Excellence in online learning since 2006

Create Mutuality Rather Than Keeping Score

Article •  3 - 5 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

Where do you feel desperation, resentment, anger about your partner's choices? What do you want to demand of them? Rather than looking for what they're suppose to do, look for your feelings and needs, how would you would respond if you trusted your needs could be met without your partner, and what you choose to do given what your partner offers and does not offer.


What About Psychopaths?

Article •  4 - 6 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

Sometimes we want to avoid placing our love and trust in someone, to protect our hearts and our life energies. And so there are deeper questions that we can use to check whether we're in relationship with someone who doesn't have capacity to be in relationship with us (eg. “Do I have a sense of mattering in this relationship?”). Read on for more questions we use to assess our empathy and efforts in relationships.


How to Invite Shared Vulnerability

Article •  3-4 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3-4 minutes

Shared vulnerability can build more intimacy, mutuality, being seen and heard, empathy, or community. Inviting shared vulnerability means earning another’s trust that you can consistently offer attentive, curious, and compassionate listening. Here are four strategies to invite shared vulnerability.


The Gift of Compassionate Giving

with Jim Manske
Article •  5 - 8 minutes • 
Introductory Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

What would the world be like if there was flow between all of us based on "mutual giving from the heart"? Using examples, this article offers models for us to follow that could inspire us to treat our NVC practice as one of compassionate giving and receiving.


Working with Subtle Boundary Violations

Article •  7-11 minutes • 
Applied NVC
Article
7-11 minutes

Subtle boundary violations are more difficult to catch and name in the moment, than obvious boundary violations. Becoming more aware of these moments and finding the words to set a boundary are critical to supporting healthy relating long-term. Three categories of subtle boundary violations are (1.) lack of mutuality, (2.) voice tone and volume, and (3.) speaking for or about someone. Read on to learn more about all three.