Trainer Tip: One of the swiftest ways to close our hearts is having judgmental thinking or looking to get our way. How open are you when you’re in this mode? The goal in peaceful living is to approach our relationships with an open heart. Start conversations today with an intention to connect with other people.

Struggling to say "no"? Here are ways you change your adjacent mind patterns. First, note the differences between those who respect boundaries and those who often don't. Second, review situations in which you lost track of your choice. And rehearse what it would sound, look, and feel like if you kept connection to your choice. Third, seek validation of your experience - from a grounded and mindful (non-reactive) state.

Awareness of how we're holding our own and others' needs is important to our development. In learning to value needs, we often go through three stages: passive, aggressive/obnoxious, and assertive/mutual. As we learn and grow, we may relate to the following differently: Whose feelings and needs are important, who is responsible for what, how our choices impact others, and consideration for ourselves and others.

Notice situations where you're attending to another and giving up on your needs with resentment or a sense of submitting. You can also watch for “shoulds,” obligation, and black-and-white thinking around the support you offer. Is there a sense that if you don't carry out a particular action something bad will happen? If so, identify the needs at hand and brainstorm a variety of strategies to meet them.

Notice when you start to defend. Is your body tensing up? Feeling desperate for the other to understand you or your intentions? Find yourself explaining your behavior, giving all the good reasons why you did what you did? Trying to convince the other of your good intentions? If so, ask yourself: “Is this what I want to be doing right now? Is this really helping?” then practice one of these eight options.

Healthy differentiation is key to personal growth, learning and thriving relationships. When healthy differentiation is present, you can discern what's true for you and what you are and aren't responsible for in an interaction, and can be fully who you are in the presence of others. There are a number of ways you can become aware of and cultivate healthy differentiation. Let’s look at two here: self-connection and autonomy.

How can you work together with your children to solve problems? In this video, Lisa shares a story about the challenges of navigating schooling on zoom and keeping her child’s creativity and interest alive. By inviting your children into the solution space and giving them the freedom to be themselves, you provide the capacity for trust so that you can solve the problem together and in a way that is tailored to their strengths. 

• Clarify and accentuate your personal teaching style
• Build a strong NVC network and support system
• Learn how to balance everyone’s needs – yours included
• Expand your capacity for living in NVC consciousness

What can you do to increase your capacity to trust? How can you channel energy toward togetherness rather than towards mistrusting people? In this video, Miki opens an inquiry about trust in life, trusting the way that life unfolds, trusting that life will take care of itself. Sufficient consistent togetherness is the primary optimal condition needed to transform the groove of mistrust and create a different way of being in life.