NVC Library

Search the Library

Search the Library

Search the Library

NVC Resources on Demands



Making Demands

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
When we ask something of a person and threaten negative repercussions if she doesn’t comply, we're making a demand. Demands limit the possible responses and reduce joyful participation. Instead, look to find mutually satisfying resolutions. And look for ways to change your demand into a request. Read on for more.

Demands vs Requests

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

Unpacking OFNR - Requests

Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Many believe it's only a true NVC request when we can ask for what we need without urgency or insistence. But what if we're the target of oppression and hate in a world with systemic inequality? Is it still nonviolence to abdicate power by allowing the person enacting harm to be the one to decide whether harm continues? The intensity of the need, degree of harm, and how chronically unmet the...

Transforming Power Relations: The Invisible Revolution

Article • 9 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
9 pages
Miki explains how teachers and administrators can become more effective in relating to themselves, other faculty and staff, and they can contribute more to students' ability to feel connected and energized. Nonviolent Communication provides specific tools to empower ourselves and others to live more in line with our values and deeper needs.

Honor Your Need to be Heard

Article • Read time: 2-3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 2-3 minutes
When you want to be heard, first check if your listener is available. This honors yourself, and the other person’s choice about listening. You need to be clear about wanting a particular quality of listening, and that you are willing to wait if that isn’t available in the moment. Read on for how to ask for listening in a way that can build trust that your request isn't a demand.

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 7. Talk about Conflict When You’re Not in Conflict

Trainer Tip • 4 - 6 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
4 - 6 minutes
Conflict is a normal and natural part of life. To varying degrees, it happens whenever two or more people consistently spend time together. Resolving conflict effectively and peacefully, in a way in which all parties feel respected and valued, does not feel natural for those of us who grew up with punitive, adversarial, or avoidant approaches to conflict. Eric offers some tips for approaching...

Mediate Your Life: Resolving Internal Conflicts (Part 5)

Audio • 1 hour, 19 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
1 hour, 19 minutes
If you wish you could stay more centered and present in the face of difficult or demanding situations, this course will provide some powerful tools for you. In this session, Join John and Ike as they review the Chooser-Educator Process (C-E) and demonstrate the "Barriers in the Chairs" process to help you get beyond the obstacles that keep you from your goals.

Let it RAIN!

with Jim Manske
Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
This article outlines a four-part transformation process to help us recognize what's giving rise to our suffering and resentment -- and transform it into more freedom, creativity, and choice.

Moving Beyond Needs as Met or Unmet

Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Sometimes when we regard needs as something that could be met or unmet by another person or by a situation we unconsciously hold the belief that our needs should be met. Or we end up holding blame or implying wrongdoing. People are more likely to resist a request made from this stance. Instead, here are practices to increasingly losen any remaining attachment or demand energy -- and open our...

Emotionally Exhausted? Try Empathy

Article • Read Time: 2 - 4 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read Time: 2 - 4 minutes
Living in this ceaselessly demanding world, how do we recover from emotional exhaustion? The hopelessness of not being met in the world can leave us wrung out like an old mop. Our heart rate plummets, our blood pressure and respiration drop, and energy and information processing start slogging along. Instead, we can build the bridge of empathy for greater rejuvenation.

Developing Compassion for Humans, Animals and All Life (Complete Course)

Audio • 5 - 7 hours
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
5 - 7 hours
Join LoraKim Joyner to investigate how merging science, the social and emotional intelligence of humans, animals and other species and Nonviolent Communication can bring a greater sense of belonging and wholeness to your life, and care and justice to the lives of others. The first part of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy:

Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

with Inbal Kashtan and Miki Kashtan
Learning Tool • 3 pages
Introductory Skill Level
Learning Tool
3 pages
NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.

Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship (Complete Course)

Audio • 4 - 6 hours
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
4 - 6 hours
Taking 100% Responsibility offers a powerful antidote to the all-too-common dynamic of blaming that leaves you in the victim position and unable to have the relationship you want. Miki invites you to assume a stance of leadership while holding full care for both parties’ needs. No longer will you need to wait for the other person to change, nor will you need to give up your needs to reach...

Money, Value, and Our Choices

Article • Read time: 10 - 15 minutes
Advanced Skill Level
Article
Read time: 10 - 15 minutes
How much money to pay? And how much money to ask for? The supply and demand logic basically say that we ask for the most that “the market can absorb” and pay “the least that we can get away with.” We can instead, we can engage in experiments that focus on connecting to and satisfying needs. We can also engage with our varying degrees of access to resources within the existing economy and...

 
NVC Booksdance floors 300x30