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New NVC Library
Learning Resources

New NVC Library
Learning Resources

Use of Consequences to Change Behavior

Trainer Tip  • 7 minutes • Circa 2007
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
7 minutes

Ask the Trainer: How do I respond to people who believe that consequences are necessary to change behavior?


Understanding I’m Not Responsible for Another's Feelings

with Jeff Brown
Trainer Tip  • 2-3 minutes • Circa 2007
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2-3 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "I understand that I'm not responsible for someone else's feelings, but my girlfriend doesn't. Do you have ideas for how I could get her to understand this concept?"


The Cause of Our Feelings

Trainer Tip  • 3-5 minutes • Circa 2007
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
3-5 minutes

Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”


Embracing Jackal Thoughts

Trainer Tip  • 2 - 3 minutes • Circa 2007
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "In trainings I say our jackals are thoughts and now I've come to wonder if all thoughts are jackals...?"


Judging Feelings

Trainer Tip  • 12 minutes • Circa 2007
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
12 minutes

Ask the Trainer: Is it a good idea to use NVC on persistent guilt, anger or depression without the aid of others?


Meeting Needs While Caretaking

Trainer Tip  • 7 minutes • Circa 2007
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
7 minutes

Ask the Trainer: Can all needs be met when illness limits the capacity of one person to meet the needs of her partner?


How to Interrupt

with Jeff Brown
Trainer Tip  • 3 - 5 minutes • Circa 2007
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
3 - 5 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "I feel a lot of fear or nervousness about approaching a neighbor who uses 'wastebasket talk.' Once she's engaged, there are only two techniques that interrupt the flow: leaving or interrupting."


How to Interact with an Angry Practice Group Member

Trainer Tip  • 2 - 3 minutes • 2007
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
  • Ask the Trainer: “I would like some suggestions on how to interact with a member of the practice group I started. This individual speaks and acts in a manner I interpret as angry and controlling.”

How to Use NVC with Talkative Friends

Trainer Tip  • 21 minutes • 07/2008
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
21 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "Could you explore why people 'talk too much' and how I could connect with them and myself empathically when I'm also talking too much?"


Past Stories, Present Feelings

Trainer Tip  • 2 - 3 minutes • Circa 2007
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "I have noticed that sometimes when I am in a story-telling mood I am usually trying to prove that I am right and once I connect with a need the urge to give all the information goes away."