of NVC consciousness
• Hear and share personal stories and the impacts of racism, power, and privilege 
• Learn how to translate “hard to hear" messages into meaningful conversations 
• Expand and deepen the conversation of systemic and interpersonal racism

• Inscrease compassion for yourself through understanding why your capacity may lag so far behind your commitment and what you can do to bridge the gap
• Higher Compassion for your children as you understand better what life is like from within their own experience rather than from the outside looking in
• Surge in energy that you can put into new conversations with them designed to make agreements that are based on the truth of where you all are rather than on any "should"

Trainer Tip: When we match might with might, we create discord, frustration, and separation from other people. Instead, place aside your urge to be right or to win. Approach charged situations with a sincere desire to be honest, and to value everyone’s needs including your own. The way you show up is a valuable asset. You may not get what you asked for but you can increase your chances of meeting your needs for integrity, and more.

Trainer Tip: When you make a request of someone, you don't diminish your relationship; you enhance it. If you receive a "no" to your request, consider brainstorming a different strategy that would meet your needs. It isn’t a sign of weakness to clarify what you would like. It helps you commit to living a full and joyful life. Look for opportunities to clarify your requests.