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John Kinyon

CNVC Certified Trainer from El Sobrante, California, USA

CNVC Certified Trainer from El Sobrante, California, USA

John Kinyon provides communication training, coaching, and facilitation to the public and organizations. He is co-creator of the Mediate Your Life training program, which is a year-long public training offered in different parts of the U.S. and internationally. The training gives people the ability to connect across conflicting differences and divides, and work together in highly effective ways to reach new possibilities and solutions. John's work is based in the international work of Compassionate Communication (Nonviolent Communication, NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg, who John worked closely with for over a decade. John has been a certified trainer of the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC) since 2000, and a leader in the world-wide NVC community. John is co-author of the books: From Conflict to Connection: Transforming Difficult Conversations into Peaceful Resolutions, and Choosing Peace: New Ways to Communicate to Reduce Stress, Create Connection, and Resolve Conflict.

Latest NVC Library Resources with John Kinyon

Two NVC trainers went into dangerous, war torn territory to share the skills they found so valuable but end up learning that they need to first apply those skills before those they came to help could receive what they had to offer. Only when the foundation of connection and trust was built could they mediate the conflicts using empathic communication.

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Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.

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The American mythos of Independence Day is that liberty, equality, and opportunity are for all. Yet since the country's formation, these needs have been for some at the expense of others. It started with the brutal robbery and genocide of Native Americans and slavery of Africans. And this theme continued for generations in various forms, including how we related to other peoples, countries, and the ecosphere. To achieve true justice, liberty, and opportunity for all we may need to overcome the ego's sense of separation. Compassionate noncooperation may also be key.

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Whether its pandemics, climate change, damage to the environment or other massive challenges that humanity faces, what are we to do if we can't agree on even the most basic information and knowledge? From empathic understanding we can focus on shared, universal human needs (where there is no conflict or disagreement) underlying our perceptions, and feelings. Then we can see if there are ways we can agree on to meet those needs.

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Control may help us feel safe in an unpredictable, unsafe, wild world. Wanting control may be a response to shielding ourselves from feeling fear and being aware of our vulnerability. The more we insulate from fear, discomfort, and vulnerability, the more we are cut off from aliveness; we can become more anxious, and depressed. The more we control the more we are disconnected from empathy and care. With aliveness come joy, peace, love, awe.

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