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NVC Resources on Shame



From Obedience and Shame to Freedom and Belonging: Transforming Patriarchal Paradigms of Child-Rearing in the Age of Global Warming

Article • 33 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
33 pages
What will it take to reclaim our fundamental relatedness with all things alive, surrender our attempts to control nature, and find a way of living that averts or mitigates the worst possible catastrophes awaiting us while it's still possible?

Dialogues with Our Shame

Video • 45 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Video
45 minutes
During this session, Giorgos will walk you through a series of short, meditative practices and exercises designed to help you practice noticing, experiencing, and bringing shame to light — transforming it from a burden to a playful fellow as well as a portal to self-knowledge and internal freedom. You'll discover how the deep power of human connectedness can dilute the fogginess of sensitive...

Finding Agency and Seeing Shame

Article • Read time: 3-5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 3-5 minutes
The ability to identify your needs and take effective action to meet them is one way to define agency. Access to agency is complex and varies widely from person to person. Access to agency depends upon a variety of conditions. For example, if you struggle with agency, shame may tell you that you're broken in some way. If agency comes easily in an area, then you may view others who struggle with...

Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Every time you criticize yourself, you cause yourself to feel shame and guilt, which promotes depression and stagnation. Instead, bringing in more self compassion can increase opportunities for change. Do this by acknowledging your needs (or values) that aren’t met by your actions. Read on for how to do this.

Privacy vs. Secrecy & Boundaries

Article • Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
What's the real reason you choose to talk about something or not? "Privacy" can become a misplaced label that's used to hide harmful behaviour. Secrets typically come from reactivity -- and can carry shame, fear or threat of harm, and take a toll. And yet, if something private gets mislabeled as a "secret" it can also trigger shame and fear. The key to all this may be in relating to privacy from...

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 11. Catching Hearts

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
When we take a leap in life and put our hearts out into the world in new or bigger ways—sharing a song, dance, or poem, writing a book, competing at a sporting event, giving a speech, and so on—there is greater potential for aliveness but also for shame and pain

Finding Worthiness and Belonging

Article • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Worthlessness and shame are linked to the idea of not belonging or being unworthy of belonging -- that is, a deep sense of belonging to life, to your sense of self, and to our earth. Compensatory strategies to win worthiness and belonging arise from here and effectively block the very thing it is pursuing. Transformation occurs when there is a critical mass of clarity about the harm of a...

Moving from Fault to Cause: Looking for Systemic Solutions to White Supremacy

Article • Read time: 13 - 19 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 13 - 19 minutes
We can see throughout many examples in history that when we look for "who" is at fault, and thereby seek social change through shaming that person (or that group), it tends to lead to disastrous long term consequences. Even if it works in the short term. Instead, if we want to end cycles of violence we can seek to understand systemic causes and context of individuals' behaviour. And from there,...

The Power of Authenticity + Care

Article • Read time: 9 - 13 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 9 - 13 minutes
When we're on the receiving end of pain-stimulating assumptions, a microaggression, or prejudice --when we're reactive and resultingly have self-doubt, guilt or shame in ourselves-- is it possible to be intensely authentic while holding care for everyone in the situation? Can we effectively do this even as a third party witnesses to these things?

Can We Un-Skew Resource Distribution?

Article • Read time: 14 - 21 minutes
Advanced Skill Level
Article
Read time: 14 - 21 minutes
In learning how to re-invent the economic system so that it distributes resources in a way that includes as many people's needs as possible, we would need to be in a process of mutual influence with one another. However, addressing resource distribution can be complex when people in different social locations have 1.)a different sense of what's considered "enough" 2.) different capacities to...

What is the Shadow?

Article • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
What parts of yourself or others are hard to embrace, understand or even notice? What parts do others have difficulty embracing, understanding or noticing? Why do we condemn, loathe, hate, deny, judge, blame or feel shame around certain needs, feelings and parts of self and/or others? This article talks about the hidden parts of ourselves and others that shapes views and behaviours.

Embracing Your Emotions: Honoring the Wisdom of BIG Emotions (Complete Course)

Audio • 3 - 4 hours
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
3 - 4 hours
Listen to this short 3 session telecourse recording with CNVC Certified Trainer Christine King, and you will learn how to honor the wisdom that your anger, fear, shame and other BIG emotions have for you. The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.

Transforming Power Relations: The Invisible Revolution

Article • 9 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
9 pages
Miki explains how teachers and administrators can become more effective in relating to themselves, other faculty and staff, and they can contribute more to students' ability to feel connected and energized. Nonviolent Communication provides specific tools to empower ourselves and others to live more in line with our values and deeper needs.

Dealing with Loss: Coming Back to Life (Complete Course)

Audio • 2 hours, 55 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
2 hours, 55 minutes
This gentle, healing telecourse recording will assist you in unearthing feelings and issues that have become tangled up with loss, enabling you to face whatever is blocking your grief. The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.

 
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