NVC Library

Understanding and Healing from Bullying, Giving and Receiving

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read Time: 6 - 9 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read Time: 6 - 9 minutes
When bullying occurs, if we do our own healing, our brains can become more sharp and present and willing to take action to connect and to begin to shift and mitigate the harm that trauma does in our world. We can reduce trauma inflicted upon others when we recognize the patterns of abuse and bullying, hold zero tolerance for it, bring in support for both sides of the conflict, and take action to effect systemic change. Read on for more.

Abusive Relationships and Nonviolence

Intermediate Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 8 - 12 minutes
Intermediate Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 8 - 12 minutes
In order to bring in more nonviolence into the world, we need to take our own needs seriously and recognize that no amount of seeing someone’s innocence would mean putting up with more of their harmful behavior. We need to disentangle compassion towards another from the willingness to tolerate more harmful actions. At times this means finding enough self-love, support, or clarity, to take decisive action. Read on for more.

Heartbreak For Self And The World Holding Our Broken Hearts With Compassion

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read Time: 3 - 5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read Time: 3 - 5 minutes
When we're received with resonant understanding painful moments can lessen their charge and became part of the whole tapestry of life -- important but no longer able to hijack us into the eternal re-run of pain. When held this way, we can touch the memories with our attention the way one touches a newly repaired tooth with the tongue, searching for the old roughness, the old wound, but not finding it.

Setting Boundaries with Attraction

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 3-5 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 3-5 minutes
Attraction to others is neither good nor bad. Although it's pleasurable it doesn’t necessarily help with wise discernment. When it arises, it's up to you to engage in wise discernment about how you manage it. This guide provides practices and points of focus to engage your own attraction in a way that holds more choice about what will meet needs for yourself and others, and what role attraction plays.

Change Is Afoot: A New Paradigm For First Responses After Difficult Events

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read Time: 9 - 14 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read Time: 9 - 14 minutes
One way to understand trauma is it means we got a blow greater than our nervous system can tolerate – then we move into hyperarousal, and then hypoarousal or dissociation. This cycle can continue long after. Here, we're not able to fully process emotional cues, information, our body, and others. It's important we consider re-writing the cultural paradigm of separation so that our trauma doesn't get marginalized.

Intention and Effect

Advanced Skill Level • Article • Read time: 12 - 18 minutes
Advanced Skill Level
Article
Read time: 12 - 18 minutes
When someone expresses upset about our actions, and we focus on our intention being seen and understood (e.g. "I didn’t mean to hurt you”) it doesn't support the speaker in being heard more deeply with care. Here we'll explore this dynamic in a way that supports more clarity and the possibility of greater personal liberation. Read on for more.

Setting Boundaries with Reactivity

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 4-6 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4-6 minutes
Tolerating reactivity, name-calling, blaming, guilt-tripping, or stonewalling can lead to resentment and hurt. Plus, the more you stay in a reactive dynamic, the more you are likely to reinforce the pattern. Setting life-serving boundaries arund reactivity is about letting another know that you aren’t going to participate in that kinds of dynamics. This means knowing what helps with handling difficulties and asking for that.

Empathic, Powerful Responses To COVID-19 Inequities

Advanced Skill Level • Article • Read time: 15 - 23 minutes
Advanced Skill Level
Article
Read time: 15 - 23 minutes
The existing unequal risks and impacts people of certain race, class and identities face in society is magnified in these strenuous times -- especially with things such as illness, financial well being, discrimination, attacks, and death. As responsive NVC practitioners we can stand in solidarity with those who are differentially impacted. Read on for this, and additional ways to spot common pitfalls of doing so.

Why Can't People Just Live Peacefully With Each Other?

Intermediate Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 8 - 12 minutes
Intermediate Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 8 - 12 minutes
Perhaps human violence persists because we believe that violence is inevitable and there's nothing we can do about it -— even though there is notable evidence that this is likely not true. Read on for some research and theory on how cultures evolve to be collaborative or violent. Plus, learn benefits of collaboration and downsides to force, punishment, and control. These provide implications for how we might move towards a culture of more peace.

Awareness of Marginalization Can Support Connection

Intermediate Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 7 - 11 minutes
Intermediate Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 7 - 11 minutes
With abundant evidence that most people have unconscious biases against people --even when that bias runs counter to their own values-- there's a strong chance you recreate this disconnect with people far more often than you recognize. So even with a high degree of NVC skills you may behave in a way that seems "NVC" but also reproduces the painful patterns that marginalized people all-too-often experience. Read on for ways to transform pitfalls of NVC into more reliable connection.

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