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New NVC Library
Learning Resources

New NVC Library
Learning Resources

Confronting with Care: An Approach that Builds Trust

Article  • 7 - 10 minutes • 11/2010
Beginner Skill Level
Article
7 - 10 minutes

People find confrontation inspirational when done with full compassion and intention to support. To do this, transform your own judgments or distress, come with useful content plus spot-on timing, and the best interests of the receiver in mind. Read on for questions you can ask yourself in preparation for this, and more.


I'll Work on Me, You Work on You

with Jim Manske
Article  • 5-8 minutes • 12/2017
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5-8 minutes

As a beginner in NVC, you might find your attempts to practice your NVC only increases conflict, disconnection and upset in your interactions with people.  Or perhaps people start seeing you as inauthentic. From there, you may find yourself sinking deeper into self-judgement. In this article, Jim Manske shows us how to shift these potential unintended outcomes, into deeper NVC consciousness that brings in more warmth, presence and open-hearted connection.


"I'm Not Good Enough" and Other Leadership Myths

Article  • 7-11 mins • 1/2010
All Skill Levels
Article
7-11 mins

Do you yearn to step forward in leadership, but know you're holding back? Clinical psychologist, organizational consultant, and speaker, Roxy Manning, PhD, shows us that more than external factors, its our internal beliefs and fears that provide the main barrier to moving forward.  She does this by taking us through three myths of leadership, and weaves in anecdotes to illustrate how tapping our unique (often lesser recognized) qualities, can be the way forward we've been seeking. Learn ways to move forward, even if at first it appears that (1.) others can "do it better", (2.) you need to be more prepared, or even if (3.) the material you're conveying isn't so original (and has been used many times).


The Value of Taking a Step Back

Article  • 6 - 9 minutes • 2002
Beginner Skill Level
Article
6 - 9 minutes

Have you ever gotten a fishing line all tangled up? You got so frustrated you just started yanking on the different loops of line, which of course made the knots and tangles even tighter and more difficult to untangle. Wouldn’t it be great if you could notice the minute you were starting to tangle things up in a discussion with your loved one?


The Power of Silent Empathy

Article  • 1 page • Circa 2007
Beginner Skill Level
Article
1 page

When Rita first learned about silent empathy she didn't know how soon she'd try it out. She was visiting her daughter and making comments about her life, analyzing her behavior, giving her unsolicited view on everything.


Where Do Jackal Voices Come From?

Article  • 6 - 9 minutes • 02/2010
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
6 - 9 minutes

The human brain is a conservative organ that comprises different systems with varying degrees of conscious awareness, which evolved in three basic stages of human history (the lizard-squirrel-monkey brain.) In my understanding, we could say, the brain has strong needs for understanding, order, predictability and meaning. In fact, one of its key functions is to process experiences, and predict what the world is like, in order to maximize survival.  CNVC Certified Trainer Stephanie Bachmann Mattei explores the biological basis of our inner jackal voices.


The Price of Nice

Article  • 12 - 16 minutes • 2000
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
12 - 16 minutes

Have you been nice? Well then you must be enjoying the reward: depression, intermittent explosiveness, job meaninglessness, ambiguous anxiety, low resentment and subtle self hate. The antidotes: honesty, passion and compassion.


Healing the Blame that Binds

Article  • 4 -6 minutes • 2000
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4 -6 minutes

Blame is the game that protects me from the understanding that the cause of all my emotional distress, fear, shame and guilt comes from the part of me I call "the inner voice." As long as I keep the big bony finger of blame pointed in your direction, I can remain unaware of the fact that it is what I am telling myself about your behavior that is stimulating my painful reactions. 


Moving From Blame to Self-Responsibility

Article  • 2 - 5 minutes • 2007
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
2 - 5 minutes

Often when someone else does something we don't like, it's easy to blame the other person. After all, we have all been trained to focus on fault when needs are not met. What can we do to shift that pattern?


How to Enjoy Your Family Dinner

Audio  • 49 minutes • 12/16/2013
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
49 minutes

If you dread family gatherings because of family tensions, you can find ways to excavate through piles of hardened judgments and hopelessness, build on your inner strength, and engage with family conflicts with open-hearted curiosity, greater presence, and connecting with what really matters to everyone.


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