Trainer Tip: Notice an opportunity today to use honesty as a means to connect with someone else. Consider what type of honesty might stimulate pain in others. Trainer Tip "My whole goal is to keep my spirit intact. If thatdoesn’t happen, none of this is worth it" —Jewel Kilcher Not long ago, I was sitting in church listening to the choir. One of the gentlemen in the choir stepped up to the mike to sing a brief solo. He sang off key sometimes and his voice shook. I thought he was very nervous. I wondered, should I tell him that he sang off key? It would have been honest—at least from my perspective. Instead, I told him that I admired his courage in doing something he enjoyed so much, and that his courage helped me muster the strength to sing in public as well. This also was an honest statement. He teared up a bit and told me that he sang so beautifully when he was alone, and that he was really trying to free his voice in front of other people. We both gained an expanded appreciation for each other, and I walked away feeling gratitude that my church community offered such opportunities to its members. Talking with my church friend in this way met many needs for me: honesty, connection, consideration, respect, and learning. And it helped me remember that honesty is an important tool that can be used to connect, rather than stimulate pain in others. Notice the opportunities you have today to use honesty as a means to connect with someone else. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press. All NVC Marketplace Products with Mary Mackenzie
