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NVC Resources on Anger


Defusing Anger

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 01/25/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
01/25/2005
Trainer Tip: Many of us are afraid of our anger because we haven’t learned how to express it in a way that brings relief or that helps us meet our needs in the situation. Consider a different approach to anger, one that helps you fully express your anger and is more likely to help you meet your needs for relief, to be heard, or to be understood.

Understanding and Transforming Anger

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 01/2021
Article
6 - 9 minutes
01/2021
Anger can alert us that a need may be threatened. When anger lives in someone as a well-worn habit, it arises from a place of dissociation from one’s heart and is entangled with misinterpretations, a deep sense of threat, a history of pain, and social conditioning that isn’t life-serving. Read on for how intention, mindfulness, and specific actions can change that habit.

Working With Anger: An Exercise

Practice Exercise • 2 -3 minutes • 12/22/2021
Practice Exercise
2 -3 minutes
12/22/2021
Fully connecting to the deeper need under the anger can transform and release the anger, without requiring the other person to do anything differently. From there, you can reach an understanding of the other person's experience, feelings and needs underlying the actions that stimulated your anger to re-establish connection with your own and the other person's humanity.

The Mobilizing Power of Anger

Article • 3-5 minutes • 06/2020
Article
3-5 minutes
06/2020
Anger can result in violence or in a movement towards positive change. We can see this happen in the push for racial justice. When you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective narrows and old conditioning can take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence. Read on for four ways to to respond to our own or others' anger in a...

Using Anger to Serve Life

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: Sometimes we need to empathize with a person before he can hear our anger. Consider that all anger is an expression of an unmet need. If we focus on the need, rather than the actions, we are more likely to connect compassionately with other people. Be aware of opportunities to empathize with someone’s anger today.

Parenting and Anger: Walking the Ultimate Path to Peace (5 Session Course)

Audio • 6 - 8 hours • 11/10/2011
Audio
6 - 8 hours
11/10/2011
John and Stephanie combine mediating conflict, parenting and study of brain science to this ground-breaking course recording on how to funnel your anger and your child’s anger toward mutual caring and peace.

Responding to Anger

Article • 5-8 minutes • 05/2018
Article
5-8 minutes
05/2018
When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite...

Transforming Children's Anger

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 11/16/2021
Article
3 - 5 minutes
11/16/2021
What parent hasn't experienced a surge of protectiveness when your child hurts their sibling? Our cultural training calls us to immediately take two roles: the judge, determining who was wrong and what the consequences will be, and the police, enforcing the consequences. These thankless jobs often result in frustration, resentment, pain, for all. Read on for an example of how empathy...

Transforming Anger: The Enemy Image Process and Learning/Growth Spiral

Audio • 1 hour, 11 minutes • 11/23/2009
Audio
1 hour, 11 minutes
11/23/2009
Transforming anger is a key practice for returning to conscious presence and connection with self and others when triggered into a reaction. Join John Kinyon to learn this essential life skill through the Enemy Image Process and Learning/Growth Spiral.

Anger’s Two Kinds of Reactivity

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 10/2015
Article
6 - 9 minutes
10/2015
There's reactive anger - the sudden outbursts of words, temper or action that create a nervous system response in another. And then there's the anger that's a reaction to someone's anger -- a nervous system startle-response. Instead of either of these, we can learn to heal with empathy, look for unequal power dynamics, take responsibility to make repairs, and shift into the clean, life-serving,...