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NVC Resources on Blame


Healing the Blame that Binds

Article • 4 -6 minutes • 2000
Article
4 -6 minutes
2000
Blame is the game that protects me from the understanding that the cause of all my emotional distress, fear, shame and guilt comes from the part of me I call "the inner voice." As long as I keep the big bony finger of blame pointed in your direction, I can remain unaware of the fact that it is what I am telling myself about your behavior that is stimulating my painful reactions.

The Blame-Free State (5 Session Course)

Audio • 6 - 8 hours • 10/23/2014
Audio
6 - 8 hours
10/23/2014
Blame can become a terrible habit – one that’s extremely costly both personally, socially and culturally. When you play The Blame Game there are usually only losers. Nobody wins, not really. Learn how to move out of blame into peace – whether it involves others, yourself or situations. The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.

3 Simple Steps to Set The Boundaries You Need

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 07/2019
Article
3 - 5 minutes
07/2019
Resentment is one sign that you need a boundary. You can set a boundary by requesting the behavior that would be most meaningful to you. Include why that behavior would be meaningful to you and share vulnerably. Then notice if you are holding any blame and ask yourself, “What do I need to feel underneath my blame?” If you can take responsibility for those feelings with compassion, the other...

Four Ways to Hear Any Message

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: In every interaction, we have a choice of responding in one of these four ways: judge/blame self, Judge/blame others, empathize with self, and/or empathize with others. The goal is to make a conscious choice about our response. Notice the choices you have when you receive someone’s communication today.

Moving Beyond Needs as Met or Unmet

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 10/2019
Article
5 - 8 minutes
10/2019
Sometimes when we regard needs as something that could be met or unmet by another person or by a situation we unconsciously hold the belief that our needs should be met. Or we end up holding blame or implying wrongdoing. People are more likely to resist a request made from this stance. Instead, here are practices to increasingly losen any remaining attachment or demand energy -- and open our...

Engage Your Curiosity

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: When someone acts in baffling ways we can either wonder about what’s going on with the other person, create our own stories about it (blame, resent, make assumptions), or inform ourselves by asking. This is an opportunity to learn something new.

Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship (4 Session Course)

Audio • 4 - 6 hours • 04/17/2015
Audio
4 - 6 hours
04/17/2015
Taking 100% Responsibility offers a powerful antidote to the all-too-common dynamic of blaming that leaves you in the victim position and unable to have the relationship you want. Miki invites you to assume a stance of leadership while holding full care for both parties’ needs. No longer will you need to wait for the other person to change, nor will you need to give up your needs to reach...

Sitting With Not Knowing: Embracing the Heart of Nonviolent Communication

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 7/2017
Article
3 - 5 minutes
7/2017
Sitting with not knowing is an NVC skill because its the opposite of reactivity. In our haste to find relief from the discomfort of not knowing, we often become defensive, jump to conclusions, and blame and criticize others. Sitting with not knowing requires us to suspend our distrust, tolerate fear and uncertainty - creating space within us. NVC provides a way forward to enter into a space of...

Bridging the Gap: Practical Support for Parents of Grown Sons and Daughters (4 Session Course)

Audio • 4 - 6 hours • 09/05/2013
Audio
4 - 6 hours
09/05/2013
Learn tools to help you reconnect and repair your relationship with your adult children. Whether the issues are estrangement, lack of trust, conflict, dependence, miscommunication or any other challenge that impacts you with your grown sons and daughters, your heart will find comfort and ease through this course.

Group Feedback

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • Circa 2007
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
Circa 2007
Ask the Trainer: "I'm part of a small, self-led NVC group that's been working together for almost two years. We are experiencing some growing pains in that we're still not certain how and under what circumstances to make requests, especially negative ones."