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Learning Resources

New NVC Library
Learning Resources

New NVC Library
Learning Resources

Understanding and Transforming Anger

Article  • 6 - 9 minutes • 01/2021
Beginner Skill Level
Article
6 - 9 minutes

Anger can alert us that a need may be threatened. When anger lives in someone as a well-worn habit, it arises from a place of dissociation from one’s heart and is entangled with misinterpretations, a deep sense of threat, a history of pain, and social conditioning that isn’t life-serving. Read on for how intention, mindfulness, and specific actions can change that habit.


Intimacy With Fear

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 05/2014
All Skill Levels
Article
3 - 5 minutes

If we befriend our fear we cannot be paralyzed by it. Every fear that arises is a moment to increase our capacity. Fear is connected to something that is precious to us. We also can see what we do to numb our pain and how we try to avoid it. This knowledge can help us to choose healthier strategies to deal with our fears.


What Does It Mean To Be Sensitive, Not Reactive?

Article  • 2-3 minutes • 07/2020
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
2-3 minutes

Reactivity is the misperception of threat coupled with lack of access to compassion and wisdom. Sensitivity is an ability to deeply perceive data, plus consciously attend to and attune to data, as it comes through the five senses. It can be a gift. If you lack the skill to care for any of your sensitivity-overwhelm by setting boundaries, you may develop reactive habits, like suddenly withdrawing or lashing out in order to get relief.


Self Responsibility

Article  • 6 - 9 minutes • 12/2011
Beginner Skill Level
Article
6 - 9 minutes

Being self-responsible is about empowerment — via noticing what is potentially in our locus of control, getting to know ourselves better, looking at our own role in how we experience life, and making conscious choices to act within our own power. This requires us to be mindful in relating our stories to our needs. Read on for more on this, and the various pifalls within thinking about self responsibility.


Empathy Buddy Guidelines

Article  • 2 - 3 minutes • 1/2010
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2 - 3 minutes

Here are some guidelines and agreements for creating empathy buddy sessions. Includes a list of blocks to empathy.


Practicing Non-Reactivity

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 3/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

For this practice assume that reactivity is arising any time you are distracted and not enjoying something. Practice throughout the day by focusing your attention for a few moments on something specific that you find pleasing. Notice the sensation of joy or pleasure in your body, and hold attention there longer than usual. This interrupts tension and contraction. Keep remembering to do this. When you go too long without directing your attention in this way, the practice becomes less accessible.


Inviting Depth in Conversation

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 6/2018
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

Conversation can become more satisfying with depth. Depth is occurs when connection unfolds towards a depth of intimacy, presence, attunement, sensing -- and silent attentive connection where another is attentively seen and heard. Inviting this level of sharing in conversation relies on at least three major elements: attentive silence, the desire to connect and be known, and focus on present moment experience. Learn more about this way of engaging.


Using an Anchor in Self-Empathy

Article  • 5 - 8 minutes • 4/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

An anchor awakens parts of you that can access a bigger perspective. Also, it can reduce your reactivity, increase conscious relating, and support self-compassion. An anchor helps you get a little bit bigger than the reactivity you are experiencing so that you can access a wiser discernment. It is simple, and can be done anytime and anywhere. Learn to direct your attention to develop your anchor in self-empathy.


The Three Most Common Pitfalls in Nonviolent Communication

Article  • 5 - 8 minutes • 06/2017
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.


The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions

Article  • 4 - 6 minutes • 4/2014
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection.  The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc).  Once we let the map drop away, we can engage with the people in our lives in a more heartfelt way.  This article explains more about how we can use the map to remind us of our  heartfelt consciousness...


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