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Trainer Tip: Research shows long-term change comes when people have intrinsic desire to change. Extrinsic motivation is temporary and often only lasts while we're observed (eg. driving the speed limit when police are there). Notice where you're mostly intrinsically or extrinsically motivated. How does this feel? For instance, do you call mom because you want to connect with her? Or because...

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Practice Exercise

30 minutes

Building your body and mind awareness can help you better regulate/calm your emotions. Regular self-empathy will help you better regulate your emotions as well as increase your body and mind awareness. If you are not aware of amygdala activation (fight/flight/freeze response), you will react instead of responding with choice. Use this eight-step process to develop your self-empathy/regulation...

Children interpret and create meaning from everything they observe. They form a narrative about themselves and their place in the world. Roxy Manning shares how the stories of parents contribute to this narrative. Roxy shares a personal story where she, in an attempt to highlight her son's intellectual gifts, unintentionally influenced him to believe he couldn't do things on his own and wasn't...

When you attempt to make a request what limiting beliefs come up? See if you recognize any from this list. Then compassionately observe your body sensations, impulses, feelings, needs, memories, energy, and images. In making the request ensure your request is connected to your needs, is doable, what you want, and not attached to them saying yes.

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Practice Exercise

1-2 minutes

This exercise brings forth presence, awareness, and witnessing regarding what you observe. And also the inner form of experiencing: thinking, feeling, sensing, longing, and noticing any inner resistance. This exercise is designed to allow self-compassion to clear the inner space, and to help you feel it as a flow of energy, presence to the other, and bring in a more relaxed experience and more...

If you're interested in learning specifically how and what you can do to live compassionately – with plenty of hands-on practice time – this course is for you. Observe actual demonstrations of Robert guiding participants through the transformational territory of healing and integration.

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Trainer Tip

2 - 3 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "I am wondering what to do with a judgment that is expressed by someone about me. In these situations I can't find the unmet need they are expressing (other than perhaps significance)."

Inbal answers a parent's question about praise and offers a perspective on how praise translates into the NVC framework.

Learn when to use the two types of requests in the practice of Nonviolent Communication: Action Requests and Connection Requests. Both are important when working through conflict or difficult situations and for building connection.

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Learning Tool

1 - 2 minutes

This single-page handout illustrates the steps to translating habitual judgments and actions into observations, feelings, needs, and requests (OFNR).

Expressing ourselves honestly is sometimes scary because we can't predict where the conversation will go after we've made ourselves vulnerable. This recording will demonstrate how the power of our honesty is enhanced by ending on a clear and present request.

Trainer Tip: When do we move from using the formal 4-step process of NVC to a more idiomatic, natural-sounding expression? Whenever we're ready!

Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities to be honest holding the intention to connect with people. If you do this with the elements of brevity, directness, and respect, you can increase your chances of being heard. If they don't like your honesty, consider switching to empathizing with them by listening to their feelings and needs.

Miki works with a course participant to transform begrudging attendance at a mandatory meeting into the possibility for collaboration, more connection where little is expected and focus on clarity of purpose for meeting in the first place.

Even leaders we admire may exhibit behaviors that could be labeled as abusive, at least slightly. This includes not treating followers as equals, using charm, and hiding or twisting truth. In such scenarios a key reason for this is loneliness. If we're using our work and position primarily to gain for appreciation, acknowledgement, and acceptance then we need to examine our own loneliness. We...

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John Kinyon and Miki Kashtan

Trainer Tip

3-5 minutes

Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”

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Trainer Tip

3 - 5 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "At one point in my practice, it was brought to my attention that some people find the use of 'formal NVC' off-putting, or mechanical. Do you have any input or insight into this?"

Who does not want to be understood? In Tip #6, Eric shows you how to deepen connection and trust by checking your understanding with the person you are conversing with.

The NVC Circle of Life is a mandala illustrating the process and consciousness of Nonviolent Communication. Mandala literally means "sacred circle" and symbolizes wholeness, balance and harmony.

Trainer Tip: Making a request is critical because it can greatly lessen any tension in the situation. Plus, it can clarify for you and the people in your life what it would take to meet your need. Make at least one specific and doable request to someone today.