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Connecting with Ourselves: An NVC Foundation for Inner Trust and Freedom

Article  • 4 - 6 minutes • 01/2009
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

True inner freedom arises from self-connection. Without self-connection, we're mostly acting from habits, and those habits do not necessarily attend to our own needs. Here's a practice you can explore in your daily life to deepen your relationship with yourself, and experience true choice and inner freedom.


How To Resource In The Expansive Perspective

Article  • 2-3 minutes • 04/2020
All Skill Levels
Article
2-3 minutes

In the face of stress you can find ways to be present for what’s happening, rather than being pulled or pushed around by anxious thoughts or fearful feelings. Here are some strategies to return to and maintain expanded awareness.


Empathy Buddy Guidelines

Article  • 2 - 3 minutes • 1/2010
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2 - 3 minutes

Here are some guidelines and agreements for creating empathy buddy sessions. Includes a list of blocks to empathy.


Empathy vs. Investigation

Article  • 4-6 minutes • 12/2018
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4-6 minutes

To tell the difference between empathy and investigation, watch for distinctions along four different dimensions: energy, subject, intention and trust. These distinctions can help us engage awareness and skill to meet your needs and respond to others’ needs in more direct ways. The more you meet your needs in conscious and direct ways, the more present you can be for others. Read on for more about how to do this.


How to Invite Shared Vulnerability

Article  • 3-4 minutes • 8/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3-4 minutes

Shared vulnerability can build more intimacy, mutuality, being seen and heard, empathy, or community. Inviting shared vulnerability means earning another’s trust that you can consistently offer attentive, curious, and compassionate listening. Here are four strategies to invite shared vulnerability.


Prevent Misunderstanding--One Simple Strategy

Article  • 2-3 minutes • 8/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2-3 minutes

Misunderstandings can be painful. We can easily avoid this by checking what the other person understood from what we said, and ask the other person to do the same. Doing this is especially important when it comes to planning, shared decision-making, and when emotions are strong. Also, the more someone knows you, the more they think they already know what you mean -- which can get in the way of really hearing you. Here are a variety of ways to approach this simple strategy.


Preparing for Difficult Dialogue

Article  • 3-5 minutes • 1/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes

Effective and connected dialogue requires significant self-awareness, mindfulness, and skill. You can focus on any of these six areas that most often escape your awareness: anchoring and staying grounded; boundaries; thoughts and beliefs; stuckness or attachment; feelings and needs; and requests. Read on for a list of questions to help you focus on how to do that.


Overcoming Defensiveness

Article  • 5 - 7 minutes • 05/2010
All Skill Levels
Article
5 - 7 minutes

A big part of why receiving feedback is so challenging is because so few people around us know how to give feedback untainted with criticism, judgment, or our personal upset. But, if we wait for others to offer us usable, digestible, manageable feedback, we will not likely receive sufficient feedback for our growth and learning. Instead, we can grow in our capacity to fish the pearl that’s buried within. Here are three specific suggestions for how.


Simple Interventions for Chronic Reactivity

Article  • 6-9 minutes • 2/2018
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
6-9 minutes

For each reactive pattern there is a perceived threat to a tender need. Knowing these tender needs helps us figure out how to interrupt these patterns and creating new ways of perceiving and relating to life. In addition to knowing the need, knowing the healing response and the primary reactive behavior helps with transformation.


Responding to Criticism: At Work and At Home

Article  • 7 - 11 minutes • 5/2019
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
7 - 11 minutes

In general, criticism is a reactive response discomfort. When someone criticizes, they are not yet able or willing take responsibility for their needs. All criticism is a tragic expression of feelings and unmet needs. When you meet that criticism skillfully you not only care for yourself, you can facilitate clarity, and constructive communication, about what the other person is truly asking for.


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