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In the Spotlight: Anger

NVC and Parenting"Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value." - Marshall Rosenberg, PhD.

"Anger is a signal that you’re distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored."  - Marshall Rosenberg, PhD.
Quotes by PuddleDancer Press. 

In this month Spotlight, you will find a selection of videos, audios and articles about anger, its importance, how to deal with your own anger and someone else's. You can start with the featured video of Arnina Kashtan "I Want to Leave When Facing Anger" as she provides a strategy for staying in the conversation when facing anger instead of physically leaving.

The Mobilizing Power of Anger

Article •  3-5 minutes • 
All Skill Levels
Article
3-5 minutes

Anger can result in violence or in a movement towards positive change. We can see this happen in the push for racial justice. When you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective narrows and old conditioning can take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence. Read on for four ways to to respond to our own or others' anger in a way that mobilizes desired change.


How To Listen and Find Aliveness in Containment

Article •  5-9 minutes • 
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5-9 minutes

Physical distancing is opportunity to creatively to meet your needs in new ways. In this containment, with very few cues from others and the environment you now have a rare opportunity with less external distraction to rethink what's truly supportive -- and make significant changes to the less noticable habits of mind, standards and "should's". Applying questions and noticing certain symptoms can support. Read on for more.


Pain Lasers and Love Lasers

Article •  5 - 7 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 7 minutes

In lasers, light bounces between the mirrors, with each pass the light grows more intense. Our minds work similarly. Because of the "mirror" effect, where we can react to our reactions to our reactions to our reactions (and so on), changing our thought pattern even modestly at every level of reaction, can dramatically affect our ultimate experience.  Usually the greatest amplifiers are the ones we notice the least.  Learn what to notice -- to amplify more love rather than pain.


The Ultimate Romance

Article •  6 - 9 minutes • 
All Skill Levels
Article
6 - 9 minutes

For the ultimate romance to unfold, as an expression of your care for how your words and actions affect others, prioritize digging into your inner work before addressing conflict with them.  This means doing the inner work necessary to get to the root of the issue, which can bring bigger shifts, more aliveness, love, creativity, inspiration and compassion.  This doesn't mean letting the other person get away with unhealthy behaviour.


What is the Shadow?

Article •  4 - 6 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

What parts of yourself or others are hard to embrace, understand or even notice?  What parts do others have difficulty embracing, understanding or noticing?  Why do we condemn, loathe, hate, deny, judge, blame or feel shame around certain needs, feelings and parts of self and/or others? This article talks about the hidden parts of ourselves and others that shapes views and behaviours.


Are You Living Your True Potential?

Article •  5-8 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5-8 minutes

How can we live up to our true potential, a life filled with relationships and experiences that truly meet our needs? In this article, Mary offers us a way to bring about inner transformation that can lead to seeing ourselves, others and life differently -- for greater agency, empowerment and choice.


"I'm Not Good Enough" and Other Leadership Myths

Article •  7-11 mins • 
All Skill Levels
Article
7-11 mins

Do you yearn to step forward in leadership, but know you're holding back? Clinical psychologist, organizational consultant, and speaker, Roxy Manning, PhD, shows us that more than external factors, its our internal beliefs and fears that provide the main barrier to moving forward.  She does this by taking us through three myths of leadership, and weaves in anecdotes to illustrate how tapping our unique (often lesser recognized) qualities, can be the way forward we've been seeking. Learn ways to move forward, even if at first it appears that (1.) others can "do it better", (2.) you need to be more prepared, or even if (3.) the material you're conveying isn't so original (and has been used many times).


Nonviolence in the Face of Hatred

Article •  14 - 21 minutes • 
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
14 - 21 minutes

When Anita's sister reveals that the Ku Klux Klan broke into her home and dragged her out into a field towards a burning cross, Anita's commitment to nonviolence is challenged. Here, Miki highlights practices and lessons from her story of inner struggle -- including an insight about how, even in extreme polarization, our freedom and healing is wrapped up in others' freedom and healing.


Attending to Inner Conflict

Article •  13 - 19 minutes • 
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
13 - 19 minutes

When we have an inner conflict, how can we bring ourselves closer where we want to be? Miki explains about how we can deepen our self understanding in a way that can transform our own reactivity, urges, and false either/or views -- so that we can bring in more presence, choice, and options.


Common Ground…How?

Audio •  14 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
14 minutes

Speaking with a united head, heart, and body is the epitome of internal NVC work. HOW do you get there? Listen as David demonstrates his formula for connecting all three areas: 1) ignition; 2) get the big picture; and 3) Break it down: practice, correct, practice, correct!


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