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NVC Resources on Feelings


Differentiating Between Feelings And Faux Feelings

Learning Tool • N/A • 2013
Learning Tool
N/A
2013
This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”

Feelings vs. Thoughts Vocabulary Builder

Practice Exercise • 10 minutes • 09/11/2018
Practice Exercise
10 minutes
09/11/2018
This ten question exercise will help build your feelings vocabulary. It is helpful to differentiate between words that describe what we think others are doing around us, and words that describe actual feelings. These "faux feelings" often reveal more about how we think others are behaving than what we are actually feeling ourselves. Feeling words are always about us, not the other person.

Feelings vs Interpretations

Article • 1-2 minutes • 04/2020
Article
1-2 minutes
04/2020
Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations.

Evaluations vs. Feelings

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: Beware that your expression of feelings helps you own how you feel, rather than blaming the other person for doing something you see as wrong. Expressing your feelings helps the other person know how deeply this issue affects you. Plus it can bring more clarity and connection to all parties. Read on for more.

The Heart of the Matter: Connecting More Deeply to Your Feelings and Needs

Audio • 2 hours, 21 minutes • 06/24/2008
Audio
2 hours, 21 minutes
06/24/2008
Do you want to increase your capacity to identify and connect with feelings and needs? Would you like to enhance your ability to translate judgments? Join Miki for this deep dive into feelings and needs.

The Cause of Our Feelings

with John Kinyon and Miki Kashtan
Trainer Tip • 3-5 minutes • Circa 2007
Trainer Tip
3-5 minutes
Circa 2007
Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”

A List of Feelings We All Have (Emotions and Sensations)

Learning Tool • N/A • 2019
Learning Tool
N/A
2019
The following list of words are used to express a combination of emotional states and physical sensations. This list is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to help you develop your emotional vocabulary and further support your communication with others.

Feelings Are a Response to Our Met or Unmet Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: Our particular needs and expectations in the moment, influences how we feel. So if you are feeling hurt, sad, angry, or disappointed, try to consider what your unmet needs are, and see if there are other ways you can get them met. Today, track how your needs affect your feelings.

How to Express Feelings

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.

Cause of Feelings

Audio • 13 minutes • 05/2007
Audio
13 minutes
05/2007
Many of us blame other people for our feelings but our own state of needs is the true cause. In this powerful audio, Sylvia teaches you how to manage your emotions in challenging situations and demonstrates the process of Screaming in Giraffe.

Feelings Cards

Learning Tool • 1 - 2 minutes • 1/2010
Learning Tool
1 - 2 minutes
1/2010
Print-and-cut these 56 feelings cards for one-on-one, partner or group activities, to help support the pratice of empathy. Includes eight blank cards for you to customize.