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NVC Resources on Love


Getting Our Need for Love Met

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: List specific things that would signify love to you. Based on who the other person is and who you are, how could your need for love be met? Being specific is important. General statements, such as “I just want you to love me” or “I would like you to be more attentive and listen to me more” won’t work. (S)he may already think (s)he is attentive. What would being attentive look like...

Letting People Support Us

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/28/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/28/2005
We all love to contribute to others’ lives. We love to offer support because it meets our own needs for contribution, love, caring, and making a difference. For today, admit that you love to support other people, and that you would like support yourself. Let at least one person contribute to your life today. Read on for a related story.

What’s Love Got To Do With It? A Thousand Ways to Say, “I Love You”

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 12/2018
Article
6 - 9 minutes
12/2018
The impulse to say "I love you" is an opportunity to check-in both with our level of presence (eg. are we saying it by rote?) and also with what we really mean in that moment (eg. what are the needs and real purpose deep beneath the word "love"?). This can invite us to explore a deeper, more heartfelt way of communicating and being...

Love in the Time of COVID-19

Article • 7 - 11 minutes • 11/2020
Article
7 - 11 minutes
11/2020
Love keeps the thread of connection intact in times when all around us we see the human fabric becoming threadbare. When we dig deep with love into guessing what others care about that had given rise to their actions, it changes us. It brings us closer to understanding the incomprehensible -- and closer to vision, imagination, humility, curiosity, commonality, and loving action. Read on for...

Taking on the World: How to Become a Change Agent (12 Session Course)

Audio • 14 - 18 hours • 01/16/2011
Audio
14 - 18 hours
01/16/2011
Are you eager to translate your vision of a world where everyone’s needs matter into a tangible reality? Do you long to discover your unique role in responding to the challenges of our times? If, so join Miki for 12 sessions that will propel you on your way! The first session of this course is free for all to enjoy. nvctraining.com

Rooms in the Same House – Interweaving NVC and Buddhism (6 Session Course)

with Roberta Wall with Barbara Bash
Audio • 6 - 8 hours • 4/5/2017
Audio
6 - 8 hours
4/5/2017
Find renewed aliveness and connection in your daily life through NVC and Buddhist Mindfulness practices. NVC can be lived as a Mindfulness Practice and consciousness that helps us be more present, open and loving to the flow of life within ourselves and in relation to others. Buddhist principles and practices can add depth and insight to NVC practice and consciousness. The first session is...

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 13. The Eight Most Powerful Things You Can Do to Build an Inspiring Relationship

Trainer Tip • 4 - 6 minutes • 01/2016
Trainer Tip
4 - 6 minutes
01/2016
What are the most powerful things I can do to build an inspired relationship? I answered the question with romantic relationships in mind; however, I believe the answer below applies to all important relationships.

Do We Stand a Chance?

Article • 5-7 minutes • 09/2020
Article
5-7 minutes
09/2020
With a world in crisis, steeped in incomprehensible violence, how do we then live? What, if anything, could turn this around? If we're all dying, let us die loving everyone, including ourselves and our former enemies. Let us come together behind wanting everyone to be free. Let us align means with ends as we envision a world that, against all odds, moves towards working for all of life. Let us...

Opening to Intimacy

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: Do you have behavioral patterns that block intimacy? When we are feeling our most vulnerable, we often want intimacy but also tend to keep it at bay. Acknowledge your need for intimacy, and find people you can trust to love you as you are.

The Ultimate Romance

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 01/2018
Article
6 - 9 minutes
01/2018
For the ultimate romance to unfold, as an expression of your care for how your words and actions affect others, prioritize digging into your inner work before addressing conflict with them. This means doing the inner work necessary to get to the root of the issue, which can bring bigger shifts, more aliveness, love, creativity, inspiration and compassion. This doesn't mean letting the other...

Healing and Reconciliation (7 Session Course)

Audio • 7 - 9 hours • 01/20/2015
Audio
7 - 9 hours
01/20/2015
Old emotional hurts and pains can easily erupt when you’re in the throes of conflict – even if you’re the mediator. Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could avoid all of that, and instead create more peace and happiness for yourself, your family, your co-workers and your community? The introductory session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy:

The Value of Taking a Step Back

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 2002
Article
6 - 9 minutes
2002
Have you ever gotten a fishing line all tangled up? You got so frustrated you just started yanking on the different loops of line, which of course made the knots and tangles even tighter and more difficult to untangle. Wouldn’t it be great if you could notice the minute you were starting to tangle things up in a discussion with your loved one?

Pain Lasers and Love Lasers

Article • 5 - 7 minutes • 8/2016
Article
5 - 7 minutes
8/2016
In lasers, light bounces between the mirrors, with each pass the light grows more intense. Our minds work similarly. Because of the "mirror" effect, where we can react to our reactions to our reactions to our reactions (and so on), changing our thought pattern even modestly at every level of reaction, can dramatically affect our ultimate experience. Usually the greatest amplifiers are the ones...

Healing Addiction With Unconscious Contract Work

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 01/2020
Article
5 - 8 minutes
01/2020
An addiction to something (eg. opioids, fats, sugars, salts, cigarettes, coffee, alcohol, etc.) or a compulsion (eg. gambling, shopping, working, sex or love addictions) is often an unconscious attempt to soothe trauma - fear, loneliness and shame that's frozen in unconscious memory. The addiction or compulsion is a substitute for what we really need. It is an endless craving that's never...

Healing Worthlessness and Finding Belonging

Article • 4- 6 minutes • 02/2021
Article
4- 6 minutes
02/2021
With worthlessness comes the idea of not belonging or not being worthy of belonging. In this context, belonging is more than an identity with a particular group. It is the sort of belonging that enables you to get other fundamental needs met, including safety, support, nourishment, and love. Unconscious attempts win worthiness and belonging often effectively blocks the very thing its pursuing....

Creating an Internal Secure Base

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 9/2018
Article
5 - 8 minutes
9/2018
We each hold an internal model or set of expectations about how caring and comfort could be accessed in relationship. The ability to reflect upon and challenge our own dominant model of perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors --and to experience discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and...

Releasing Our Judgments

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: It's impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. If we're willing to shift this behavior we can translate our judgments into acknowledging how something affects us. Once I got into the habit of this, my judgments began to subside dramatically. It became easy to love people and feel compassion for them, and I experienced a...

Is Nonviolent Use of Force an Oxymoron?

Article • 37 - 56 minutes • 05/2020
Article
37 - 56 minutes
05/2020
What do we actually mean by “use of force” and what counts as such? Here's a template that will be unpacked in this article: "Use of force is consistent with nonviolence to the extent that we use the least amount of force possible, with the most love possible, aiming at (re)creating conditions for dialogue; that we make the choice using as much nonreactive discernment as possible, with as much...