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NVC Resources on Anger


Defusing Anger

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 01/25/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
01/25/2005
Trainer Tip: Many of us are afraid of our anger because we haven’t learned how to express it in a way that brings relief or that helps us meet our needs in the situation. Consider a different approach to anger, one that helps you fully express your anger and is more likely to help you meet your needs for relief, to be heard, or to be understood.

Anger’s Two Kinds of Reactivity

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 10/2015
Article
6 - 9 minutes
10/2015
There's reactive anger - the sudden outbursts of words, temper or action that create a nervous system response in another. And then there's the anger that's a reaction to someone's anger -- a nervous system startle-response. Instead of either of these, we can learn to heal with empathy, look for unequal power dynamics, take responsibility to make repairs, and shift into the clean, life-serving,...

Using Anger to Serve Life

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: Sometimes we need to empathize with a person before he can hear our anger. Consider that all anger is an expression of an unmet need. If we focus on the need, rather than the actions, we are more likely to connect compassionately with other people. Be aware of opportunities to empathize with someone’s anger today.

The Mobilizing Power of Anger

Article • 3-5 minutes • 06/2020
Article
3-5 minutes
06/2020
Anger can result in violence or in a movement towards positive change. We can see this happen in the push for racial justice. When you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective narrows and old conditioning can take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence. Read on for four ways to to respond to our own or others' anger in a...

Understanding and Transforming Anger

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 01/2021
Article
6 - 9 minutes
01/2021
Anger can alert us that a need may be threatened. When anger lives in someone as a well-worn habit, it arises from a place of dissociation from one’s heart and is entangled with misinterpretations, a deep sense of threat, a history of pain, and social conditioning that isn’t life-serving. Read on for how intention, mindfulness, and specific actions can change that habit.

Anatomy of a Trigger: Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

Article • 7-10 minutes • 10/2017
Article
7-10 minutes
10/2017
When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger? There may be more than is immediately visible. This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...

Parenting and Anger: Walking the Ultimate Path to Peace (5 Session Course)

Audio • 6 - 8 hours • 11/10/2011
Audio
6 - 8 hours
11/10/2011
John and Stephanie combine mediating conflict, parenting and study of brain science to this ground-breaking course recording on how to funnel your anger and your child’s anger toward mutual caring and peace. The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy. nvctraining.com

How to Express Feelings

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.

Grief and Mourning for the World

Article • 5-7 minutes • 10/2020
Article
5-7 minutes
10/2020
As you witness injustices in the world, tension, anger, hopelessness, despair and more, may rise up in you. These feelings may lead to reactive thinking that doesn't contribute to healing nor wise action. Mourning is a universal need. If your culture pushed away grief and its emotional expression, you may have habits that block your access to the aliveness of grief. Read on for ways to give...

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 10. Take It to the Trees

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 01/2016
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
01/2016
One of the most important things you can do to live a meaningful and rewarding life filled with vitality is reclaim your emotions. Eric offers a tip to reclaim your emotions, rescuing you from the numb and deadening state of “fine."

Create Mutuality Rather Than Keeping Score

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 2/2021
Article
3 - 5 minutes
2/2021
Where do you feel desperation, resentment, anger about your partner's choices? What do you want to demand of them? Rather than looking for what they're suppose to do, look for your feelings and needs, how would you would respond if you trusted your needs could be met without your partner, and what you choose to do given what your partner offers and does not offer.

The Power of Being Heard

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: To defuse anger and create space for resolution, hear the other person’s feelings and needs. If this practice is new to you, you're like to experience fear and resistance in trying it out. However, you'll be more likely to experience a powerful shift, and build your capacity, if you try it anyways.

Embracing Your Emotions: Honoring the Wisdom of BIG Emotions (3 Session Course)

Audio • 3 - 4 hours • 06/13/2011
Audio
3 - 4 hours
06/13/2011
Listen to this short 3 session telecourse recording with CNVC Certified Trainer Christine King, and you will learn how to honor the wisdom that your anger, fear, shame and other BIG emotions have for you. The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 7. Talk about Conflict When You’re Not in Conflict

Trainer Tip • 4 - 6 minutes • 01/2016
Trainer Tip
4 - 6 minutes
01/2016
Conflict is a normal and natural part of life. To varying degrees, it happens whenever two or more people consistently spend time together. Resolving conflict effectively and peacefully, in a way in which all parties feel respected and valued, does not feel natural for those of us who grew up with punitive, adversarial, or avoidant approaches to conflict. Eric offers some tips for approaching...