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Article

5 - 8 minutes

This article outlines a four-part transformation process to help us recognize what's giving rise to our suffering and resentment -- and transform it into more freedom, creativity, and choice.

What could be, more often than not, overlooked when we think about or represent NVC or Marshall Rosenberg's work? This article busts some commonly held ideas and approaches to NVC. It challenges us to widen the lens of what it really means to be "life-serving", or speaking and hearing the "language of life". And it also speaks to how thinking can deepen feeling and relatedness...

How can we live up to our true potential, a life filled with relationships and experiences that truly meet our needs? In this article, Mary offers us a way to bring about inner transformation that can lead to seeing ourselves, others and life differently -- for greater agency, empowerment and choice.

Could our "need for autonomy" be getting in the way of "partnership consciousness" (as NVC is sometimes called). Could "autonomy" also block healthy relationships with not only ourselves and with others, but also with the planet? This article invites us to consider how "autonomy" may colour our NVC practice at the peril of our critical values. Values such as our care for impact, shared...

When we have few external resources (money, time, health connections, etc), we can still empower ourselves and one another. We can strengthen our internal resources, inspire people to join our cause, build solidarity, and influence others who have external resources to support us and our causes.

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Jared Finkelstein and Lore Baur

Video

1 hour, 4 minutes

What do you experience when you give up on needs that are important to you, and are coerced into doing something you didn’t want to do? And why is it hard to make requests? Listen in and learn more.

Join Linda Mia Mukte (formerly Rysenbry), CNVC Certified Trainer, for this uniquely powerful telecourse recording that blends NVC with Dr. Sue Johnson’s empirically validated work on adult love relationships called EFCT: Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.

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Learning Tool

00:28 hours:minutes

This self-assessment matrix is a concrete step toward naming and clarifying many skills that you may find valuable in your life. We suggest you periodically assess your skills to track your progress.

If you dread family gatherings because of family tensions, you can find ways to excavate through piles of hardened judgments and hopelessness, build on your inner strength, and engage with family conflicts with open-hearted curiosity, greater presence, and connecting with what really matters to everyone.

Jim and Jori discuss sharing power through exploring our experience of having and not having power, how we make choices about our power and examining our relationship to power itself.

Jim and Jori offer practical tools to help us develop patience through a process they call WAIT: Wake up, Accept, Insight, Take a step.

Jim leads a self-connection exercise focused on how our lives are interwoven with people we love, acquaintances, people unknown to us, and even those who have come before us or will come after us.

What have you lost this year during this COVID-19 pandemic? Are you grieving too? Recognition of loss can helped contextualize our emotions. When we can meet grief with understanding, patience and tenderness, when we create space to mourn our losses -- and to begin to process, heal and metabolize loss. This can help us make sense of change and orient to a new reality. Grief is a longing for...

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

There are endless ways to meet our needs. Conflict occurs when we argue over strategies. When we actively value everyone’s needs, we foster openness and deeper connection in our relationships. Today look for opportunities to focus on needs in order to resolve an issue with at least one person.

Trainer tip: It's often easy for us to hear rejection when someone says “no” to us. If we focus on the rejection, we may feel hurt and fail to take the time to understand what is going on with them. However, if we focus on their feelings and needs, we're more likely to uncover what they want and what prevents them. To increase success in resolving conflicts and find solutions that work for...

The way we talk to one another, and think about or react to our lives, may seem "normal" but eventually, this may reach a point where we realize something isn't working, and we make adjustments. But often the suffering continues if we aren't addressing root causes. In studying NVC we can become more aware of what we are doing and its effects -- plus imagine and implement alternatives that lead...

Most of us subject ourselves to so many painful mental jabs and they seldom stimulate helpful change. We can be like a frustrated animal trainer repeatedly whipping an animal, without ever helping the animal to understand what behavior is wanted or offering encouragement. Instead, punishing thoughts can be stepping stones to awareness. We can focus on sensing what we're really aspiring to. This...

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: Why do NVC practitioners sometimes use the jackal as a metaphor in the NVC world? What can it teach us? Read on for more.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Only after we connect to our unmet need can we make sound decisions that will transform our experience. For example, if you feel bored, connect to your unmet needs (eg. need for understanding the relevance, etc) and then look for strategies that will meet them (eg. ask the speaker how this topic relates to our lives).

What would the world be like if there was flow between all of us based on "mutual giving from the heart"? Using examples, this article offers models for us to follow that could inspire us to treat our NVC practice as one of compassionate giving and receiving.