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In Yoram’s 2021 course, participants delved deeper into their NVC practice so they were better prepared to meet conflict head-on. In this 5-session series, Yoram explores: the power of empathy to change the trajectory of heated conversations embracing the internal conflicts of the different parts of ourselves how to approach differing views peacefully the use of NVC to help let go of judgments...

Blame is a misguided habit that's used to avoid pain and suffering, offering only a momentary distraction and oversimplifies complex histories. It also disconnects us from choice and agency, blocks us from discovering more about ourselves and others, and can keep us from having compassionate, self responsible conversations. Instead, we can practice speaking in terms of impact and notice our...

David explores how movement helps you hold your center when navigating challenging conversations. Example: Move to Wind ~ to calm your system; Move to Ground ~ to notice the ground on which you stand; and Step to Shikaku ~ step behind to practice empathic listening. Listen Now.

Receiving anger from another can be a reactive trigger for many of us. In this brief segment, Arnina provides us a strategy for staying in the conversation instead of physically leaving.

A lot of us picked up new hobbies and learning new things during the COVID lockdown. After recently posting a puzzle on Facebook, Shantigarbha ended up being delightfully surprised at the conversation it began around NVC in relation to learning and education. Watch the video to hear our tips and click see more for the solution to the padlock puzzle below. My solution to the padlock puzzle: 042...

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Notice where you're judging or blaming people for not meeting your needs. Strive instead to notice and name the related feelings and needs longing to be met. Ask a question to check with the other person about what they want and need. This can open up the conversation towards mutually beneficial solutions.

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Practice Exercise

2-3 minutes

Often, honoring someone’s choice supports more connection. Thus, checking in with someone’s choice to listen or not (offering autonomy) sets the stage for being heard more fully. On the other hand, when someone has the perception that you are talking to them without considering their choice, resentful listening might result. Here are ways to mindfully check in about choiceful listening before...

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Practice Exercise

3 - 5 minutes

Making a decision or boundary that invites someone to be honest about their feelings can be difficult. Remember that lack of authenticity may be due to lack of awareness, inner conflict, or fear of conflict, rather than dishonesty. Offer empathy and reassurance and invite more conversation. Approach with compassion and curiosity to naturally invite more honesty.

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Article

12-18 minutes

The notion of "micro-aggressions" may be levied by those in the dominant class - for example white folks may talk about receiving micro-aggressions when a (legitimately) angry BIPOC references them as "white". This shuts down the conversation and feeds a myth that everyone's pain about race is equal. It doesn't foster dialogue that moves us towards a more equitable, compassionate world. Read on...

In groups, relationships and society we may not want to dominate or take away from others’ access to power, to choice, to participation in decisions, nor to shaping the vision and direction of the dynamic. And yet how do we do it anyway without knowing it? Discover how privilege operates on a societal level and becomes so invisible in groups. Learn why the conversation is usually excruciating...

Has someone ever talked to you to the extent that you're no longer enjoying it, and you now wonder if they even know you're there? Learn ways to bring in emotional understanding, engage more honestly and open-heartedly, and bridge next steps to the type of conversation that engages everyone's needs.

When you have intrusive thoughts about yourself and feel ‘crummy,’ Ike recommends using the Chooser / Educator map as a guide to lead you out of the primitive part of your brain and back to your prefrontal cortex. Both the Chooser and the Educator want to contribute to your well being, but in different ways. This map facilitates having a positive conversation with them.

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Trainer Tip

2 - 3 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "Could you share a list of types of requests, with examples of each and a possible strategy for formulating requests in conversation?"

In our internal conversations, some voices dominate others, which can leave us feeling fragmented or overwhelmed. But when we dive beneath the surface and really listen to our many parts, we connect vulnerably to our full humanity.

Trainer Tip: Even if we don't agree, acknowledging others' realities can help demonstrate that we're including their feelings and needs in the conversation. Creating space for your reality and theirs can also bring a sense of connection, understanding, inclusion, abundance and fullness in life. Try it today. Read on for an example.

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Trainer Tip

3 - 5 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "I feel a lot of fear or nervousness about approaching a neighbor who uses 'wastebasket talk.' Once she's engaged, there are only two techniques that interrupt the flow: leaving or interrupting."

Who does not want to be understood? In Tip #6, Eric shows you how to deepen connection and trust by checking your understanding with the person you are conversing with.

Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities today to choose empathizing over arguing with someone who is angry, and notice how it affects your ability to resolve the situation. Read on for more.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: We often find ourselves slipping into old behaviors that we would rather change. This is because we don’t have a new plan for responding to the same old situations. In that case, notice whether you are slipping into old behaviors today. Connect to your unmet needs and then identify a new strategy for the situation.

How excited do you get about connecting with people who are proving themselves right and who act like they know it all? Do you prefer the company of not-knowers who are in awe of the mystery of life and exploring with humility and innocent curiosity? Masking our vulnerability in not-knowing can point to deep wounds inside us, where perhaps the common denominator is our desire to prove our worth.