NVC Resources with Alan Seid

Sex Is The Least Private Act

The energy of the most private events of our lives (such as sex) can ripple out and affect everything we do, like the ripples of a rock thrown in a pond. Instead of segregating -or sometimes denying- parts of ourselves, we can bring our blind spots and our shadows in self and relationships into the light. Having growth in a private life can transfer onto other areas of life.

---

The Purpose Of Gratitude

Gratitude keeps us connected to what is working, rather than dwelling on what is not working. As a celebration – gratitude keeps us connected to the natural joy of giving. Receiving gratitude also serves the function of feedback, and lets us know that we are effectively contributing.

---

You Suck At Conflict

Avoiding conflict is an even greater issue than having conflict. Not being as competent at conflict we avoid it. And in many cases that creates more conflict. Conflict is inevitable because we have different perspectives. Conflict is not bad. It is an opportunity for increased connection, intimacy, joy, and creative win-win solutions. Instead of avoiding conflict, we can work on increasing our...

---

Keep It Real, Warts and All

Our craving for love, acceptance, and approval can lead us to show only parts of ourselves and hide others. This lack of authenticity breeds disconnection and mistrust, leading to those very needs not being met. Once I accept myself, being authentic is easier. And then people in my life can love me for who I really am, warts and all.

---

Heaven And Hell

Read this short Japanese parable that symbolically illustrates the outcomes of having a competitive mindset – in contrast to an interdependent, collaborative one where everyone wins. It’s a story that encapsulates part of the spirit of NVC.

---

Another False Dichotomy: Selfish vs Selfless

If we’re selfish, all we care about is our own needs. If we’re selfless, our needs don’t enter the picture; others needs are the focus. But what if serving others meets our needs? What if being only selfish ultimately results in our needs being unmet? Do you find yourself bouncing between being a selfless doormat and then resenting it, and beating yourself up for being “selfish”? Instead, care...

---

The Long-Short Way, And The Short-Long Way

Some things may seem to take longer at first, but end up making things easier and faster. Other things seem easier or faster in the short term, but end up taking more time in the long run. This applies to projects, group agreements about process, relationships, addressing conflicts, clearing up misunderstandings, damage control, etc. It can be faster to slow down, be more present, and take the...

---

The Highest Leverage For Effective Meetings

The highest leverage point for effective meetings is preparing with self inquiry. Before saying something, we can ask ourselves about who this is serving, what needs it serves to say it, if there is a request we want to make, how to make the request actionable, and more. If more people at meetings do this, it can reduce the overall number of tangents we experience at meetings.

---

The Big Why

Some questions will take you deeper and deeper to universal human needs when you toggle between them. Questions like “What do I need?”, “If I had that, then what would I have?”, and “If I had that, what would that give me?”

---

How Privilege / Lack of Privilege Affects Men, Fishbowl Discussion

Join Alan Seid for a provocative fishbowl discussion about how privilege and lack of privilege affect men.

---

Financial Integrity: Your Money AND Your Life (6 Session Course)

CNVC Certified Trainer Alan Seid guides you to create a relationship with money that is clear, empowered and non-stressful. In which money plays a purposeful role in helping you create your ideal life, rather than unconsciously undermining your ability to achieve your dreams.

---

Integral Awareness and Practice for NVC Practitioners: Deepening NVC with Ken Wilber’s Integral Framework (6 Session Course)

This telecourse recording gives NVC Practitioners a guided tour of Ken Wilber’s work, a meta-theory (theory of theories) that includes as much knowledge and wisdom from as many sources as possible. You will explore how NVC and Integral Framework mesh, overlap and complement each other.

---

Going Deep: Understanding Your Own and Others’ Deeper Motivations

One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan's exercise called "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling.

---

NVC and Social Change

Listen to this telecourse recording with CNVC Certified Trainer, Alan Seid, to explore what is meant by social change in the context of NVC, and learn how Nonviolent Communication can be a powerful ally for creating social change.

---