NVC Multimedia Library

Creating an Internal Secure Base

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
We each hold an internal model or set of expectations about how caring and comfort could be accessed in relationship. The ability to reflect upon and challenge our own dominant model of perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors --and to experience discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and belief that love, and acceptance can't be trusted nor accessed reliably. Thus change would require intensive support. Here's a guide to help you reflect and access change.

Asking to be Known

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 7 - 12 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 7 - 12 minutes
There are various ways to be known. Learn how to engage and make clear requests accordingly. This includes getting clear in yourself about what exactly you want known; communicating how important it is to you; sharing examples in your life of being known; requesting and negotiating from the energy of the met need; letting the other person know whether or not the relationship is really sustainable for you if the need goes unmet long-term; and checking the other person's capacity.

Secure Differentiation

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Differentiation is being who you are in the presence of who they are. Its a process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. If you're happier when you are not in an intimate relationship you may have developed your individuality but likely have difficulty with differentiation. Learn core skills and behaviors that support differentiation.

Facilitate Change: Using NVC to Create Social Change

Intermediate Skill Level • Audio • 00:51 hours:minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
00:51 hours:minutes

Listen to this newly remastered audio with seasoned Life Coach and CNVC Certified Trainers Martha Lasley and Dian Killian, to explore how you can "be the change" in your life, to live fully in integrity with your values in your work, community, faith and social action groups.

The introductory session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy:


Loving Our Role as Parent

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When we love a child there's a contribution we can provide in helping them go their own way successfully, in big ways and small.

Mediating Conflict Conversations with Observation, Feeling, Need, and Request

Intermediate Skill Level • Audio • 00:44 hours:minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
00:44 hours:minutes

Mediating a conflict conversation can be challenging – but with tools and practice, that challenge can be transformed. If you're curious about the specific steps needed to achieve that transformation, join John for an exploration of his non-dual mindfulness practice.


Nonviolence in the Face of Hatred

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 14 - 21 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 14 - 21 minutes
When Anita's sister reveals that the Ku Klux Klan broke into her home and dragged her out into a field towards a burning cross, Anita's commitment to nonviolence is challenged. Here, Miki highlights practices and lessons from her story of inner struggle -- including an insight about how, even in extreme polarization, our freedom and healing is wrapped up in others' freedom and healing.

Attending to Inner Conflict

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 13 - 19 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 13 - 19 minutes
When we have an inner conflict, how can we bring ourselves closer where we want to be? Miki explains about how we can deepen our self understanding in a way that can transform our own reactivity, urges, and false either/or views -- so that we can bring in more presence, choice, and options.

How Do I Love Those Who Hate Me?

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 6 - 9 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 6 - 9 minutes
There are times when someone judges us, or meets us with prejudice, and its easier for us to respond by hating them, or judging ourselves as not good enough. How can we love another person instead without excusing their actions? Roxy tells us her story with wonderment, grief and mourning.

Empathy Magic

Intermediate Skill Level • Video • 00:45 hours:minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Video
00:45 hours:minutes

Empathy guessing when I was new to NVC seemed magical and mysterious. How could that other person have known that about me? And seen inside me — often in ways I'd missed myself. While empathy is both intuitive and an art, there is also a science to it. In this brief yet fascinating introduction to Dian's course, Empathy Magic, you'll learn a super-practical way to demystify empathy guessing by making use of the root meaning of words.


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