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NVC Resources on Strategies



Going Deep: Understanding Your Own and Others’ Deeper Motivations

with Alan Seid
Practice Exercise • n/a
Intermediate Skill Level
Practice Exercise
n/a
One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan's exercise called "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling.

Defining Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
In NVC we define needs as resources that life requires to sustain itself. All human beings have the same needs. The strategy is what we do to meet that need. Strategies are specific; we all choose unique ways to meet our needs. The more we can see the difference between the two, the more likely we are to resolve conflicts with ease. Today, look for opportunities to notice the difference in the...

The Top Five Deal Breakers in Relationships

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When considering your "deal breakers" consider what you want from a relationship rather than how it will look. For instance, maybe my need for abundance can be met by someone who is independently wealthy, so he doesn’t have to “have a good job”. When you shift your focus from strategies to needs, you may be pleasantly surprised what the universe brings. Read on for more.

Mediating with a Group

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: People struggle to come to agreement when they don’t feel heard. So as a mediator, facilitate the process by asking all parties to reflect the essence of what's important to other parties. This is critical. Once everyone is confident that their needs have been heard, you'll notice the energy in the room relaxing. Then you can brainstorm strategies that will value everyone’s needs,...

Mediating Conflicts

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

Differentiating Needs from Strategies

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
Trainer tip: When we focus on needs further possibilities are more likely to open up. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce and conflicts can arise. Resolution comes when we value everyone’s needs and seek mutually satisfying solutions. We can ask for support towards this outcome.

Distinguishing Life-Serving Boundaries From Requests

Article • 3-5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes
For effective dialogue clarify your needs, boundaries, and requests beforehand. Setting boundaries is telling someone what you're going to do in order to meet or protect needs for yourself or others. Whereas with requests, even if you have preferences, you still hold open curiosity about strategies to collaborate with others in meeting needs. Read on for more.

Workplace Series: Two Strategies for Adapting NVC into the Workplace

Audio • 6 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
6 minutes
Listen to Miki discuss two strategies for bringing NVC into the workplace in ways most likely to be well received. First Miki explains why it's best to focus more on needs than feelings in business environments. Second, she talks about unpacking needs into phrases as a way of enhancing workplace connection.

Creating Your Experience

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Only after we connect to our unmet need can we make sound decisions that will transform our experience. For example, if you feel bored, connect to your unmet needs (eg. need for understanding the relevance, etc) and then look for strategies that will meet them (eg. ask the speaker how this topic relates to our lives).

The Compass - Awakening to the Journey from You to Yourself

Audio • 1 hour, 21 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
1 hour, 21 minutes
Enjoy listening in as Arnina assists participants in fine tuning what they wish for their futures, and what practices they intend to embrace as the course winds down. She also offers strategies for what they can do if they forget their intended practice, and revisits the importance of untangling Needs from Core Belief.

Taste of Compassionate Leadership Series: Three Necessities for Integrating NVC

Audio • 1 hour, 11 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
1 hour, 11 minutes
Inspired by a talk given by Marshall Rosenberg, Jim offers an interactive exploration of powerful strategies for making NVC an integral part of your everyday life.

Standing in Your Truth and Setting Boundaries

Article • 8-12 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
8-12 minutes
Unhook from a reactive dynamic, by staying with your needs and requests, and release attachment to outcome. Start by shifting your attention from the other person to get clear on what's true for you. Read on for strategies to transform reactivity, possible boundary setting behaviors, typical signs of escalation, and more.

Intimacy With Fear

Article • 3 - 5 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
3 - 5 minutes
If we befriend our fear we cannot be paralyzed by it. Every fear that arises is a moment to increase our capacity. Fear is connected to something that is precious to us. We also can see what we do to numb our pain and how we try to avoid it. This knowledge can help us to choose healthier strategies to deal with our fears.

Finding Worthiness and Belonging

Article • 4 - 6 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
4 - 6 minutes
Worthlessness and shame are linked to the idea of not belonging or being unworthy of belonging -- that is, a deep sense of belonging to life, to your sense of self, and to our earth. Compensatory strategies to win worthiness and belonging arise from here and effectively block the very thing it is pursuing. Transformation occurs when there is a critical mass of clarity about the harm of a...

Can We Un-Skew Resource Distribution?

Article • 14 - 21 minutes
Advanced Skill Level
Article
14 - 21 minutes
In learning how to re-invent the economic system so that it distributes resources in a way that includes as many people's needs as possible, we would need to be in a process of mutual influence with one another. However, addressing resource distribution can be complex when people in different social locations have 1.)a different sense of what's considered "enough" 2.) different capacities to...

How To Interrupt Tragic Cycles That Prevent Collaboration

Article • 6 - 9 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
6 - 9 minutes
Interrupt cycles of conflict by creating a new ways forward. You can do this by connecting with the energy of the met needs you want in the dynamic; guessing the other person's needs; naming your needs; asking essential questions; identifying at least three different strategies to meet each need; and imagining the positive outcome.

A Focus on Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
There are endless ways to meet our needs. Conflict occurs when we argue over strategies. When we actively value everyone’s needs, we foster openness and deeper connection in our relationships. Today look for opportunities to focus on needs in order to resolve an issue with at least one person.

Taking on the World: How to Become a Change Agent (12 Session Course)

Audio • 14 - 18 hours
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
14 - 18 hours
Are you eager to translate your vision of a world where everyone’s needs matter into a tangible reality? Do you long to discover your unique role in responding to the challenges of our times? If, so join Miki for 12 sessions that will propel you on your way! The first session of this course is free for all to enjoy. nvctraining.com