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In the Spotlight: Self Empathy


"NVC's most important use may be in developing self-compassion."
– Marshall Rosenberg, PhD

"Developing a consistent Self-empathy practice is the single most healing thing I've ever done for myself. It has allowed me to heal old, negative beliefs that used to sabotage my ability to enjoy intimate and loving relationships, and to uncover and express the greater Truth of me. Every relationship, friendship, and interaction with others has benefitted as a result."
– Mary Mackenzie

"When we make mistakes, instead of getting caugtht up in moralistic self-judgments, we can use the process of NVC mourning and self-forgiveness to show us where we can grow. By assessing our behaviors in terms of our own unmet needs, the impetus for change comes not out of shame, guilty anger or depression, but out of the genuine desire to contribute to our own and others' well-being."
– Marshall Rosenberg, PhD

Expand your needs vocabulary, and build your capacity to identify needs — even when you’ve been triggered. Check out Mary’s powerful teaching on Self-Empathy, just below.

Mourning Our Way to Acceptance

Article  • 7 - 11 minutes • 04/2013
Beginner Skill Level
Article
7 - 11 minutes

When something happens that we don't like no amount of resentment nor magical thinking will make it disappear. Instead, we can mourn to dissolve our own resistance, resentment, and numbness of resignation. Mourning can allow us to feel pain with acceptance, and without needing to be okay with what happened. Acceptance can bring us to a place where even all the anguish in the world is fully, part of life.


Pain Lasers and Love Lasers

Article  • 5 - 7 minutes • 8/2016
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 7 minutes

In lasers, light bounces between the mirrors, with each pass the light grows more intense. Our minds work similarly. Because of the "mirror" effect, where we can react to our reactions to our reactions to our reactions (and so on), changing our thought pattern even modestly at every level of reaction, can dramatically affect our ultimate experience.  Usually the greatest amplifiers are the ones we notice the least.  Learn what to notice -- to amplify more love rather than pain.


The Freedom of Committing to a Path

Article  • 5 - 8 minutes • 02/03/2012
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

In June, 1996, I had an epiphany. In a motel room in Indiana, the night before returning home from a solo camping trip in Michigan and Canada, I discovered how much I had lost in my life because of so fiercely protecting myself. Up until that day, bringing forth my vulnerable self was to be avoided at all costs, which kept me numb much of the time, disconnected from myself and from much of life. Alone in my room, I cried, I talked out loud, and I finally exclaimed to myself that I wanted to reclaim every last bit of my vulnerability, just like I had it as a child.


Dealing With Disappointment

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 12/4/2021
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

Disappointment emerges when there is a gap between what we want, expect or hope for, and what is happening. When this occurs it can be tempting to make someone or the situation wrong. Instead, rather than pushing against the flow of life we can rejoin it, non-judgmentally notice our observations and feelings. Plus we can nurture acceptance and mourning. We can also remember that what's happening isn't permanent.


Recovering from Reactivity

Audio  • 30 minutes • 06/2010
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
30 minutes

Join CNVC Certified Trainers Jim and Jori Manske for this session that will help you minimize your reactivity and live in greater choice.


Healing and Reconciliation (7 Session Course)

Audio  • 7 - 9 hours • 01/20/2015
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
7 - 9 hours

Old emotional hurts and pains can easily erupt when you’re in the throes of conflict – even if you’re the mediator. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could avoid all of that, and instead create more peace and happiness for yourself, your family, your co-workers and your community?


Life Force and the Spirituality of Human Needs (6 Session Course)

Audio  • 6 - 9 hours • 10/9/2013
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
6 - 9 hours

Your needs and your values are your Life Force: the river that flows through your spirit and your life, giving life and light to your being. Explore this river with Robert, and map out routes that support your growth. Gain a deeper understadning and acceptance of the spirituality and beauty of needs and values.


Diving Deeper Into the Spiral of Life (6 Session Course)

Audio  • 6 hours, 2 minutes • 01/2014
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
6 hours, 2 minutes

We invite you to dive into this voyage, where you and Robert will swim ever deeper into the Spiral of Life, coming face-to-face with your divine Life Force – that essential living energy that permeates all.


Three Necessities for Integrating NVC

Audio  • 1 hour, 11 minutes • 02/27/2017
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
1 hour, 11 minutes

Inspired by a talk given by Marshall Rosenberg, Jim offers an interactive exploration of powerful strategies for making NVC an integral part of your everyday life.


From Suffering to Aliveness: Not Fighting Reality

Audio  • 26 minutes • 08/16/2014
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
26 minutes

How we relate to life parallels how we relate to others! Learn how to have a more healthy way of relating to situations and people when your needs are not being met. Bob Wentworth offers some wisdom on moving from suffering to aliveness through not fighting what is.


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