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NVC Resources with Mary Mackenzie



Acknowledging Other People’s Reality

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Even if we don't agree, acknowledging others' realities can help demonstrate that we're including their feelings and needs in the conversation. Creating space for your reality and theirs can also bring a sense of connection, understanding, inclusion, abundance and fullness in life. Try it today. Read on for an example.

Timing of a request

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Stating our observations, feelings and needs can still be heard as criticism if we don't follow it up right away with a specific, doable request. Ending your statement with a request for what you want can clarify the situation and reduce the chances that you'll be met with defensiveness. Read on for an example.

Staying in the Present

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Usually if we are in anguish, it’s because we’re not in the present. Instead of worrying, look to see if there is an action you can take in the present moment that will help change the situation. If you're fretting about the past, see if there's anything you can do to rectify the situation. Then take action. Read on for examples.

Communicating Our Deepest Desires

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When we "protect" ourselves by not asking for what we want, we block ourselves from getting our needs met. From here, disappointment and resentment can build -- especially if this is a pattern. Instead, notice when you're tempted to do this, and be honest and upfront about what you want to improve the quality of your relationships.

Safe Experimentation

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Instead of trying for perfection, let’s try safe experimentation: Acknowledge that whenever we try a new behavior, it’s bound to take us a few times before we get it right. Read on for how we can do this. We'll use learning empathy as an example.

Love Trumps Everything

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When looking for a solution take the time to consider and connect to other's needs rather than just focusing on getting what you want. Such a basic shift in consciousness can make a profound difference in your relationships, both personal and professional. Notice how you feel afterward.

Change Your Thoughts to Change Your World

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Changing your thoughts can change the way people experience you. Just for today, see if you can notice when you have judgmental thoughts about yourself or other people. Then look to translate those thoughts into your feelings and needs. Read on for an example of how this works.

Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Every time you criticize yourself, you cause yourself to feel shame and guilt, which promotes depression and stagnation. Instead, bringing in more self compassion can increase opportunities for change. Do this by acknowledging your needs (or values) that aren’t met by your actions. Read on for how to do this.

Being the Change We Seek

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Is there something you would like more of in your life right now? Try not to look to other people to provide the kind of experiences you want. Can you think of a way that you can be the change you seek? See if responding to the people the way you would want them to respond to you shifts something. Read on for an example of how.

Honesty Is the Key

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: In Nonviolent Communication, we see expressing honesty as a gift of our authenticity, and a chance for others to support us in getting our needs met -- this can flourish and deepen our relationships. We can notice and act on opportunities to be honest with the components of OFNR (Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests).

Empathy vs. Sympathy

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When we sympathize, we relate an aspect of someone’s story to ourselves. When we empathize, we reflect the feelings and needs of the other. Empathy helps people connect more deeply to their own and another’s pain, and helps resolve issues with clarity and ease. Notice when you're giving someone sympathy rather than empathy.

Making Demands

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
When we ask something of a person and threaten negative repercussions if she doesn’t comply, we're making a demand. Demands limit the possible responses and reduce joyful participation. Instead, look to find mutually satisfying resolutions. And look for ways to change your demand into a request. Read on for more.

A Focus on Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
There are endless ways to meet our needs. Conflict occurs when we argue over strategies. When we actively value everyone’s needs, we foster openness and deeper connection in our relationships. Today look for opportunities to focus on needs in order to resolve an issue with at least one person.

Defining Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
In NVC we define needs as resources that life requires to sustain itself. All human beings have the same needs. The strategy is what we do to meet that need. Strategies are specific; we all choose unique ways to meet our needs. The more we can see the difference between the two, the more likely we are to resolve conflicts with ease. Today, look for opportunities to notice the difference in the...

Four Ways to Hear Any Message

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer tip: In every interaction, we have a choice of responding in one of these four ways: judge/blame self, Judge/blame others, empathize with self, and/or empathize with others. The goal is to make a conscious choice about our response. Notice the choices you have when you receive someone’s communication today.