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NVC Resources on Intention



Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

with Inbal Kashtan and Miki Kashtan
Learning Tool • 3 pages
Introductory Skill Level
Learning Tool
3 pages
NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.

Intention and Effect

Article • Read time: 12 - 18 minutes
Advanced Skill Level
Article
Read time: 12 - 18 minutes
When someone expresses upset about our actions, and we focus on our intention being seen and understood (e.g. "I didn’t mean to hurt you”) it doesn't support the speaker in being heard more deeply with care. Here we'll explore this dynamic in a way that supports more clarity and the possibility of greater personal liberation. Read on for more.

The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions

Article • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection. The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc). Once we let the map drop away, we...

Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

Article • Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
When someone responds with painful sarcasm, criticism, or dismissal you can respond with empathy, or with clarity about your intention, need and request. If you're unable to do this, later you can privately write what they said, identify the feelings and needs of both of you, then write possible responses. This can help you remember to stay with your intention and what’s true for you without...

Zero Step

Video • 54 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Video
54 minutes
Jim and Jori’s Zero Step helps you focus your attention on your intention to connect, and then affirms your intention to live in the present. Listen in as they demonstrate the process — and learn about the benefits of using and cultivating it!

Why Don’t They Get It?

Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
What can we do when someone tells us we're contributing to a pattern we're genuinely not seeing (nor experiencing)? What makes these patterns visible to some people but not others? This article addresses these things by talking about what to factor in when receiving feedback; handling feedback; responding relationally; paying attention to social location; considering impact; plus, broadening our...

How to Survive the Holidays: 6 Communication Tips

Article • Read Time: 6 - 10 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read Time: 6 - 10 minutes
For many, spending time with relatives over the holidays may be challenging. In addition to the love and care we may feel, family gatherings can bring up old hurts or expose painful differences. How many family meals have been marred by tense silence or devolved into harsh argument?

How to Interrupt

with Jeff Brown
Trainer Tip • 3 - 5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
3 - 5 minutes
Ask the Trainer: "I feel a lot of fear or nervousness about approaching a neighbor who uses 'wastebasket talk.' Once she's engaged, there are only two techniques that interrupt the flow: leaving or interrupting."

Mediating Conflicts

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Important Conversations

Article • Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
What's my intention? What needs am I trying to meet? What do I want the other person to know or understand? How can I say it in a way they are most likely to hear? These are four questions we can use in preparation for an important conversation. Read on for more on this, plus four accompanying practices.

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 14. Admit to it Too

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
It can be challenging to tell people that you don’t like a certain behaviour or action of theirs. Even with supportive intentions and compassionate language your message might be difficult for someone to receive. Of course, we are not responsible for others’ reactions, but we are responsible to care about each other, and there are effective ways to express ourselves with more care.

Connecting with Spiritual Clarity

with Jim Manske
Article • Read time: 2 - 3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 2 - 3 minutes
We can cultivate spiritual clarity through bringing attention to our intentions, mourning, gratitude, and the dynamic flow of feelings and needs. This can bring more autonomy, choice and liberate the energy of connection and contribution. We can also awaken our hearts to see the reality that our well-being is mutually interdependent. Read on for more.

Opening Hearts in Israel, Palestine, India and Sri Lanka

Article • 11 pages
Beginner Skill Level
Article
11 pages
CNVC Certified Trainer Shantigarbha Warren offers a report of his recent NVC training trip to Israel/Palestine, India and Sri Lanka and clarifies how NVC can support social change in three very different contexts. Included is an exercise, based on Gandhi’s teaching.

Empathy in the Face of Powerful Structures

Article • Read time: 12 - 18 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 12 - 18 minutes
Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and...

The Three Most Common Pitfalls in Nonviolent Communication

Article • Read Time: 5 - 8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read Time: 5 - 8 minutes
We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.

Making Requests for Respect

Article • Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
When asking for respect it helps to first get clear about your interpretations of other's behavior. You can do this by asking about the other's intentions before believing your thoughts. You can also make a clear request for what specifically you want to see happen instead. Read on for more.

Angry and Taken Advantage of

Article • Read time: 4-6 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4-6 minutes
Finding your power in seemingly powerless situations doesn't mean denying what happened, your feelings, your needs, nor the behavior of others that didn't meet needs. It does mean reexamining those situations with the intention to compassionately look for your contribution and for clues to your hidden perceptual biases. Read on to learn about about finding these clues, and more.

 
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