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Miki Kashtan

Miki Kashtan

CNVC Certified Trainer, author and co-founder of Bay Area Nonviolent Communication (BayNVC) and the North America NVC Leadership Program, from Oakland, California, USA

Miki Kashtan is a co-founder of Bay Area Nonviolent Communication (BayNVC) and Lead Collaboration Consultant at the Center for Efficient Collaboration. Miki aims to support visionary leadership and shape a livable future using collaborative tools based on the principles of Nonviolent Communication. She shares these tools through meeting facilitation, mediation, consulting, coaching, and training for organizations and committed individuals. Her latest book, The Highest Common Denominator: Using Convergent Facilitation to Reach Breakthrough Collaborative Decisions (2021) explores the practices and systems needed for a collaborative society. She is also the author of Reweaving Our Human Fabric: Working together to Create a Nonviolent Future, Spinning Threads of Radical Aliveness: Transcending the Legacy of Separation in Our Individual Lives, and The Little Book of Courageous Living. Miki blogs at The Fearless Heart and her articles have appeared in the New York Times ("Want Teamwork? Encourage Free Speech"), Tikkun, Waging Nonviolence, Shareable, Peace and Conflict, and elsewhere. She holds a Ph.D. in Sociology from UC Berkeley.

 

Often when receiving feedback from others, the habit can be to jump to defensiveness or shame. In this excerpt, Miki describes how, in order to be able to stay with the feedback and use it as information, you need to increase compassion for yourself and the other person.

Learn to speak NVC using your own voice and increase ease and flow in all your personal and professional conversations. This 7-session telecourse recording with renowned trainer Miki Kashtan is designed to help you integrate NVC into all aspects of your life by gaining fluency in your practice of NVC and by embodying the principles regardless of the words you use. This course is based on intensive practice and coaching with real-life examples from participants’ lives.

  • Discover what is yours to do in response to our global crises
  • Weave nonviolence more deeply into how you live and lead
  • Receive ongoing support in how to be effective and alive while pursuing your highest goals
  • Increase your capacity to face and mourn current reality as a source of greater choice and energy
  • Be a part of transforming the legacy of scarcity, separation, and powerlessness into a livable future
One NVC principle is "stimulus vs cause" - one may be the stimulus but never the cause of another's feelings. When we're upset this principle can help us express pain without blame. However, when others are upset it's easy to slip into blaming them using this principle. Instead, we can hear their pain with care and heartfelt mourning - without guilt nor defensiveness, and whether or not we agree. All this is important if we're sincerely applying compassion. Read on for more.

What can you do to increase your capacity to trust? How can you channel energy toward togetherness rather than towards mistrusting people? In this video, Miki opens an inquiry about trust in life, trusting the way that life unfolds, trusting that life will take care of itself. Sufficient consistent togetherness is the primary optimal condition needed to transform the groove of mistrust and create a different way of being in life.

So often we're habituated to associate a “why” question with being reproached, blamed or shamed – and so defensiveness arises. However, in order to maintain a flow of understanding and collaboration, we need to hear and say the “why” while finding other ways to ask for it. Here we look at how to ask questions that bring each of us vital information that can open up discovery and learning, for our mutual benefit.

Untethering from dominant culture and internalized oppression takes releasing attachments and persistence inspite upheavals -- all with insufficient support. Even in community building we can bring oppression into our efforts to untether. The more we walk towards vision, the more tethers of patriarchy we undo, the more the cost. By exacting such high cost, patriarchal societies reproduce and sustain themselves. To untether we need fortitude.

How can we mobilize this insight in support of our own and others' healing? These recordings will shed light on how the social context into which we are born affects our experience, and what we can do about it at the individual level within the paradigm of nonviolence.

What specifically is leadership? And why do so many people step back from it? Listen in as Miki shares her experience and thoughts around changing the paradigm of leadership, as well as the role – and challenges – of using NVC when working for social change.

Listen in as Miki challenges participants to step beyond the comfort or discomfort of their lives, and encourages them to instead take responsibility for their part in sustaining life on this planet, and more.

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