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NVC Resources on Intention


Setting The Intention

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When we have no hope of a conversation working out, our attitude towards the situation can contribute to our lack of success. Instead, start conversations that might be challenging with the intention of success. This can shift the energy immediately toward it. This doesn’t guarantee success, but can increase its chances.

Intention and Effect

Article • 12 - 18 minutes • 
Article
12 - 18 minutes
When someone expresses upset about our actions, and we focus on our intention being seen and understood (e.g. "I didn’t mean to hurt you”) it doesn't support the speaker in being heard more deeply with care. Here we'll explore this dynamic in a way that supports more clarity and the possibility of greater personal liberation. Read on for more.

Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

Learning Tool • 3 pages • 
Learning Tool
3 pages
NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.

The NVC Model: A Map to Your Intentions

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Article
4 - 6 minutes
The more we practice NVC by “rote” --going through OFNR (“Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests”) on automatic-- the more likely our NVC practice would lead to disconnection. The purpose of our NVC practice is to use this NVC "map" (OFNR) to support us in integrating the consciousness of the NVC (eg. operating with the intention to connect, collaborate, etc). Once we let the map drop away, we...

The Three Most Common Pitfalls in Nonviolent Communication

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 
Article
5 - 8 minutes
We're more likely to sacrifice trust, connection, and relationship quality when (1.) We use NVC to focus on being seen, understood, heard, or meeting our own needs in a way that eclipses our view and understanding of others needs; (2.) We don't clearly examine our intentions; and (3.) We use the NVC form so rigidly that it becomes difficult for others to connect with us authentically.

Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 
Article
3 - 5 minutes
When someone responds with painful sarcasm, criticism, or dismissal you can respond with empathy, or with clarity about your intention, need and request. If you're unable to do this, later you can privately write what they said, identify the feelings and needs of both of you, then write possible responses. This can help you remember to stay with your intention and what’s true for you without...

Zero Step

Video • 54 minutes • 
Video
54 minutes
Jim and Jori’s Zero Step helps you focus your attention on your intention to connect, and then affirms your intention to live in the present. Listen in as they demonstrate the process — and learn about the benefits of using and cultivating it!

Keeping Ourselves Open

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: One of the swiftest ways to close our hearts is having judgmental thinking or looking to get our way. How open are you when you’re in this mode? The goal in peaceful living is to approach our relationships with an open heart. Start conversations today with an intention to connect with other people.

Two Basics That Support Conflict Resolution

Practice Exercise • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
4 - 6 minutes
Connecting with self and other is key to care and creativity. Before dialogue connect with your intention and needs for being with grief, fear or pain, and empathy. Dialogue when you're both rested, fed, and have spaciousness. Start by expressing care and desire to find mutually satisfying solutions. To deepen connection you may repeat what you hear and ask the other person to do the same.

The NVC Tree Of Life

Learning Tool • 1-2 minutes • 
Learning Tool
1-2 minutes
This one page colour handout illustrates the focus options or intention options for connection: empathy (verbal and non-verbal), self expression, and self connection (opening our heart to self and/or others). It also offers some suggestions for how to say these things to self and others.

Greeting the Holidays with an Open, Joyful Heart

with Christine King, Faye Landey, Liv Larsson, Mary Mackenzie and Rita Herzog
Audio • 1 hour, 24 minutes • 
Audio
1 hour, 24 minutes
Please join us as we take a look at what disrupts our joy during the holidays… and discuss the delicious possibilities that abound when we declare our intention to "Greet the Holidays with an Open, Joyful Heart."

Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Important Conversations

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 
Article
5 - 8 minutes
What's my intention? What needs am I trying to meet? What do I want the other person to know or understand? How can I say it in a way they are most likely to hear? These are four questions we can use in preparation for an important conversation. Read on for more on this, plus four accompanying practices.

Empowering Ourselves Through Our Choices

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Today, when you tell yourself that you "have to" or "should" do something, notice what you feel and experience - is it a sense of duty, obligation, guilt, shame, overwhelm, constriction, heaviness? Then consider the underlying needs you are trying to meet with the activity. This can shift the purpose and intention with an energy that motivates our actions can bring empowerment and...

How to Interrupt

with Jeff Brown
Trainer Tip • 3 - 5 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
3 - 5 minutes
Ask the Trainer: "I feel a lot of fear or nervousness about approaching a neighbor who uses 'wastebasket talk.' Once she's engaged, there are only two techniques that interrupt the flow: leaving or interrupting."

Colloquial NVC Options

Learning Tool • 2 pages • 
Learning Tool
2 pages
How can we express ourselves in a way that supports a natural flow of connection while maintaining a focus on NVC consciousness? This handout from CNVC Certified Trainer, Miki Kashtan, offers seven options that support NVC enthusiasts in evolving from classical to colloquial NVC language.