NVC Multimedia Library

We Don’t Need to Fix Other People

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: The very process of giving someone space to talk about their issue without our judgment, to be truly understood by us, and to be deeply heard is very healing, enough so that most people will organically find their own creative ways to resolve their issues. Rely on this process and you will lose all desire to fix people’s problems. Try this out today.
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Releasing Our Judgments

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: It's impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. If we're willing to shift this behavior we can translate our judgments into acknowledging how something affects us. Once I got into the habit of this, my judgments began to subside dramatically. It became easy to love people and feel compassion for them, and I experienced a freedom I had never known before.
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NVC Life Hacks 8 : Saying No

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Video  •  00:03 hours:minutes
It can be difficult to be authentic when that means saying no. So how do we say no in a way that invites people to listen? Here are our four top tips for finding the courage to say no.
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Finding Courage

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 2 - 4 minutes
Telling yourself to be a certain way or have more of a certain quality (like courage), is a set-up for self-criticism and possibly freezing or avoiding. Instead, access effective action by asking yourself questions like: "If I could be or have that, what actions would be different inside or out?" "If I could be or have that, what needs would be met and knowing those are the needs, what could I do or ask for that would meet those needs?"
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Making Sure We Are Heard

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: We all see through our own filters. To disentangle what we hear from some is really saying, check using understanding requests at the level of detail you need. Course correct along the way. In a charged situation this can be critical to bringing in clarity, being heard and resolving differences amicably.
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Inviting Depth in Conversation

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
Conversation can become more satisfying with depth. Depth is occurs when connection unfolds towards a depth of intimacy, presence, attunement, sensing -- and silent connection where another is attentively seen and heard. Inviting this level of sharing in conversation relies on at least three major elements: attentive silence, the desire to connect and be known, and focus on present moment experience. Learn more about this way of engaging.
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Noticing What Is Important

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Trainer Tip  •  Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Where do you focus most of your life? Are there areas that you could reassess? Are you happy? Engage a new paradigm shift in your life.
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Building Trust

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Intermediate Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
How is trust best supported? Do you know what you do to contribute to making it easier or more difficult for others to express the truth (even in the most mundane moments)? Smaller requests can also built trust over time if they're rooted in the present moment, and are specific enough. Learn more about building trust...
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Privacy vs. Secrecy & Boundaries

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Intermediate Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
What's the real reason you choose to talk about something or not? "Privacy" can become a misplaced label that's used to hide harmful behaviour. Secrets typically come from reactivity -- and can carry shame, fear or threat of harm, and take a toll. And yet, if something private gets mislabeled as a "secret" it can also trigger shame and fear. The key to all this may be in relating to privacy from a place of clear differentiation, boundaries, agency, care and discernment.
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Pain Lasers and Love Lasers

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Beginner Skill Level  •  Article  •  Read time: 5 - 7 minutes

In lasers, light bounces between the mirrors, with each pass the light grows more intense. Our minds work similarly. Because of the "mirror" effect, where we can react to our reactions to our reactions to our reactions (and so on), changing our thought pattern even modestly at every level of reaction, can dramatically affect our ultimate experience.  Usually the greatest amplifiers are the ones we notice the least.  Learn what to notice -- to amplify more love rather than pain.

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Connection Central: Nonviolent Communication Articles (NVC)
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