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NVC Resources on Judgment


Dealing With Disappointment

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 
Article
3 - 5 minutes
Disappointment emerges when there is a gap between what we want, expect or hope for, and what is happening. When this occurs it can be tempting to make someone or the situation wrong. Instead, rather than pushing against the flow of life we can rejoin it, non-judgmentally notice our observations and feelings. Plus we can nurture acceptance and mourning. We can also remember that what's...

Working With Anger: An Exercise

Practice Exercise • 2 -3 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
2 -3 minutes
Fully connecting to the deeper need under the anger can transform and release the anger, without requiring the other person to do anything differently. From there, you can reach an understanding of the other person's experience, feelings and needs underlying the actions that stimulated your anger to re-establish connection with your own and the other person's humanity.

Understanding Judgement And Criticism

Practice Exercise • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
4 - 6 minutes
Judging or criticizing others indicates pain, unmet needs and a coping strategy. It distracts you from yourself and can give you the illusion of control. You may think you see more than they do, imagining criticism will bring change. But even a correct analysis won’t inspire change if they hear criticism. Instead, the moment you notice judgments or criticism turn towards yourself with...

Unappreciated is NOT a Feeling

Video • 2 minutes • 
Video
2 minutes
Unappreciated, Judged, Disrespected, Offended, Manipulated... people use these words to describe feelings but these are all words that describe interpretations instead. They're also words that get people's backs up. Talk about unproductive! The solution? Develop a vocabulary of feelings so you can minimize defensiveness in others and facilitate connection.

Exercise On Self Responsibility

Practice Exercise • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
1 - 2 minutes
Self responsibility is owning what's yours. It involves identifying your observations, evaluations, feelings, longings, and more. When we identify what's truly ours we are unlikely to mistake it as coming from outside of us. Self responsibility is not self blame. Without self responsibility, we project, blame and judge. Self-responsibility is central to clarity and full self-awareness. This...

I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: We have a better chance of getting our needs met if we prioritize connecting with one another's needs more than being right. This way we can reduce the chances of conflict arising. We also increase the possibility we can find ways everyone’s needs can be met.

Focusing on Where We Are the Same

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Our differences are not in our needs, but in how we attempt to meet them. This simple truth can help you lessen the conflicts in your life and your judgments of other people. Rather than focus on where you disagree, focus on where you are the same. This shift can make a profound difference in your ability to understand yourself and other people, and to bring unity to your life.

Anatomy of a Trigger: Change Your Focus and Improve the Outcome

Article • 7-10 minutes • 
Article
7-10 minutes
When you or anyone is upset, what could underneath the trigger? There may be more than is immediately visible. This article invites us to explore what it looks like to inquire deeper, take self-responsibility, examine our assumptions, attachments, interpretations, and "certainties" that could be hidden behind the needs that are aching to be attended to...

Balancing All Needs as a NVC Facilitator (yours, individuals members and in a group)

Video • 1 hour, 36 minutes • 
Video
1 hour, 36 minutes
Ever wondered how to balance everyone’s needs when leading a NVC group? In the first part of the video, Mary shares tips how to balance the facilitator's, the individuals members' and the group's needs. In the second part, Mary talks about transparency as a facilitator - what does it mean, what does it look like and how to be transparent in a way that is supportive for the group.

Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Our inner critic judges ourselves and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when we begin to make a change. It holds wisdom for us if we are willing to listen. When we acknowledge our inner critic and empathize with its need, we gain insights into ourselves and we clear the way for resolution.