NVC Resources on Demands

Creating the Life You Want With Powerful Requests (5 Session Course)

Audio • 5 hours, 11 minutes •

Audio
5 hours, 11 minutes

In this telecourse recording, expert trainer Miki Kashtan will help you uncover what prevents you from making requests for everything you want without fear. The class includes daily practices for requests skill building.

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Change Your Response to Conflict — Change Your Life (4 Session Course)

with Ike Lasater and John Kinyon

Audio • 5 hours, 12 minutes •

Audio
5 hours, 12 minutes

Listen to this introductory 4-session Mediate Your Life telecourse recording to change your response to conflict and change your life.

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Transforming Anger: The Enemy Image Process and Learning/Growth Spiral

with John Kinyon

Audio • 1 hour, 11 minutes •

Audio
1 hour, 11 minutes

Transforming anger is a key practice for returning to conscious presence and connection with self and others when triggered into a reaction. Join John Kinyon to learn this essential life skill through the Enemy Image Process and Learning/Growth Spiral.

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Exercise For Saying "No" And Staying Connected

with Jim & Jori Manske

Practice Exercise • 1 - 2 minutes •

Practice Exercise
1 - 2 minutes

Ever have a hard time saying "no" to someone, or feel obligated to say yes? Here's an exercise that can help you notice where you are placing yourself as someone who "has to" say yes; the needs in the other person making the request; what you want to say "yes" to (regarding your needs and theirs) by saying "no"; what prevents you from saying "yes"; plus your request and how you might express it.

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Parenting With A Focus On The Long-Term Goal

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Notice when you're tempted to wield physical, emotional, and intellectual power to get your children to do what you want. This coercion or force may bring short term ease, but long term it can be counterproductive. Ask yourself “What do I want my child to do?” and “What do I want my child’s reasons for doing it to be?”. Then consider ways to help them connect to their intrinsic...

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Find Space Between Needs And Strategies

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Practice Exercise • 4-6 minutes •

Practice Exercise
4-6 minutes

Confidence, flexibility, creativity and equanimity may become more possible when you would like someone to meet a particular need, can trust that you can meet that need with someone else, and can accept a “no” to your requests. You can allow grief or disappointment to arise, and naturally turn towards a relationship in which those needs can be met. In some cases this may lead to the dissolution...

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Anatomy of a Trigger: Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

with Mary Mackenzie

Article • 7-10 minutes •

Article
7-10 minutes

When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger? There may be more than is immediately visible. This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...

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Making Requests Count

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: A request completes the communication by stating specifically what we would like from someone else to meet our need. Without this clarity, our communication can be confusing and can easily be seen as a demand. When people know what you want, you have a better chance of meeting your needs. Make clear, specific, doable requests of people, and see if this increases the chance of...

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Nonviolent Communication Basics

with David K Weinstock

Article • 4 - 6 minutes •

Article
4 - 6 minutes

Here are some very basic forms and distinctions of NVC. It covers the 4 D's, OFNR, some NVC distinctions, tips, quotes from Marshall Rosenberg, and "feelings and needs" lists, and more. As with any art, these rudiments necessarily must be learned, practiced, understood, embodied and then let go of so as not to become rote and block creativity.

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What Makes NVC Hard?

with Sarah Peyton

Article • 3 - 5 minutes •

Article
3 - 5 minutes

Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another. Why? One reason could be that our brains maybe less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship to others...

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An Invitation to Resonance: The Practice of Nonviolent Communication

with Sarah Peyton

Article • 10 - 15 minutes •

Article
10 - 15 minutes

Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another. Why? One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship with others.

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Moving Beyond Needs as Met or Unmet

with Peggy Smith

Article • 5 - 8 minutes •

Article
5 - 8 minutes

Sometimes when we regard needs as something that could be met or unmet by another person or by a situation we unconsciously hold the belief that our needs should be met. Or we end up holding blame or implying wrongdoing. People are more likely to resist a request made from this stance. Instead, here are practices to increasingly losen any remaining attachment or demand energy -- and open our...

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Honor Your Need to be Heard

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article • 2-3 minutes •

Article
2-3 minutes

When you want to be heard, first check if your listener is available. This honors yourself, and the other person’s choice about listening. You need to be clear about wanting a particular quality of listening, and that you are willing to wait if that isn’t available in the moment. Read on for how to ask for listening in a way that can build trust that your request isn't a demand.

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Unpacking OFNR - Requests

with Roxy Manning

Article • 5 - 8 minutes •

Article
5 - 8 minutes

Many believe it's only a true NVC request when we can ask for what we need without urgency or insistence. But what if we're the target of oppression and hate in a world with systemic inequality? Is it still nonviolence to abdicate power by allowing the person enacting harm to be the one to decide whether harm continues? The intensity of the need, degree of harm, and how chronically unmet the...

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Emotionally Exhausted? Try Empathy

with Sarah Peyton

Article • 2 - 4 minutes •

Article
2 - 4 minutes

Living in this ceaselessly demanding world, how do we recover from emotional exhaustion? The hopelessness of not being met in the world can leave us wrung out like an old mop. Our heart rate plummets, our blood pressure and respiration drop, and energy and information processing start slogging along. Instead, we can build the bridge of empathy for greater rejuvenation.

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Repair: Responding To A Lack Of Empathy

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Practice Exercise • 4 -6 minutes •

Practice Exercise
4 -6 minutes

When someone stimulates your pain, you may want them to express care and empathy for your experience. If they're unwilling, you may resent it. You may forget the power of many strategies to meet a need, and you lose your agency. This can lead to reactive habits in you -- such as pleading, demanding, or attacking. Here are reasons you may not be getting an apology or empathy, and what options...

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Recognize and Manage Reactivity About Your Cause

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Practice Exercise • 3 - 5 minutes •

Practice Exercise
3 - 5 minutes

When we care about our cause and want to mitigate disaster, we may become reactive. However, transformation comes through connection, rather than convincing, judging, criticising, controlling, and making demands of others. To inspire change, get curious about how they relate to the topic – and get support for yourself elsewhere to process grief, become more present and compassionate, speak...

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MLK, Nonviolence, and Communication

with John Kinyon

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes •

Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

“Nonviolence” is not just a political tactic. It is a “soul force”. It is the force of love meeting and transforming what appears to not be love. It is speaking and listening with courage, compassion, and an open heart and mind and rooted in our truth in a way that bridges understanding. And doing so without demand nor trying to convince -- all in the face of any anger, fear, oppression,...

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Money, Value, and Our Choices

with Miki Kashtan

Article • 10 - 15 minutes •

Article
10 - 15 minutes

How much money to pay? And how much money to ask for? The supply and demand logic basically say that we ask for the most that “the market can absorb” and pay “the least that we can get away with.” We can instead, we can engage in experiments that focus on connecting to and satisfying needs. We can also engage with our varying degrees of access to resources within the existing economy and...

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Create Mutuality Rather Than Keeping Score

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article • 3 - 5 minutes •

Article
3 - 5 minutes

Where do you feel desperation, resentment, anger about your partner's choices? What do you want to demand of them? Rather than looking for what they're suppose to do, look for your feelings and needs, how would you would respond if you trusted your needs could be met without your partner, and what you choose to do given what your partner offers and does not offer.

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