NVC Library

Mourning Our Way to Acceptance

Article • Read time: 7 - 11 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 7 - 11 minutes
When something happens that we don't like no amount of resentment nor magical thinking will make it disappear. Instead, we can mourn to dissolve our own resistance, resentment, and numbness of resignation. Mourning can allow us to feel pain with acceptance, and without needing to be okay with what happened. Acceptance can bring us to a place where even all the anguish in the world is fully, part of life.

Cradle of Compassion (Connecting with Request Energy)

Trainer Tip • Read Time: 3-5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read Time: 3-5 minutes
Here are two practices for connecting with "request energy". One of them helps us practice in the moment (7 steps). The other one helps us connect to ourselves (11 steps).

Emergency Interventions for Escalating Arguments

Article • Read time: 2-3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 2-3 minutes
Mid-conversation you may find yourself sliding into defending, shutting down, attacking, or blaming. Here's a list of possible emergency interventions that can help slow down escalation and return you to connection.

Stopping: Practicing Awareness of Thinking

Trainer Tip • Read Time: 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read Time: 1-2 minutes
Here's a practice for cultivating more awareness of our thinking and choices, when our feelings and thoughts become stimulated.

Nothing but the Facts

Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: There's often a large gap between what we experience, and the story we make up about it. Noticing how our judgments and assumptions cloud our observations can be critical to creating a connection with others and maintaining a Nonviolent Communication consciousness.

10 Things White People Can Do to Work for Racial Justice

Article • Read time:7 - 11 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time:7 - 11 minutes
It’s essential to give ourselves time to grapple with the complex feelings surrounding the brutality of state-sanctioned racism and violence. But if all we do is reflect and attend to our emotions we fail to show up, where and when it counts. So let's not perpetuate the violence by standing idly. Instead, here's ten things you can do to move into concrete action to address the continued, untenable, and horrific violence of racism. A list of resources is included.

How can Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Be Helpful in These Transformative Times?

Article • Read time: 23 - 34 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 23 - 34 minutes
Amidst racial violence, there are things that NVC can offer. And there are places where NVC culture needs to be more vigilant. Here are examples of where, amidst incredible loss and pain, "allies" and communities commonly (and often unknowingly) create false equivalences, minimization and re-injure those who've been historically marginalized -- even when they offer empathy, or aim to stay "safe". Read on to cultivate greater understanding and ways to respond differently.

Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Important Conversations

Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
What's my intention? What needs am I trying to meet? What do I want the other person to know or understand? How can I say it in a way they are most likely to hear? These are four questions we can use in preparation for an important conversation. Read on for more on this, plus four accompanying practices.

Transformative Dialogue

Article • N/A
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
N/A
The less blame and criticism, the easier it is for others to hear us. From this perspective, it’s in our best interest to come from curiosity and care. This way differences can bring us together and help us know one another. The more mutual understanding, the easier it is to work together and find creative solutions. Read on for more on this, with a story about how a black man inspired 200 members of the KKK to leave the organization.

Moving Beyond Needs as Met or Unmet

Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Sometimes when we regard needs as something that could be met or unmet by another person or by a situation we unconsciously hold the belief that our needs should be met. Or we end up holding blame or implying wrongdoing. People are more likely to resist a request made from this stance. Instead, here are practices to increasingly losen any remaining attachment or demand energy -- and open our hearts to ourselves and others while we make requests.

 
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