NVC Library

Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

Introductory Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Every time you criticize yourself, you cause yourself to feel shame and guilt, which promotes depression and stagnation. Instead, bringing in more self compassion can increase opportunities for change. Do this by acknowledging your needs (or values) that aren’t met by your actions. Read on for how to do this.

Finding Worthiness and Belonging

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Worthlessness and shame are linked to the idea of not belonging or being unworthy of belonging -- that is, a deep sense of belonging to life, to your sense of self, and to our earth. Compensatory strategies to win worthiness and belonging arise from here and effectively block the very thing it is pursuing. Transformation occurs when there is a critical mass of clarity about the harm of a particular way of thinking and behaving.

3 Simple Steps to Set The Boundaries You Need

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
Resentment is one sign that you need a boundary. You can set a boundary by requesting the behavior that would be most meaningful to you. Include why that behavior would be meaningful to you and share vulnerably. Then notice if you are holding any blame and ask yourself, “What do I need to feel underneath my blame?” If you can take responsibility for those feelings with compassion, the other person is more likely to collaborate.

Honesty Is the Key

Introductory Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: In Nonviolent Communication, we see expressing honesty as a gift of our authenticity, and a chance for others to support us in getting our needs met -- this can flourish and deepen our relationships. We can notice and act on opportunities to be honest with the components of OFNR (Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests).

Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
When someone responds with painful sarcasm, criticism, or dismissal you can respond with empathy, or with clarity about your intention, need and request. If you're unable to do this, later you can privately write what they said, identify the feelings and needs of both of you, then write possible responses. This can help you remember to stay with your intention and what’s true for you without getting caught in defensiveness or reactivity.

Rooms in the Same House – Interweaving NVC and Buddhism (complete course)

All Skill Levels • Audio • 6 - 8 hours
All Skill Levels
Audio
6 - 8 hours

Find renewed aliveness and connection in your daily life through NVC and Buddhist Mindfulness practices. NVC can be lived as a Mindfulness Practice and consciousness that helps us be more present, open and loving to the flow of life within ourselves and in relation to others. Buddhist principles and practices can add depth and insight to NVC practice and consciousness.

The first session is available for all to listen to and enjoy.


Empathy vs. Sympathy

Introductory Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When we sympathize, we relate an aspect of someone’s story to ourselves. When we empathize, we reflect the feelings and needs of the other. Empathy helps people connect more deeply to their own and another’s pain, and helps resolve issues with clarity and ease. Notice when you're giving someone sympathy rather than empathy.

How To Interrupt Tragic Cycles That Prevent Collaboration

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 6 - 9 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 6 - 9 minutes
Interrupt cycles of conflict by creating a new ways forward. You can do this by connecting with the energy of the met needs you want in the dynamic; guessing the other person's needs; naming your needs; asking essential questions; identifying at least three different strategies to meet each need; and imagining the positive outcome.

Getting Conversations Back on Track

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
What can you do to move towards connection when you you sense reactivity, defense, withdrawal or conflict arising? You can make a connection request, check the congruence between your body language and your words, and get curious about the impact of your actions. When you've tried everything you could also acknowledge that something is off, and choose to come back together when both parties have had time to reflect. Read on for more.

Making Demands

Introductory Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
When we ask something of a person and threaten negative repercussions if she doesn’t comply, we're making a demand. Demands limit the possible responses and reduce joyful participation. Instead, look to find mutually satisfying resolutions. And look for ways to change your demand into a request. Read on for more.

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