NVC Library

Interdependence vs. Dependence/Independence

Intermediate Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer tip: NVC consciousness recognizes interdependence. In this process each person is autonomous; everyone's needs matter; people have choice and responsibility for their actions; there's abundance, and a valuing of coming together. The dependence / independence paradigm assumes we either need someone else to be whole -- or we don’t need others at all. Commit to living autonomously. Notice where you struggle with this.

Finding Agency and Seeing Shame

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 3-5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 3-5 minutes
The ability to identify your needs and take effective action to meet them is one way to define agency. Access to agency is complex and varies widely from person to person. Access to agency depends upon a variety of conditions. For example, if you struggle with agency, shame may tell you that you're broken in some way. If agency comes easily in an area, then you may view others who struggle with it, as lazy or stubborn. Read on for more.

Taking Responsibility for Meeting Our Needs

Beginner Skill Levels • Trainer Tip • Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
Beginner Skill Levels
Trainer Tip
Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
This trainer tip suggests ways to transform blame in to personal power. He suggests having multiple sources of support and multiple pathways to achieving the outcome you want, to allow more room to hear a "no". Read on for more.

Written Check-in and Self Connection Exercise

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read Time: 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read Time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Tap into feelings, needs and requests for greater self connection with the six steps in this worksheet.

Distinguishing Life-Serving Boundaries From Requests

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 3-5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 3-5 minutes
For effective dialogue clarify your needs, boundaries, and requests beforehand. Setting boundaries is telling someone what you're going to do in order to meet or protect needs for yourself or others. Whereas with requests, even if you have preferences, you still hold open curiosity about strategies to collaborate with others in meeting needs. Read on for more.

Connecting with Ourselves: An NVC Foundation for Inner Trust and Freedom

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
True inner freedom arises from self-connection. Without self-connection, we're mostly acting from habits, and those habits do not necessarily attend to our own needs. Here's a practice you can explore in your daily life to deepen your relationship with yourself, and experience true choice and inner freedom.

How To Listen and Find Aliveness in Containment

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 5-9 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5-9 minutes
Physical distancing is opportunity to creatively to meet your needs in new ways. In this containment, with very few cues from others and the environment you now have a rare opportunity with less external distraction to rethink what's truly supportive -- and make significant changes to the less noticable habits of mind, standards and "should's". Applying questions and noticing certain symptoms can support. Read on for more.

Privilege Literacy: Why we Need to Know About the Effects of Power, Privilege and Status to Live Nonviolently

All Skill Levels • Article • Read Time: 15 - 23 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read Time: 15 - 23 minutes
Our brains make patterns out of everything to save effort. But this has consequences on both how we treat others and on our ability to live nonviolently. The more we know about our own patterns, the more choice we have. Read on to learn our most important tendencies in groups, and what we can do in response.

Honor Your Need to be Heard

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 2-3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 2-3 minutes
When you want to be heard, first check if your listener is available. This honors yourself, and the other person’s choice about listening. You need to be clear about wanting a particular quality of listening, and that you are willing to wait if that isn’t available in the moment. Read on for how to ask for listening in a way that can build trust that your request isn't a demand.

Gender Through the Lens of IPNB plus Empathy

All Skill Levels • Article • Read Time: 4 - 6 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read Time: 4 - 6 minutes
Our pattern-making minds make predictions about how best to survive in the world. So deep wounds from our past can influence our minds to make life long generalizations that harden into core beliefs about groups of people. Read on for a demonstration of how empathy can shift these wounds and thus the core beliefs.

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