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NVC Resources on Intention


Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 09/2019
Article
3 - 5 minutes
09/2019
When someone responds with painful sarcasm, criticism, or dismissal you can respond with empathy, or with clarity about your intention, need and request. If you're unable to do this, later you can privately write what they said, identify the feelings and needs of both of you, then write possible responses. This can help you remember to stay with your intention and what’s true for you without...

The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 4/2014
Article
4 - 6 minutes
4/2014
The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection. The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc). Once we let the map drop away, we...

Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Important Conversations

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 11/2019
Article
5 - 8 minutes
11/2019
What's my intention? What needs am I trying to meet? What do I want the other person to know or understand? How can I say it in a way they are most likely to hear? These are four questions we can use in preparation for an important conversation. Read on for more on this, plus four accompanying practices.

Intention and Effect

Article • 12 - 18 minutes • 08/2013
Article
12 - 18 minutes
08/2013
When someone expresses upset about our actions, and we focus on our intention being seen and understood (e.g. "I didn’t mean to hurt you”) it doesn't support the speaker in being heard more deeply with care. Here we'll explore this dynamic in a way that supports more clarity and the possibility of greater personal liberation. Read on for more.

Mediating Conflicts

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

Empathy in the Face of Powerful Structures

Article • 12 - 18 minutes • 1/2018
Article
12 - 18 minutes
1/2018
Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and...

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 14. Admit to it Too

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 01/2016
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
01/2016
It can be challenging to tell people that you don’t like a certain behaviour or action of theirs. Even with supportive intentions and compassionate language your message might be difficult for someone to receive. Of course, we are not responsible for others’ reactions, but we are responsible to care about each other, and there are effective ways to express ourselves with more care.

Connecting with Spiritual Clarity

with Jim Manske
Article • 2 - 3 minutes • 11/2019
Article
2 - 3 minutes
11/2019
We can cultivate spiritual clarity through bringing attention to our intentions, mourning, gratitude, and the dynamic flow of feelings and needs. This can bring more autonomy, choice and liberate the energy of connection and contribution. We can also awaken our hearts to see the reality that our well-being is mutually interdependent. Read on for more.

The Three Most Common Pitfalls in Nonviolent Communication

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 06/2017
Article
5 - 8 minutes
06/2017
We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.

Confronting with Care: An Approach that Builds Trust

Article • 7 - 10 minutes • 11/2010
Article
7 - 10 minutes
11/2010
People find confrontation inspirational when done with full compassion and intention to support. To do this, transform your own judgments or distress, come with useful content plus spot-on timing, and the best interests of the receiver in mind. Read on for questions you can ask yourself in preparation for this, and more.

Being Yourself And Asking For What You Want

Article • 7 - 11 minutes • 9/18/2021
Article
7 - 11 minutes
9/18/2021
Let's look at the resources, awareness, and skills needed to ask for emotional attunement, celebration, relatedness, perspective, understanding, advice, and information. This includes expressing appreciation for what's supporting your needs, strengthening a sense of worthiness, and awareness of your reactivity and intention. Plus, making requests that are clear, specific, doable and creates a...

Understanding and Transforming Anger

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 01/2021
Article
6 - 9 minutes
01/2021
Anger can alert us that a need may be threatened. When anger lives in someone as a well-worn habit, it arises from a place of dissociation from one’s heart and is entangled with misinterpretations, a deep sense of threat, a history of pain, and social conditioning that isn’t life-serving. Read on for how intention, mindfulness, and specific actions can change that habit.

Empathy vs. Investigation

Article • 4-6 minutes • 12/2018
Article
4-6 minutes
12/2018
To tell the difference between empathy and investigation, watch for distinctions along four different dimensions: energy, subject, intention and trust. These distinctions can help us engage awareness and skill to meet your needs and respond to others’ needs in more direct ways. The more you meet your needs in conscious and direct ways, the more present you can be for others. Read on for more...

Principle Based Teaching (6 Session Course)

Audio • 7 - 10 hours • 10/09/2011
Audio
7 - 10 hours
10/09/2011
The focus of this 6-session class is on shifting the intention of your teaching from how to why while embodying the principles and practice of NVC every step of the way - from planning to delivery. The methodology Miki offers is to start with understanding what the people in your audience face in their environment, continue with what they might want to learn and how NVC principles can provide...

Angry and Taken Advantage of

Article • 4-6 minutes • 6/2018
Article
4-6 minutes
6/2018
Finding your power in seemingly powerless situations doesn't mean denying what happened, your feelings, your needs, nor the behavior of others that didn't meet needs. It does mean reexamining those situations with the intention to compassionately look for your contribution and for clues to your hidden perceptual biases. Read on to learn about about finding these clues, and more.

Marshall Rosenberg's Vision of Social Change

Article • 12 - 18 minutes • 12/2017
Article
12 - 18 minutes
12/2017
What could be, more often than not, overlooked when we think about or represent NVC or Marshall Rosenberg's work? This article busts some commonly held ideas and approaches to NVC. It challenges us to widen the lens of what it really means to be "life-serving", or speaking and hearing the "language of life". And it also speaks to how thinking can deepen feeling and relatedness...

Expressing Ourselves Honestly

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities to be honest holding the intention to connect with people. If you do this with the elements of brevity, directness, and respect, you can increase your chances of being heard. If they don't like your honesty, consider switching to empathizing with them by listening to their feelings and needs.