NVC Library

Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Important Conversations

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
What's my intention? What needs am I trying to meet? What do I want the other person to know or understand? How can I say it in a way they are most likely to hear? These are four questions we can use in preparation for an important conversation. Read on for more on this, plus four accompanying practices.

Transformative Dialogue

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • N/A
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
N/A
The less blame and criticism, the easier it is for others to hear us. From this perspective, it’s in our best interest to come from curiosity and care. This way differences can bring us together and help us know one another. The more mutual understanding, the easier it is to work together and find creative solutions. Read on for more on this, with a story about how a black man inspired 200 members of the KKK to leave the organization.

Moving Beyond Needs as Met or Unmet

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Sometimes when we regard needs as something that could be met or unmet by another person or by a situation we unconsciously hold the belief that our needs should be met. Or we end up holding blame or implying wrongdoing. People are more likely to resist a request made from this stance. Instead, here are practices to increasingly losen any remaining attachment or demand energy -- and open our hearts to ourselves and others while we make requests.

Finding Security in the Face of Fear

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 4-6 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 4-6 minutes
In pandemic we can notice where we seek security. For some, financial systems that seemed to offer security have suddenly become unpredictable. For others, living without such privilege, resources are even more difficult to access. And we become more vulnerable to illness and death. These changes can trigger fear, but also motivate choices that contribute to a sense of security. Read on for more.

Self Responsibility

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 6 - 9 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 6 - 9 minutes
Being self-responsible is about empowerment — via noticing what is potentially in our locus of control, getting to know ourselves better, looking at our own role in how we experience life, and making conscious choices to act within our own power. This requires us to be mindful in relating our stories to our needs. Read on for more on this, and the various pifalls within thinking about self responsibility.

How to Set Boundaries Early and Often

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 5-8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5-8 minutes
Using the example of being met with chronic lateness, here are three steps to setting boundaries early in a dating situation or relationship.

Paying Attention In Troubled Times

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Our world is facing stressful times. And the more stress you experience, the less resourced you can become. But consider that you're not messed up, but rather, the challenges you bear is a response to manufactured environments and culture that are more hostile than they are kind towards our human souls and bodies. Cultural repair must be part of our work if we are going to attend to the whole.

How to Stay Calm During a Pandemic

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 5-8 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 5-8 minutes
As social beings we thrive with social contact and community. Thus, with the social isolation and a loss of routine that happens in a pandemic, there are three critical areas to keep in mind everyday: emotional-physiological regulation, self-empathy for fear and anxiety, and meaningful engagement. Read on for more.

How to Find Strength During a Crisis

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
During a crisis we can draw upon inner and outer resources: gratitude, awareness of our senses and breath, plus compassion for self and others. We can also expand our understanding to curtail fear -- and limit the amount of time and energy we spend fighting and resisting the truth of what’s happening.

Cultivating Gratitude

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read Time: 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read Time: 1-2 minutes
Here's a five-step 30 day practice to cultivate gratitude, using the practice of observations, needs, feelings, presence, vitality, awareness of contribution, sharing power and interdependence.

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