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Most of us subject ourselves to so many painful mental jabs and they seldom stimulate helpful change. We can be like a frustrated animal trainer repeatedly whipping an animal, without ever helping the animal to understand what behavior is wanted or offering encouragement. Instead, punishing thoughts can be stepping stones to awareness. We can focus on sensing what we're really aspiring to. This...

Is it dangerous for large numbers of people to be absorbing disturbing news alone? Given the intensity of our times, making choices based on conscious awareness and discernment in relation to current events is essential for our ability to stay engaged, and to also wisely meet our collective challenges with agency and power. Here are five tips for how to help stay sane in relation to the news...

During a crisis like the COVID-19 pandemic, we can draw upon inner and outer resources: gratitude, awareness of our senses and breath, plus compassion for self and others. We can also expand our understanding to curtail fear -- and limit the amount of time and energy we spend fighting and resisting the truth of what’s happening.

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Practice Exercise

3 - 5 minutes

Making a decision or boundary that invites someone to be honest about their feelings can be difficult. Remember that lack of authenticity may be due to lack of awareness, inner conflict, or fear of conflict, rather than dishonesty. Offer empathy and reassurance and invite more conversation. Approach with compassion and curiosity to naturally invite more honesty.

When we have privilege, we can have access to resources resulting from legal or social norms related to membership in a group -- independent of any (in)action, awareness of the disparity, the potential benefits to us, or the costs to others. Unhelpful ways of engaging with privilege are: denial/invisibility, guilt/shame, defensiveness, and entitlement. Helpful ways of engaging are: owning...

Setting boundaries takes being firmly grounded in self-respect and clear about what works for you. This means making conscious choices about how you relate to another or behave in a situation. Such clarity allows you to put your attention and energy where you want it to go. Thus we can have care and compassion without taking responsibility for others, nor feeling guilty when we say “no”. This...

Awareness of how we're holding our own and others' needs is important to our development. In learning to value needs, we often go through three stages: passive, aggressive/obnoxious, and assertive/mutual. As we learn and grow, we may relate to the following differently: Whose feelings and needs are important, who is responsible for what, how our choices impact others, and consideration for...

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Practice Exercise

1-2 minutes

This exercise brings forth presence, awareness, and witnessing regarding what you observe. And also the inner form of experiencing: thinking, feeling, sensing, longing, and noticing any inner resistance. This exercise is designed to allow self-compassion to clear the inner space, and to help you feel it as a flow of energy, presence to the other, and bring in a more relaxed experience and more...

Nonviolent Communication at its core is about the quality of connection that will lead to everybody's needs being met. In this months 'Purpose of NVC' episode, we ask ourselves five questions that help us gain an awareness of where Nonviolent Communication is being used.

However indirectly expressed, any judgement or criticism is about the person's own thoughts, feelings, needs, and requests.This awareness can help you take people's comments less personally, and give you options: silent self-empathy, standing in your truth, contact and curiosity, and honest expression.

There are healers and therapists who see climate anxiety as a pathology. Instead, we can see it as an understandable reaction to the magnitude of the environmental problems that surround us. And we can see it as a subset of eco-anxiety: a feeling of worry, nervousness or unease triggered by an awareness of the ecological threats facing the earth due to climate catastrophe. Read on for tips on...

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Practice Exercise

5 - 7 minutes

Anger is neither good nor bad. When you don't foresee it or you haven't cultivated a relationship to anger, you may behave from it and hurt yourself and others. There are three reasons anger may rise: primitive anger, resistance, and lack of resources. For practicing with these last two types of anger, we'll look at four practices: cultivate awareness, pause and expand, self-care and planning,...

Getting "feel good" empathy can become an addiction. Even to the point of seeing people who don't offer empathy as "not being NVC". Rachelle urges us to notice how this view of NVC can be seductive, and even dangerous. In this article, she explains how we can expand our compassionate awareness when we go beyond equating NVC with harmony and empathy. She asks us to become more open to noticing...

This anecdote illustrates how a young man had the social awareness to consider how male conditioning may bring up competitiveness in his interactions with another man. The young man offered transparency and checked for consent in a way that shows an embodiment of power-with, togetherness, consideration, care, collaboration... and all without displaying any formal NVC training, and without...

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Trainer Tip

2-3 minutes

We only have this decade to make radical changes to avert crossing over into an unlivable Earth. What's essential is a critical mass of people with capacity to respond to many enormous, daunting social-environmental challenges. This means on a wider scale, responding to conflict, fear, hate, injustice and violence with the ability to see our commonality underlying our differences. And to feel...

Join Jim and Jori Manske in a thought experiment exercise designed to help us become more aware of our conditioning, allowing us to make more conscious and connected choices in the face of conflict.

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Learning Tool

30 - 60 minutes

Use these cards in your practice group or NVC training to understand 4 different ways of responding to hard to hear messages. Become aware of the way you habitually respond to stimulus and develop skills to respond with empathy and express honestly.

Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities to be honest holding the intention to connect with people. If you do this with the elements of brevity, directness, and respect, you can increase your chances of being heard. If they don't like your honesty, consider switching to empathizing with them by listening to their feelings and needs.

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Article

4 - 6 minutes

In this written transcript of a live presentation, Inbal Kashtan shares how she first became aware of poverty. She explains how empathy is a vital and powerful force for creating peace in our world today, and a powerful means of creating a world that works for all of us.

In a "power with" consciousness you're aware of, and responsible for, your needs and values while considering and hearing others needs. Whereas regarding someone with earned authority, you trust her capacity and discernment is based on her experience and expertise. Read on for signs of when you are slipping into power under, power over, or power with, and how that fits with earned authority.