Excellence in online learning since 2006
NVC Library

Search the Library

Search the Library

Search the Library

NVC Resources on Blame


Compassionate Connection: Nonviolent Communication with Children

Article • 12 - 18 minutes • 12/2/2021
Article
12 - 18 minutes
12/2/2021
Every interaction with children contains messages about who they are, who we are, and what life is like. By engaging attachment parenting and NVC we give them rare gifts in society: to know their parents well, to discover the effects of their actions without being blamed for them, and to experience the power of contributing to meeting others' needs, and the power to move towards mutually...

Cause of Feelings

Audio • 13 minutes • 05/2007
Audio
13 minutes
05/2007
Many of us blame other people for our feelings but our own state of needs is the true cause. In this powerful audio, Sylvia teaches you how to manage your emotions in challenging situations and demonstrates the process of Screaming in Giraffe.

Transformative Dialogue

Article • N/A • 1/2010
Article
N/A
1/2010
The less blame and criticism, the easier it is for others to hear us. From this perspective, it’s in our best interest to come from curiosity and care. This way differences can bring us together and help us know one another. The more mutual understanding, the easier it is to work together and find creative solutions. Read on for more on this, with a story about how a black man inspired 200...

Differentiating Between Feelings And Faux Feelings

Learning Tool • N/A • 2013
Learning Tool
N/A
2013
This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”

Increasing Your Capacity to Feel

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 01/2018
Article
4 - 6 minutes
01/2018
What's really going on underneath the surface when we bring or encounter blame, judgements, pain -- and thereby the inability to empathize, be present, attuned, or responsive? Why does this happen even if one or more people in a relationship dynamic is working hard at bringing in an NVC response? This article addresses these and more questions from the perspective of how our brains are affected...

Understanding How Shame Hinders Clear Requests

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 9/24/2021
Article
3 - 5 minutes
9/24/2021
It may be challenging to hear or make requests when you feel shame regarding anyone's feelings and needs. Without support, shame could be debilitating, so you may feel resistant and become defensive, hear threat, or criticize others. Instead, be with people who allow space for vulnerability. Find ways to celebrate, negotiate, be mindful, accepting, and creative.

What is the Shadow?

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 01/2018
Article
4 - 6 minutes
01/2018
What parts of yourself or others are hard to embrace, understand or even notice? What parts do others have difficulty embracing, understanding or noticing? Why do we condemn, loathe, hate, deny, judge, blame or feel shame around certain needs, feelings and parts of self and/or others? This article talks about the hidden parts of ourselves and others that shapes views and behaviours.

Defusing Anger

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 01/25/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
01/25/2005
Trainer Tip: Many of us are afraid of our anger because we haven’t learned how to express it in a way that brings relief or that helps us meet our needs in the situation. Consider a different approach to anger, one that helps you fully express your anger and is more likely to help you meet your needs for relief, to be heard, or to be understood.

Feelings Are a Response to Our Met or Unmet Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005
Trainer Tip: Our particular needs and expectations in the moment, influences how we feel. So if you are feeling hurt, sad, angry, or disappointed, try to consider what your unmet needs are, and see if there are other ways you can get them met. Today, track how your needs affect your feelings.