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NVC Resources on Strategies


Going Deep: Understanding Your Own and Others’ Deeper Motivations

Practice Exercise • n/a • 09/2016
Practice Exercise
n/a
09/2016
One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan's exercise called "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling.

Defining Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
In NVC we define needs as resources that life requires to sustain itself. All human beings have the same needs. The strategy is what we do to meet that need. Strategies are specific; we all choose unique ways to meet our needs. The more we can see the difference between the two, the more likely we are to resolve conflicts with ease. Today, look for opportunities to notice the difference in the...

The Top Five Deal Breakers in Relationships

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: When considering your "deal breakers" consider what you want from a relationship rather than how it will look. For instance, maybe my need for abundance can be met by someone who is independently wealthy, so he doesn’t have to “have a good job”. When you shift your focus from strategies to needs, you may be pleasantly surprised what the universe brings. Read on for more.

Mediating with a Group

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: People struggle to come to agreement when they don’t feel heard. So as a mediator, facilitate the process by asking all parties to reflect the essence of what's important to other parties. This is critical. Once everyone is confident that their needs have been heard, you'll notice the energy in the room relaxing. Then you can brainstorm strategies that will value everyone’s needs,...

Mediating Conflicts

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

Differentiating Needs from Strategies

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: When we focus on needs further possibilities are more likely to open up. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce and conflicts can arise. Resolution comes when we value everyone’s needs and seek mutually satisfying solutions. We can ask for support towards this outcome.

Distinguishing Life-Serving Boundaries From Requests

Article • 3-5 minutes • 05/2020
Article
3-5 minutes
05/2020
For effective dialogue clarify your needs, boundaries, and requests beforehand. Setting boundaries is telling someone what you're going to do in order to meet or protect needs for yourself or others. Whereas with requests, even if you have preferences, you still hold open curiosity about strategies to collaborate with others in meeting needs. Read on for more.

Workplace Series: Two Strategies for Adapting NVC into the Workplace

Audio • 6 minutes • 10/2008
Audio
6 minutes
10/2008
Listen to Miki discuss two strategies for bringing NVC into the workplace in ways most likely to be well received. First Miki explains why it's best to focus more on needs than feelings in business environments. Second, she talks about unpacking needs into phrases as a way of enhancing workplace connection.

Intimacy With Fear

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 05/2014
Article
3 - 5 minutes
05/2014
If we befriend our fear we cannot be paralyzed by it. Every fear that arises is a moment to increase our capacity. Fear is connected to something that is precious to us. We also can see what we do to numb our pain and how we try to avoid it. This knowledge can help us to choose healthier strategies to deal with our fears.

Getting Stuck Arguments Unstuck

Article • 3-5 minutes • 8/2018
Article
3-5 minutes
8/2018
Some arguments stay stuck because each person thinks it's about the content of the argument, rather than the needs each person is attempting to protect. When the needs get attached to the strategies a "no way out" scenario gets created. Instead, fully step into one another's worlds and connect to the feelings and needs behind the strategy each party is putting forth. Read on for six elements to...

Can We Un-Skew Resource Distribution?

Article • 14 - 21 minutes • 3/2019
Article
14 - 21 minutes
3/2019
In learning how to re-invent the economic system so that it distributes resources in a way that includes as many people's needs as possible, we would need to be in a process of mutual influence with one another. However, addressing resource distribution can be complex when people in different social locations have 1.)a different sense of what's considered "enough" 2.) different capacities to...

The Compass - Awakening to the Journey from You to Yourself

Audio • 1 hour, 21 minutes • 04/03/2016
Audio
1 hour, 21 minutes
04/03/2016
Enjoy listening in as Arnina assists participants in fine tuning what they wish for their futures, and what practices they intend to embrace as the course winds down. She also offers strategies for what they can do if they forget their intended practice, and revisits the importance of untangling Needs from Core Belief.

Creating Your Experience

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: Only after we connect to our unmet need can we make sound decisions that will transform our experience. For example, if you feel bored, connect to your unmet needs (eg. need for understanding the relevance, etc) and then look for strategies that will meet them (eg. ask the speaker how this topic relates to our lives).

A Focus on Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
There are endless ways to meet our needs. Conflict occurs when we argue over strategies. When we actively value everyone’s needs, we foster openness and deeper connection in our relationships. Today look for opportunities to focus on needs in order to resolve an issue with at least one person.

Taking on the World: How to Become a Change Agent (12 Session Course)

Audio • 14 - 18 hours • 01/16/2011
Audio
14 - 18 hours
01/16/2011
Are you eager to translate your vision of a world where everyone’s needs matter into a tangible reality? Do you long to discover your unique role in responding to the challenges of our times? If, so join Miki for 12 sessions that will propel you on your way! The first session of this course is free for all to enjoy. nvctraining.com

How To Interrupt Tragic Cycles That Prevent Collaboration

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 12/2020
Article
6 - 9 minutes
12/2020
Interrupt cycles of conflict by creating a new ways forward. You can do this by connecting with the energy of the met needs you want in the dynamic; guessing the other person's needs; naming your needs; asking essential questions; identifying at least three different strategies to meet each need; and imagining the positive outcome.

Standing in Your Truth and Setting Boundaries

Article • 8-12 minutes • 11/2019
Article
8-12 minutes
11/2019
Unhook from a reactive dynamic, by staying with your needs and requests, and release attachment to outcome. Start by shifting your attention from the other person to get clear on what's true for you. Read on for strategies to transform reactivity, possible boundary setting behaviors, typical signs of escalation, and more.