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NVC Resources on Trust


Not Trusting the “Yes”

Audio • 24 minutes • 04/2008
Audio
24 minutes
04/2008
In this audio recording, Miki demonstrates how to stay in a dialogue when you don't trust someone's "yes," how to equalize power between people and how to allow space for others to say "no" to our requests. In this 2-part audio series, Miki demonstrates how to stay in a dialogue when you don’t trust someone’s “yes,” how to equalize power between people and how to allow space for others to say...

Building Trust

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 8/2011
Article
3 - 5 minutes
8/2011
How is trust best supported? Do you know what you do to contribute to making it easier or more difficult for others to express the truth (even in the most mundane moments)? Smaller requests can also built trust over time if they're rooted in the present moment, and are specific enough. Learn more about building trust...

Mediating Conflicts

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

Healing From Betrayal

Article • 5- 8 minutes • 07/2019
Article
5- 8 minutes
07/2019
Repairing betrayal may include rebuilding self trust, getting support, empathy on both sides over time, and new agreements. Even though your (in)actions don't "cause" someone's behavior, acknowledging any part you played in creating conditions for the behaviors to arise, can support repair. Trust builds slowly as new skills, ways of relating and experiences that reflect honesty, self...

Differentiating Between Feelings And Faux Feelings

Learning Tool • N/A • 2013
Learning Tool
N/A
2013
This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”

Creating an Internal Secure Base

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 9/2018
Article
5 - 8 minutes
9/2018
We each hold an internal model or set of expectations about how caring and comfort could be accessed in relationship. The ability to reflect upon and challenge our own dominant model of perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors --and to experience discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and...

Create Mutuality Rather Than Keeping Score

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 2/2021
Article
3 - 5 minutes
2/2021
Where do you feel desperation, resentment, anger about your partner's choices? What do you want to demand of them? Rather than looking for what they're suppose to do, look for your feelings and needs, how would you would respond if you trusted your needs could be met without your partner, and what you choose to do given what your partner offers and does not offer.

The Basics of Partnership Parenting Using NVC (6 Session Course)

Audio • 7 hours, 29 minutes • 03/2010
Audio
7 hours, 29 minutes
03/2010
As parents, we often face challenging situations on a daily basis and struggle to create what we most long for. In this 6 session telecourse recording, you will learn how Nonviolent Communication can support a family culture where cooperation, trust, and peace are nurtured, and children and parents can flourish together.

Opening to Intimacy

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: Do you have behavioral patterns that block intimacy? When we are feeling our most vulnerable, we often want intimacy but also tend to keep it at bay. Acknowledge your need for intimacy, and find people you can trust to love you as you are.

Bridging the Gap: Practical Support for Parents of Grown Sons and Daughters (4 Session Course)

Audio • 4 - 6 hours • 09/05/2013
Audio
4 - 6 hours
09/05/2013
Learn tools to help you reconnect and repair your relationship with your adult children. Whether the issues are estrangement, lack of trust, conflict, dependence, miscommunication or any other challenge that impacts you with your grown sons and daughters, your heart will find comfort and ease through this course. The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.

Honor Your Need to be Heard

Article • 2-3 minutes • 04/2019
Article
2-3 minutes
04/2019
When you want to be heard, first check if your listener is available. This honors yourself, and the other person’s choice about listening. You need to be clear about wanting a particular quality of listening, and that you are willing to wait if that isn’t available in the moment. Read on for how to ask for listening in a way that can build trust that your request isn't a demand.

Empathy in the Face of Powerful Structures

Article • 12 - 18 minutes • 1/2018
Article
12 - 18 minutes
1/2018
Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and...

Empathy vs. Investigation

Article • 4-6 minutes • 12/2018
Article
4-6 minutes
12/2018
To tell the difference between empathy and investigation, watch for distinctions along four different dimensions: energy, subject, intention and trust. These distinctions can help us engage awareness and skill to meet your needs and respond to others’ needs in more direct ways. The more you meet your needs in conscious and direct ways, the more present you can be for others. Read on for more...

Flow, Decision-Making, And Conflict

Article • 22 - 33 minutes • 9/24/2021
Article
22 - 33 minutes
9/24/2021
Trust, flow, information sharing, and learning is reduced in conflict. Conflict can indicate incapacity in at least one of five systems that every group, community, or organization needs to function. Attending to conflict at systems-level helps reduce over relying on momentary connection that isn’t anchored in decisions about what comes next. When there's enough agreed upon systems within...

The Three Most Common Pitfalls in Nonviolent Communication

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 06/2017
Article
5 - 8 minutes
06/2017
We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.

What About Psychopaths?

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 11/2015
Article
4 - 6 minutes
11/2015
Sometimes we want to avoid placing our love and trust in someone, to protect our hearts and our life energies. And so there are deeper questions that we can use to check whether we're in relationship with someone who doesn't have capacity to be in relationship with us (eg. “Do I have a sense of mattering in this relationship?”). Read on for more questions we use to assess our empathy and...

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 4. Invite People to Say No

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 01/2016
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
01/2016
When asking for support from another, you are most likely to enjoy receiving that support when the person giving support is giving from the heart—from a place of joy or delight. Inviting them to say "no" is a way of encouraging an authentic response, a response you can trust more fully.

Life Force and the Spirituality of Human Needs (6 Session Course)

Audio • 6 - 9 hours • 10/9/2013
Audio
6 - 9 hours
10/9/2013
Your needs and your values are your Life Force: the river that flows through your spirit and your life, giving life and light to your being. Explore this river with Robert, and map out routes that support your growth. Gain a deeper understadning and acceptance of the spirituality and beauty of needs and values. The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.