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NVC Resources on Judgment

Releasing Our Judgments

Releasing Our Judgments

Releasing Our Judgments

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: It's impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. If we're willing to shift this behavior we can translate our judgments into acknowledging how something affects us. Once I got into the habit of this, my judgments began to subside dramatically. It became easy to love people and feel compassion for them, and I experienced a...

Getting Past Our Judgments

Getting Past Our Judgments

Getting Past Our Judgments

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Using NVC as a tool to transform our judgments can revolutionize our perceptions and relationships.

Moralistic Judgments

Moralistic Judgments

Moralistic Judgments

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes

Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: When we express moralistic judgments we are implying that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. Judging the situation or people can create distance and hurt. Instead, we can express our needs and how we're affected, bringing greater connection and healing. Today, notice how often you judge, and how you feel when you judge.

Understanding Judgments

Understanding Judgments

Understanding Judgments

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes

Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: Whenever we judge someone else in any way, we create a barrier and distance between us and the other person. Instead, consider shifting from judging other people to awareness of how their behavior affects your feelings and needs. This can make a profound difference in your ability to live peacefully. Read on for more.

Observing without Judgment

Observing without Judgment

Observing without Judgment

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes

Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Today, identify the facts, without adding your ideas about why people behave in certain ways. Then consider connecting with the person about what was going on with them. You will find that the more you observe life without judgment and evaluation, the more open you will be to hearing and connecting with other people.

Saying Thank You without Judgment

Saying Thank You without Judgment

Saying Thank You without Judgment

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: From the NVC perspective, everything someone says or does is either a “please” or a “thank you". In our culture, saying “thank you” usually involves an appreciation in the form of judgment or evaluation. Remember, whether we judge someone as good or bad, judgments and evaluations can create disconnect or tension. Instead, notice how their actions have enriched life, and what...

Losing Our Judgments

Losing Our Judgments

Losing Our Judgments

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes

Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: Various life circumstances that can seem to be something that we don't want, and we may think of them as bad. And then later the situation may reveal that it's a circumstance that we do want, and we may think of it as good. Instead, of evaluating our day as good or bad we can acknowledge the feelings and needs that are present. Read on for a few anecdotes that illustrate this.

Are You Living Your True Potential?

Are You Living Your True Potential?

Are You Living Your True Potential?

with Mary Mackenzie

Article • Read time: 5-8 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5-8 minutes

How can we live up to our true potential, a life filled with relationships and experiences that truly meet our needs? In this article, Mary offers us a way to bring about inner transformation that can lead to seeing ourselves, others and life differently -- for greater agency, empowerment and choice.

Change Your Thoughts to Change Your World

Change Your Thoughts to Change Your World

Change Your Thoughts to Change Your World

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Changing your thoughts can change the way people experience you. Just for today, see if you can notice when you have judgmental thoughts about yourself or other people. Then look to translate those thoughts into your feelings and needs. Read on for an example of how this works.

Listening as an Essential Leadership Skill

Listening as an Essential Leadership Skill

Listening as an Essential Leadership Skill

with Lorraine Aguilar

Audio • 8 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Audio
8 minutes

Lorraine perceives NVC-based listening to be an essential skill to cultivate for success in the business world. A key exercise for building your listening muscle is to work with your judgments of others by translating those judgments from “What’s wrong with them?” to “What's important to me?”

I'll Work on Me, You Work on You

I'll Work on Me, You Work on You

I'll Work on Me, You Work on You

with Jim Manske

Article • Read time: 5-8 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5-8 minutes

As a beginner in NVC, you might find your attempts to practice your NVC only increases conflict, disconnection and upset in your interactions with people. Or perhaps people start seeing you as inauthentic. From there, you may find yourself sinking deeper into self-judgement. In this article, Jim Manske shows us how to shift these potential unintended outcomes, into deeper NVC consciousness that...

Using Therapeutic Communication to Connect with Patients

Using Therapeutic Communication to Connect with Patients

Using Therapeutic Communication to Connect with Patients

with Melanie Sears

Article • 5 pages

Advanced Skill Level
Article
5 pages

"I was taught in Nursing School that when someone expressed a feeling to reflect it back. I tried this technique in the room of a patient who had just received a diagnosis of cancer."

We Don’t Need to Fix Other People

We Don’t Need to Fix Other People

We Don’t Need to Fix Other People

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: The very process of giving someone space to talk about their issue without our judgment, to be truly understood by us, and to be deeply heard is very healing, enough so that most people will organically find their own creative ways to resolve their issues. Rely on this process and you will lose all desire to fix people’s problems. Try this out today.

The Price of Nice

The Price of Nice

The Price of Nice

with Kelly Bryson

Article • 8 pages

Intermediate Skill Level
Article
8 pages

Have you been nice? Well then you must be enjoying the reward: depression, intermittent explosiveness, job meaninglessness, ambiguous anxiety, low resentment and subtle self hate.

Comparing Ourselves to Others

Comparing Ourselves to Others

Comparing Ourselves to Others

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes

Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: Comparisons are a form of judgment. The minute we compare ourselves to other people, we are setting ourselves up for pain and discouragement. We are setting them up too, and erecting a barrier between ourselves and them. Instead, notice how you feel about other people’s assets or foibles, and what needs come up for you. Read on for more.

Nothing but the Facts

Nothing but the Facts

Nothing but the Facts

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: There's often a large gap between what we experience, and the story we make up about it. Noticing how our judgments and assumptions cloud our observations can be critical to creating a connection with others and maintaining a Nonviolent Communication consciousness.

Anatomy of a Trigger: Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

Anatomy of a Trigger: Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

Anatomy of a Trigger: Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

with Mary Mackenzie

Article • Read time: 7-10 minutes

Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 7-10 minutes

When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath it all? There may be more than is immediately visible. This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...

Conflict Improv: She Talks Too Much!

Conflict Improv: She Talks Too Much!

Conflict Improv: She Talks Too Much!

with Christine King

Video • 8 minutes

Intermediate Skill Level
Video
8 minutes

In this edition of Conflict Improv, CNVC Certified Trainer Christine King navigates the challenging practice of expressing honesty when that expression might easily be heard as criticism.

What is Nonviolent Communication?

What is Nonviolent Communication?

What is Nonviolent Communication?

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes

Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at...

Catch Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics Early

Catch Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics Early

Catch Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics Early

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article • Read time: 4-6 minutes

Advanced Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4-6 minutes

Little negative impacts can become big when left unattended. Watch for things like using a sharp tone, choosing not to share something, going along with something when you don’t really want to, trying to convince your partner, impulsively turning away, shrinking, losing access to parts of yourself, hiding, daydreaming about a different life, and judgmental thoughts. Instead, shift the dynamic:...

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