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NVC Resources on Needs



Going Deep: Understanding Your Own and Others’ Deeper Motivations

with Alan Seid
Practice Exercise • n/a
Intermediate Skill Level
Practice Exercise
n/a
One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan's exercise called "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling.

Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

with Inbal Kashtan and Miki Kashtan
Learning Tool • 3 pages
Introductory Skill Level
Learning Tool
3 pages
NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 12. Connect to the Living Energy of Your Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
For many, the word “need” is associated with lack, neediness, and scarcity. These associations are the opposite of the meaning of needs in Nonviolent Communication (NVC). In NVC, needs are the motivational energy of our innate wholeness and desire to grow, like the energy of a plant pushing it up through the soil and toward the sun.

Viewing Needs Through an Equity Lens

Article • 4 - 6 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes
"All humans share the same needs" -- tragically, this idea can hide the reality that some people with less power in society have needs that go unmet to a greater extent, much longer, and with more dire consequences. Often, when the marginalized bring up experiences related to their membership in a certain group, their pain isn't acknowledged, and focus shifts to the listener's discomfort. The...

The Needs Underneath a Need for “Fairness”

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes
Advanced Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
Ask the Trainer: "I'm practicing with 'transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need.' In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with 'fairness.' However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath 'fairness.'"

Needs, the Third Component of Compassionate Communication

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: In Compassionate Communication, we consider needs to be universal. That means that while we all have the same needs, such as for love, support, shelter, food, joy, caring, etc., we choose different ways to meet our needs.

Connection Requests: Motivations and Examples Article

with Inbal Kashtan and Miki Kashtan
Article • 6 - 9 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
6 - 9 minutes
Connection requests focus on the quality of connection between people instead of on any particular strategy or solution. While the core motivation for a connection request may be connection with the other person, varied internal states and needs may help guide us toward different types of connection requests. Self-connection and understanding of our motivation in making a connection request can...

A Talk About Needs

Audio • 10 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
10 minutes
Listen to this audio to learn the value of focusing on needs in an NVC model, either for the first time or as a refresher course. Living from a needs-consciousness creates abundance, clarity and choice. Using three examples from participants, Mary guides the group towards identifying and then connecting with the needs of both parties involved in each situation. It becomes clear very quickly...

Marshall Rosenberg's Vision of Social Change

Article • 12 - 18 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
12 - 18 minutes
What could be, more often than not, overlooked when we think about or represent NVC or Marshall Rosenberg's work? This article busts some commonly held ideas and approaches to NVC. It challenges us to widen the lens of what it really means to be "life-serving", or speaking and hearing the "language of life". And it also speaks to how thinking can deepen feeling and relatedness...

What is Nonviolent Communication?

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at...

Introduction to the Living Energy of Needs

with Susan Skye
Audio • 1 hour, 5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
1 hour, 5 minutes
Join Susan Skye in this hour-long audio recording to learn how to experience the NVC consciousness as an embodied, living practice of the 'Living Energy of Needs." This recording includes a supportive learning exercise and tips for expressing needs in a non-mechanical way. "Over the years, I have noticed that people -- including trainers and facilitators -- use the words of the NVC process...

Hidden Needs

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
Ask the Trainer: "I've been feeling frustrated and angry quite a bit lately over very simple things. Can you help me get to the root of my hidden needs?"

Colloquial NVC Options

Learning Tool • 2 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Learning Tool
2 pages
How can we express ourselves in a way that supports a natural flow of connection while maintaining a focus on NVC consciousness? This handout from CNVC Certified Trainer, Miki Kashtan, offers seven options that support NVC enthusiasts in evolving from classical to colloquial NVC language.

Honest Expression: Expressing Needs Clearly, Honestly and Compassionately

with Mary Mackenzie and Mark Schultz
Video • 29 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Video
29 minutes
Mary explains the value of expressing ourselves honestly. Watch as Mary uses the 4-step Nonviolent Communication process to express needs clearly, honestly and compassionately. She follows with concrete examples to help you anchor your learning process to deepen your authenticity and honest expression skills.