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NVC Resources on Attention



Getting Our Need for Love Met

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: List specific things that would signify love to you. Based on who the other person is and who you are, how could your need for love be met? Being specific is important. General statements, such as “I just want you to love me” or “I would like you to be more attentive and listen to me more” won’t work. (S)he may already think (s)he is attentive. What would being attentive look like...

Practicing Non-Reactivity

Article • 3 - 5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes
For this practice assume that reactivity is arising any time you are distracted and not enjoying something. Practice throughout the day by focusing your attention for a few moments on something specific that you find pleasing. Notice the sensation of joy or pleasure in your body, and hold attention there longer than usual. This interrupts tension and contraction. Keep remembering to do this....

The Radical Act of Reclaiming Attention

Article • 5 - 8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes
Given all that we are facing today as a society and a species, amongst some of the things we need is a well nourished heart. To nourish our hearts we need to discern where to wisely put our attention. Here are three practices to reclaim your attention, and replenish your reserves, so that you have the inner resources to do the work that is calling you. They are: train the mind, nourish the...

Inviting Depth in Conversation

Article • 3 - 5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes
Conversation can become more satisfying with depth. Depth is occurs when connection unfolds towards a depth of intimacy, presence, attunement, sensing -- and silent attentive connection where another is attentively seen and heard. Inviting this level of sharing in conversation relies on at least three major elements: attentive silence, the desire to connect and be known, and focus on present...

Paying Attention In Troubled Times

Article • 5 - 8 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
5 - 8 minutes
Our world is facing stressful times. And the more stress you experience, the less resourced you can become. But consider that you're not messed up, but rather, the challenges you bear is a response to manufactured environments and culture that are more hostile than they are kind towards our human souls and bodies. And so, let’s be clear. Let’s be discerning. Let’s be compassionate. Let’s pay...

Using an Anchor in Self-Empathy

Article • 5 - 8 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes
An anchor awakens parts of you that can access a bigger perspective. Also, it can reduce your reactivity, increase conscious relating, and support self-compassion. An anchor helps you get a little bit bigger than the reactivity you are experiencing so that you can access a wiser discernment. It is simple, and can be done anytime and anywhere. Learn to direct your attention to develop your...

Calling Out / Calling In

Article • 12 - 18 minutes
Advanced Skill Level
Article
12 - 18 minutes
When someone's in immense pain and uses words that are hard to hear, see if you can bring in as much attention and compassion as you would to someone who was cut with a sword. Focusing on what's important to them, and not so much on how it was said. This may support greater understanding and healing. Otherwise, we risk prioritizing needs, norms, and inequities of the dominant culture, over...

Can the Social Order Be Transformed through Personal Practice? The Case of Nonviolent Communication - Part 1 of 2

Article • 15 - 23 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
15 - 23 minutes
By focusing on NVC process and practice without factoring in the interdependent, systemic dimension we unwittingly diminish the power of NVC. We reinforce the dominant paradigm, rather than challenging it -- making NVC one more tool for compliance. NVC principles can turn against its own purpose in cruel ways. NVC could also empower social change. We'll need our attention on this matter if we...

Standing in Your Truth and Setting Boundaries

Article • 8-12 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
8-12 minutes
Unhook from a reactive dynamic, by staying with your needs and requests, and release attachment to outcome. Start by shifting your attention from the other person to get clear on what's true for you. Read on for strategies to transform reactivity, possible boundary setting behaviors, typical signs of escalation, and more.

Heartbreak For Self And The World Holding Our Broken Hearts With Compassion

Article • 3 - 5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes
When we're received with resonant understanding painful moments can lessen their charge and became part of the whole tapestry of life -- important but no longer able to hijack us into the eternal re-run of pain. When held this way, we can touch the memories with our attention the way one touches a newly repaired tooth with the tongue, searching for the old roughness, the old wound, but not...

Connecting with Spiritual Clarity

with Jim Manske
Article • 2 - 3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2 - 3 minutes
We can cultivate spiritual clarity through bringing attention to our intentions, mourning, gratitude, and the dynamic flow of feelings and needs. This can bring more autonomy, choice and liberate the energy of connection and contribution. We can also awaken our hearts to see the reality that our well-being is mutually interdependent. Read on for more.

Empathy Hurdles

Article • 2 pages
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
2 pages
I want to hear others through the lens of the meaning their actions have for them rather than through the effect their actions have on me. The very root of empathy resides in this fundamental shift. Whenever someone’s actions are at odds with our own needs, most of us, most of the time, do the latter. In that way, we keep our attention on ourselves rather than on the other person. We cannot be...

Marshall Rosenberg's Vision of Social Change

Article • 12 - 18 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
12 - 18 minutes
What could be, more often than not, overlooked when we think about or represent NVC or Marshall Rosenberg's work? This article busts some commonly held ideas and approaches to NVC. It challenges us to widen the lens of what it really means to be "life-serving", or speaking and hearing the "language of life". And it also speaks to how thinking can deepen feeling and relatedness...

Why Don’t They Get It?

Article • 5 - 8 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
5 - 8 minutes
What can we do when someone tells us we're contributing to a pattern we're genuinely not seeing (nor experiencing)? What makes these patterns visible to some people but not others? This article addresses these things by talking about what to factor in when receiving feedback; handling feedback; responding relationally; paying attention to social location; considering impact; plus, broadening...