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CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan helps a man whose ex-spouse reacted strongly to his attempt at empathizing with her. Miki shows us how it’s possible to hide behind our empathic expression, creating less rather than more connection. She suggests instead that we be vulnerably authentic.

Join Jim Manske for practice exercises that will help you navigate away from reactivity toward a more compassionate way of being in the world, and learn to express vulnerable honesty(scary honesty} .

Join Jori and Jim Manske to explore, learn and practice the art of receiving the word "no," re-framing it from fear into fun.

Join Jori and Jim Manske to explore, learn and practice an NVC approach to mourning and celebration.

Celebrate love with Rodger Sorrow! Listen in as Rodger discusses a range of topics such as defining love, religion and love, and how to handle unloving responses.

Delve into the power of forgiveness with Rodger Sorrow! Listen in as Rodger explores 3 areas: asking for forgiveness, when it's hard to forgive, and forgiving ourselves.

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Video

1 hour, 4 minutes

In this vintage NVC video, Bridget Belgrave, CNVC Certified Trainer from the United Kingdom, uses a Powerpoint presentation to demonstrate the key principles of Nonviolent Communication. Starting with needs at the center, Bridget builds a visual structure of the NVC process. This resource has been newly remastered to a larger, higher quality video.

Jori and Jim Manske offer a process they call "The Zero Step," encompassing the characteristics of warmth toward self and other, care for the vitality of both yourself and other(s), wonder/interest, vulnerability and empathy, which leads directly to connection requests and an openness to outcome.

Nonviolent Communication includes a practice of empathy that involves listening for feelings and needs no matter how someone expresses themselves, and reflecting back the feelings and needs when it is helpful to do so. You can reflect back in a traditional NVC manner, or in a more creative way, with metaphors.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: Notice how the exact same actions can stimulate different feelings depending on if your needs are met or unmet. So while what people say or do is the stimulus, the actual cause of our feelings comes from our met or unmet needs. Read on for more on this.

Often patients need enough emotional space to reduce any inner stuckness in their situation. They need to do this before they can adequately absorb information or effectively take next steps. Empathy can help with this. Empathy requires an intention to connect non-judgmentally. This gets better with practice. Read on for examples of how a situation can play out with, and without, empathy. And...

Trainer Tip: Violence results from thinking that others caused our pain and deserve to be punished. The cause of our feelings is related to our own needs in the moment. What happened is the stimulus. Notice this when you are tempted to blame other people for your feelings, and try to discover your unmet needs.

How do you know when you’re projecting disowned parts or replaying old relationship dynamics? It’s hard to know for sure, but if you find yourself upset or shutting down and unable to have a dialogue in which you can speak clearly about your feelings and needs and empathize with the other’s feelings and needs, there is likely a projection. The stronger your reaction, the more likely you are...

During the holiday season we may find ourselves taking responsibility for other's feelings, which can lead to guilt, shame, depression, and resentment. These feelings are exacerbated by the habitual pattern we call the "Vortex of Submission" (being hooked by a sense of duty and obligation). Read on for ways to recognize and break the pattern.

Trainer tip: Empathy is about being present to a person’s feelings and needs. It is acknowledging another’s experience, not necessarily agreeing with it. If you have a different opinion than another, empathize with her first. Then, state your feelings and needs with regard to the situation.

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Practice Exercise

3-5 minutes

Anger is a sign that you're resisting what's happening because you perceive an overwhelming threat, not trusting yourself to handle what's happening directly. Vulnerable feelings under anger are usually fear, hurt, or grief. Experiencing and expressing these feelings and connecting them to your needs, gives you access to more skill, insight, compassion, and wisdom. Read on for 3 questions to...

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: We have four choices of how to respond to someone, even when they say things that are hard to hear. We can blame the speaker, blame ourselves, we can self empathize by acknowledging our feelings and needs, or we can empathize with the other person's feelings and needs. Be aware of these options and consciously make your choice based on the needs you want to meet.

Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at...

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Practice Exercise

2 pages

This exercise is most often the first activity in a beginning level workshop after the usual logistics/history/check-in. Penny Wassman experiences it as an opportunity for people to build connection with one another.

Join Jim Manske as he leads you through a self-connection exercise to guide you toward welcoming whatever enters into your awareness.